Need an African American to Explain this Behavior

[Anonymous]

I think the below event to be an act of racism, but I would like a member from the African American community to verify or help me see why I'm wrong.

While picking up my child from daycare today (between Cameron Station and Old Town Alexandria, just off of Duke Street), I encountered four African American males while walking back to my car, 10 month old child in arms. My car was parked in front of the daycare building along the curb. They, the four African American youths (between 18 and 25 of age), were walking parallel to the street, on the street itself. We reached my car at the same time. One of the youths looked at me while I reached for my car door and, without breaking stride, spat on the driver's side of the door while looking me right in the eye.

Racism? Or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Why would you need an AA to explain this to you? You don't understand disrespect and rudeness? He was saying FUCK YOU LADY. I don't know why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you need an AA to explain this to you? You don't understand disrespect and rudeness? He was saying FUCK YOU LADY. I don't know why.

.

Exactly. Who knows his motivation? Forget it and move on.

[Anonymous]

They are obviously punks, derelicts. Race has nothing to do with it. Don't spend another minute thinking about it.

[Anonymous]

He -- as an individual -- was rude. It no more reflects on all blacks than you behavior reflects on all whites. Or Timothy McVeigh's behavior reflects on all whites.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I'm not white.

[Anonymous]

Yes, because all AA's display the exact same behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Agree w/ the responses to the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you need an AA to explain this to you? You don't understand disrespect and rudeness? He was saying FUCK YOU LADY. I don't know why.

.

Exactly. Who knows his motivation? Forget it and move on.

I don't come from a culture where insults are easily forgotten, and I would hope the U.S. is not a place where one can treat others with disrespect and expect zero repercussions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because all AA's display the exact same behaviors.

OP here-- no, but when an individual of your ethnicity commits an outrageous act, do you not feel shame? We are all representatives of our identities to the larger world - ethnicity, nationality, etc. If this were not the case, concepts such as "White Guilt" or Germany's guilt over Nazis would not exist. I'm requesting an AA's explanation because before I add this to the "well, some AAs are just hostile towards me" category in my mind, I'd like to have someone at least defend their case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I'm not white.

Well, that's important information if you're asking if something is racist. You need to say more.

[Anonymous]

OP, may I ask your background? Do you think you may have prompted it in any way? I am NOT saying this behavior is excusable.

Maybe they were jealous? Is it a nice car? This behavior could have been from anyone - including my uptight white neighbors who get jealous if they think someone has more than them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because all AA's display the exact same behaviors.

OP here-- no, but when an individual of your ethnicity commits an outrageous act, do you not feel shame? We are all representatives of our identities to the larger world - ethnicity, nationality, etc. If this were not the case, concepts such as "White Guilt" or Germany's guilt over Nazis would not exist. I'm requesting an AA's explanation because before I add this to the "well, some AAs are just hostile towards me" category in my mind, I'd like to have someone at least defend their case.

No, it doesn't work like that here. Maybe it does in your country, but not here. One AA is not representative of all, and no one can answer why he did it, except for him.

[Anonymous]

That is just reprehensible. I don't know why everyone wants to jump on here claiming it's not representative of young black male behavior, but I have seen this sort of behavior from young black males, too -- and have never seen it from any other race in this country. I don't think this act was racism against OP, but I do think it's a deep cultural and social issue that many urban black males grow up behaving this way, but get a pass because it's "racist" to call them out. I'm calling them out: this is not the way a human being in a civilized nation should ever treat the mother of a baby in front of that baby, and PPs are fooling themselves if they think it doesn't cause people like OP and me to associate those behaviors with the whole group. I know this is an unpopular thing to say and think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, because all AA's display the exact same behaviors.

OP here-- no, but when an individual of your ethnicity commits an outrageous act, do you not feel shame? We are all representatives of our identities to the larger world - ethnicity, nationality, etc. If this were not the case, concepts such as "White Guilt" or Germany's guilt over Nazis would not exist. I'm requesting an AA's explanation because before I add this to the "well, some AAs are just hostile towards me" category in my mind, I'd like to have someone at least defend their case.

I get that you're trying to understand what is going on but are you assuming that an African-American DCUMer would automatically "defend their case"? Why would that necessarily be the case?

OP, I think this is one of those things where you just don't know whether the guy was a racist jerk or just a jerk and you will never know. I'm white and when this kind of thing happens to me it helps me remember that African Americans don't always know why someone treated them a particular way and part of the stress of being a minority in this society is often not knowing whether something was a coincidence or just bad behavior or racially motivated.

No question the guy was a jerk. The other stuff? You'll never know.