Need an African American to Explain this Behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a race problem. It is typical behavior for a$$hole boys between those ages. Don't you remember being that age and knowing guys who were a$$holes? I knew frat guys who would do stupid things like this. It isn't a function of race but rather age and sex!

I wouldn't call that typical young male behavior. Spitting at someone is outside the norm. It's especially disrespectful and hateful.

Agreed. I've known plenty of disrespectful white kids, but never known them to spit. I think spitting is about the most disgusting and hateful gesture someone could make. I hope these kids get the shit kicked out of them one day b/c it sounds like they are punks who deserve it.

BS on you never seeing a white kid spit. Even as adults, I have seen white men spit, Asian men spit, Black men and Latino men spit.

+ Speak truth!

[Anonymous]

I live near a college campus and I've had my property vandalized by drunk white kids numerous times. I never blamed it on racism (I'm not white), just them being drunk and obnoxious. Only people of color are forced to take the blame for the actions of an individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the below event to be an act of racism, but I would like a member from the African American community to verify or help me see why I'm wrong.

While picking up my child from daycare today (between Cameron Station and Old Town Alexandria, just off of Duke Street), I encountered four African American males while walking back to my car, 10 month old child in arms. My car was parked in front of the daycare building along the curb. They, the four African American youths (between 18 and 25 of age), were walking parallel to the street, on the street itself. We reached my car at the same time. One of the youths looked at me while I reached for my car door and, without breaking stride, spat on the driver's side of the door while looking me right in the eye.

Racism? Or am I overreacting?

black guy here.

it seems like these AA species you encountered simply spat on your window to inform you that your vehicle needs cleaning. they either spat on your car to provide the water they felt you needed to wipe down your window or they were simply giving you the universal negro sign of "fuck you"

So that's how "Negroes" act? like animals?

I can't believe how angry people are. I don't give a rat's ass what color your fucking skin is. ANY person who spits on someone else or on someone's item is an ignorant low life.

I'm amazed at how some blacks are actually defending that disgusting behavior.

It's always a sign of class to say fuck you by spitting, isn't it?

the absurdity of my passage didnt give you not one indication that it was completely sarcastic?

Thank God! You can't always detect tone on forums. But the use of Negro was a give-away, I suppose!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I am a black mother, but I can't answer why this teen did this to you I'm not really sure why we're discussing "youths" when one person did this really nasty thing.

From my experience of growing up in the ghettos of DC:

-Some Asians who run convenience stores/carry outs/beauty supply stores are extremely rude and extremely suspicious of their black patrons. They set up shop in black neighborhoods and proceed to act like having them for a customer is a bother. This creates distrust between the two groups.
-Many (not just black people) see Asian males as weak and/or not that masculine. This might have especially been true in your case if you were making baby noises as you walked with your child. This does not excuse their behavior, but sometimes assholes will prey on people they perceive as weak.
-You say you noticed this boy as you walked with your child (noting the walking pattern, etc). This suggests that you were "watching" the youths. Perhaps they took this as fear and took offense? Not saying it's right, but some teens are incredibly immature and don't know how to deal with graciously handling a "diss".

Bottom line. This was a terrible act. I'm sorry it happened. I don't know if the teen did this because he didn't like Asians, because he thought you were weak or because he thought you had dissed him. Either way, it was wrong. I hope you don't blame and/or attribute certain behavior to all black people as a result of an unruly and disrespectful black teen.

+1 From another black mother. I have tried to break things down here before for people (that Brazilian thread) and just gave up. It's too tiring for me. You are better than I.

There is so much that goes into these microaggressions - it's not just personal perception but societal perceptions of Black and Asian men that are going into it.

I have never had a black teenager try to intimidate me in DC. I treat them politely, say excuse me, and I am not afraid of them, and nothing untoward has ever, ever happened to me. Especially with my child. If anything, they are more polite.

See, but you are a black mother. Try being a white mother with a child encountering a black male teen, and ask yourself if you think you can expect the same response. Nothing untoward has ever happened to me either, but I have made eye contact and said hello to black teens in my neighborhood who gazed past me, pretended not to hear, and said nothing. I won't call that racist b/c I don't know the motivation, but what is that behavior if not disrespect?

Not sure what you're getting at here. Am I supposed to feel sorry for white mothers if black teenagers don't say hi?

There are plenty of people who don't answer back if you say hello. Happens to me all the time with all kinds of people. I really don't take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP is looking for someone in the African American community to come out and acknowledge that there are major, major issues amongst AA youth and in particular young males, not just in this city but across the country. I am the minority in my predominately AA neighborhood, and it pisses me off to no end when my otherwise perfectly lovely AA neighbors will bitch and complain about the young male loafers but absolutely say nothing to them or their parents/guardians. I am white. Why are you bitching to me? Do you think that I would have a ton of success speaking to these kids' parents/guardians about their children cursing in front of my young child, throwing litter in the alley near my house, driving their shitty cars too fast down my one way street full of young children, blaring "gangsta rap" out the windows? I'm gonna go with NO. They would accuse me of being "racist" instead of being a neighbor who is annoyed by this generally disrespectful and thuggish behavior.

Mind you, I have gone out of my way to be friendly and say hello, offer my name, ask for theirs, etc. and these gestures are often met with a non-response or a barely audible mumble. For once, I would like these neighbors who have been in the community forever and claim to care so much about it to actually do something useful. If you've been here forever, do something. Say something. You know these people. I don't. And let's not kid ourselves that as a white newcomer anyone gives a shit about what I have to say or whether I or my family feel respected in our own neighborhood. I'm not painting all of my neighbors with a broad brush - I know these troublemakers are the minority. But nor am I going to pull the wool over my eyes and pretend like there is not an endemic problem when I know full well there is. I've heard these kids' relatives moaning about someone calling the police to shut down their loud drunken parties or to stop them using the street as a drag strip. "Why are they picking on my boy?" Wah wah wah. And I also know full well b/c I've heard the rumors through my neighbors that they always assume that some white family called the cops, when I also know b/c I've been told that some of the AA families near me have done so. Assumptions are made on both sides and the fact that we can't speak about them honestly is the problem. But again, I know that if I were to say something to these people that I'd be putting my family at risk for retaliation. Don't try to tell me that's not the case either.

I feel your frustration, our situations (and races) are reversed but our neighborhood issue was skateboarders. Urinating behind houses, skating on the sidewalks and using yard walls as guardrails. Signs were even put up to say no skating. Notices sent out. The parents are the type who when you greet them with a smile or hi as you walk by, they look away and do not respond. The old ladies in the neighborhood kept coming to me as if I could magically help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live near a college campus and I've had my property vandalized by drunk white kids numerous times. I never blamed it on racism (I'm not white), just them being drunk and obnoxious. Only people of color are forced to take the blame for the actions of an individual.

Are your white neighbors experiencing the same problem? If not, I'd say it was racism.

And your last statement is just ignorant. As a white person, I'm offended by the Neo Nazis/KKK. So you're saying that we don't take blame for their actions?

Stop being a martyr. Racism is EVERYONE's problem, and I'm calling you out for not speaking the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live near a college campus and I've had my property vandalized by drunk white kids numerous times. I never blamed it on racism (I'm not white), just them being drunk and obnoxious. Only people of color are forced to take the blame for the actions of an individual.

Are your white neighbors experiencing the same problem? If not, I'd say it was racism.

And your last statement is just ignorant. As a white person, I'm offended by the Neo Nazis/KKK. So you're saying that we don't take blame for their actions?

Stop being a martyr. Racism is EVERYONE's problem, and I'm calling you out for not speaking the truth.

Has anyone ever asked you to explain the mindset of the KKK or Nazis as if all white people think alike?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a race problem. It is typical behavior for a$$hole boys between those ages. Don't you remember being that age and knowing guys who were a$$holes? I knew frat guys who would do stupid things like this. It isn't a function of race but rather age and sex!

I wouldn't call that typical young male behavior. Spitting at someone is outside the norm. It's especially disrespectful and hateful.

Agreed. I've known plenty of disrespectful white kids, but never known them to spit. I think spitting is about the most disgusting and hateful gesture someone could make. I hope these kids get the shit kicked out of them one day b/c it sounds like they are punks who deserve it.

BS on you never seeing a white kid spit. Even as adults, I have seen white men spit, Asian men spit, Black men and Latino men spit.

I don't know where you come from, but I've never seen this amongst any kids. Where I grew up your parents would kick the crap out of you for behavior like that, and we knew better.

Our neighborhood has what you would call skaters, they ride up and down the street on skateboards. They stop to spit and keep going at all hours of the night and day. When it comes to men, you have never seen a man spit a loogie? Or any spit, ever in your entire life? No way are you serious. I worked at a govt agency and the men would spit walking into the building or outside in our courtyard. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP is looking for someone in the African American community to come out and acknowledge that there are major, major issues amongst AA youth and in particular young males, not just in this city but across the country. I am the minority in my predominately AA neighborhood, and it pisses me off to no end when my otherwise perfectly lovely AA neighbors will bitch and complain about the young male loafers but absolutely say nothing to them or their parents/guardians. I am white. Why are you bitching to me? Do you think that I would have a ton of success speaking to these kids' parents/guardians about their children cursing in front of my young child, throwing litter in the alley near my house, driving their shitty cars too fast down my one way street full of young children, blaring "gangsta rap" out the windows? I'm gonna go with NO. They would accuse me of being "racist" instead of being a neighbor who is annoyed by this generally disrespectful and thuggish behavior.

Mind you, I have gone out of my way to be friendly and say hello, offer my name, ask for theirs, etc. and these gestures are often met with a non-response or a barely audible mumble. For once, I would like these neighbors who have been in the community forever and claim to care so much about it to actually do something useful. If you've been here forever, do something. Say something. You know these people. I don't. And let's not kid ourselves that as a white newcomer anyone gives a shit about what I have to say or whether I or my family feel respected in our own neighborhood. I'm not painting all of my neighbors with a broad brush - I know these troublemakers are the minority. But nor am I going to pull the wool over my eyes and pretend like there is not an endemic problem when I know full well there is. I've heard these kids' relatives moaning about someone calling the police to shut down their loud drunken parties or to stop them using the street as a drag strip. "Why are they picking on my boy?" Wah wah wah. And I also know full well b/c I've heard the rumors through my neighbors that they always assume that some white family called the cops, when I also know b/c I've been told that some of the AA families near me have done so. Assumptions are made on both sides and the fact that we can't speak about them honestly is the problem. But again, I know that if I were to say something to these people that I'd be putting my family at risk for retaliation. Don't try to tell me that's not the case either.

I feel your frustration, our situations (and races) are reversed but our neighborhood issue was skateboarders. Urinating behind houses, skating on the sidewalks and using yard walls as guardrails. Signs were even put up to say no skating. Notices sent out. The parents are the type who when you greet them with a smile or hi as you walk by, they look away and do not respond. The old ladies in the neighborhood kept coming to me as if I could magically help.

Thank you. And as a white person I will absolutely call those little shits out as punks, and probably racist to boot. I'm not ignorant to the fact that these issues go both (all?) ways. And I know that as a AA, if you said something to them they would try to retaliate, and their ignorant relations would feel that they were completely justified. I agree 100% with all the posters who are saying that racism is everyone's problem and that we are all called upon to help deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live near a college campus and I've had my property vandalized by drunk white kids numerous times. I never blamed it on racism (I'm not white), just them being drunk and obnoxious. Only people of color are forced to take the blame for the actions of an individual.

Are your white neighbors experiencing the same problem? If not, I'd say it was racism.

And your last statement is just ignorant. As a white person, I'm offended by the Neo Nazis/KKK. So you're saying that we don't take blame for their actions?

Stop being a martyr. Racism is EVERYONE's problem, and I'm calling you out for not speaking the truth.

Has anyone ever asked you to explain the mindset of the KKK or Nazis as if all white people think alike?

Yes, actually. And it wasn't a defend or justify kind of question, but more in the spirit of trying to understand where this thinking comes from. I have to admit that as a white person I don't know any more than an AA knows why some of their race are prejudiced toward others, but I don't take offense at the question or at the attempt to understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have never had a black teenager try to intimidate me in DC. I treat them politely, say excuse me, and I am not afraid of them, and nothing untoward has ever, ever happened to me. Especially with my child. If anything, they are more polite.

See, but you are a black mother. Try being a white mother with a child encountering a black male teen, and ask yourself if you think you can expect the same response. Nothing untoward has ever happened to me either, but I have made eye contact and said hello to black teens in my neighborhood who gazed past me, pretended not to hear, and said nothing. I won't call that racist b/c I don't know the motivation, but what is that behavior if not disrespect?

Not sure what you're getting at here. Am I supposed to feel sorry for white mothers if black teenagers don't say hi?

There are plenty of people who don't answer back if you say hello. Happens to me all the time with all kinds of people. I really don't take it personally.

No, but I do think it's disingenous to suggest that no one of any race anywhere in the city has anything to fear from black teens, or that your being black has nothing to do with black kids showing you some respect. I have no doubt that you have encountered little white shits who are rude or disrespectful, and I also have no doubt that they would not behave the same way towards me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live near a college campus and I've had my property vandalized by drunk white kids numerous times. I never blamed it on racism (I'm not white), just them being drunk and obnoxious. Only people of color are forced to take the blame for the actions of an individual.

Are your white neighbors experiencing the same problem? If not, I'd say it was racism.

And your last statement is just ignorant. As a white person, I'm offended by the Neo Nazis/KKK. So you're saying that we don't take blame for their actions?

Stop being a martyr. Racism is EVERYONE's problem, and I'm calling you out for not speaking the truth.

Has anyone ever asked you to explain the mindset of the KKK or Nazis as if all white people think alike?

As a white teacher who's the minority in her classroom, the answer is yes. So don't speak for me.

[Anonymous]

I'm with the poster who said shitty kids come in all colors. Shitty parenting comes in all colors. All of the negative in this world didn't come from black teenagers and all of the positive didn't come from white teenagers. I am not going to avoid Chinese people because my order was incorrect at a Chinese restaurant and I will not avoid all Latino men because one whistled at me as I walked by. You are going to have good and bad experiences with all races. If you decide to avoid all people of that race, that is up to you. But I do find it weird if you hate all Black people but love famous Black people like Michael Jordan and JayZ. How does that work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP is looking for someone in the African American community to come out and acknowledge that there are major, major issues amongst AA youth and in particular young males, not just in this city but across the country. I am the minority in my predominately AA neighborhood, and it pisses me off to no end when my otherwise perfectly lovely AA neighbors will bitch and complain about the young male loafers but absolutely say nothing to them or their parents/guardians. I am white. Why are you bitching to me? Do you think that I would have a ton of success speaking to these kids' parents/guardians about their children cursing in front of my young child, throwing litter in the alley near my house, driving their shitty cars too fast down my one way street full of young children, blaring "gangsta rap" out the windows? I'm gonna go with NO. They would accuse me of being "racist" instead of being a neighbor who is annoyed by this generally disrespectful and thuggish behavior.

Mind you, I have gone out of my way to be friendly and say hello, offer my name, ask for theirs, etc. and these gestures are often met with a non-response or a barely audible mumble. For once, I would like these neighbors who have been in the community forever and claim to care so much about it to actually do something useful. If you've been here forever, do something. Say something. You know these people. I don't. And let's not kid ourselves that as a white newcomer anyone gives a shit about what I have to say or whether I or my family feel respected in our own neighborhood. I'm not painting all of my neighbors with a broad brush - I know these troublemakers are the minority. But nor am I going to pull the wool over my eyes and pretend like there is not an endemic problem when I know full well there is. I've heard these kids' relatives moaning about someone calling the police to shut down their loud drunken parties or to stop them using the street as a drag strip. "Why are they picking on my boy?" Wah wah wah. And I also know full well b/c I've heard the rumors through my neighbors that they always assume that some white family called the cops, when I also know b/c I've been told that some of the AA families near me have done so. Assumptions are made on both sides and the fact that we can't speak about them honestly is the problem. But again, I know that if I were to say something to these people that I'd be putting my family at risk for retaliation. Don't try to tell me that's not the case either.

I feel your frustration, our situations (and races) are reversed but our neighborhood issue was skateboarders. Urinating behind houses, skating on the sidewalks and using yard walls as guardrails. Signs were even put up to say no skating. Notices sent out. The parents are the type who when you greet them with a smile or hi as you walk by, they look away and do not respond. The old ladies in the neighborhood kept coming to me as if I could magically help.

Thank you. And as a white person I will absolutely call those little shits out as punks, and probably racist to boot. I'm not ignorant to the fact that these issues go both (all?) ways. And I know that as a AA, if you said something to them they would try to retaliate, and their ignorant relations would feel that they were completely justified. I agree 100% with all the posters who are saying that racism is everyone's problem and that we are all called upon to help deal with it.

Completely agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I live near a college campus and I've had my property vandalized by drunk white kids numerous times. I never blamed it on racism (I'm not white), just them being drunk and obnoxious. Only people of color are forced to take the blame for the actions of an individual.

I also I've in a college town and the white young "men" are some of the sorriest, most drunken, homophobic excuses for human beings I've ever seen.

I still don't think this is representative of all white people.