My husband is addicted to marijuana

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are all you pot smokers buying your pot? Aren't you afraid of getting arrested?

There are A LOT of middle/upper class adults I know who smoke pot on occasion. We keep it very hush from friends who don't do it. I went on a mom's weekend get away to the beach a few weeks ago and someone brought "brownies", it was a blast. Some of the mom's hadn't done it in years. I went to my annual sales kick off for my company and there were quite a few people who got together and smoked. These are all highly functioning successful people. I would rather spend the rest of my life with a pot head than an alcoholic. I think it should even be legalized (but I am a libertarian and I think A LOT of things should be legal that are illegal).

However, OPs husband sounds like he has crossed the line. Same as if someone crossed the line with alcohol.

Sorry, didn't finish. No I am no afraid of getting arrested. I don't drive under the influence and the police do not activly go after users, they want the dealers.

[Anonymous]

Isn't there also a danger element - getting robbed or other things by drug dealers?

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why you refer to it as his "secret life" -- it sounds to me like he is pretty honest with you about his habits.

I think it really comes down to whether or not you love him. If you love him, then you should try and make it work. And keep after him to get help plus getting help for yourself.

If you think you are done and finished with the relationship, then get a divorce.

Only you know what you want to do.

[Anonymous]

I eat McDonalds in secret, my husband has no clue. I only use cash b/c I don't want him to see it on the credit card and bust me. I eat it in secret because I am the biggest "organic" freak about food, but I'm addicted to McD's. If my husband found out he would tease me forever and think I'm a hypocrite (which I am). Does this mean that I live a secret life and be a pedophile? Should I be trusted alone with the kids?

LOL. That is funny! Thanks for making my *early* weekend!

[Anonymous]

Oops. Forgot the quotation marks. But still funny.

[Anonymous]

The potheads that I have known for years are usually self medicating. Does he have issues with depression or anxiety? Have you seen the side effects on some of the rx drugs??? I would probably consider pot, too. I can also see the long term issues with pot use, so I guess it is really a toss up.

Just so I am clear, I am not talking about the recreational pot smoker. I use the term "pothead" to describe someone that smokes several times a day, if not all day. The people that I have know that use pot as more of a weekend thing or nightcap don't seem to have the same issues.

[Anonymous]

Here is a story for you (and know that I smoked a ton of pot in my youth). I have an uncle who is a great guy.He has a succesful career, a great marriage and three adult children. He smokes pot every day and has for at least the past 30 years. The two girls turned out fine but the boy struggles with a serious drug addiction. My uncle has never been able to credibly deal with his son's addiction. He tries, but in the end his son knows that he too uses drugs. He wants nothing more than for his son to be sober yet he continues with his daily pot smoking. Crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leave. And NEVER leave your children alone with him. EVER.

i am so sick of this kind of simplistic response to concerns that people bring up here. this is obviously more complicated than that and it would behoove you to step off your "i would never endure that" pedestal because really, you never know what you would endure until you're in that situation yourself.

same goes for the pot --> crazy secret lives of pedophiles point. it is definitely a stretch. i'm not a marijuana user and i'm not all pro-marijuana, but i think this is a bit of an extreme correlation. that's like saying someone who lies about how much they weigh are harboring other secrets too like secret lovers!!

i think it's a significant thing that OP's husband is being open about his use and seeing that there is a problem. OP, i think there's some good advice among the crazies here and i wish you the best. it sounds like your husband is willing to try to change, and i hope he can do it.

[Anonymous]

Where can I buy some?

I'll pick some up on the way to my swingers club . . .

[Anonymous]

This is unintentionally funny and a little sad: All these DCUMs justifying or extolling their own pot use while ignoring the fact that OP's husband is a slug who lies and steals from her. You are oh-so-hip for smoking pot. It'll be fun talking to your kids about drug use while you hide your stash and hope they don't find it. Grow up, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't there also a danger element - getting robbed or other things by drug dealers?

Where do you think this pot is coming from? We're not cruising down 1st street in our minivans! You're watching too many movies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: You are oh-so-hip for smoking pot. It'll be fun talking to your kids about drug use while you hide your stash and hope they don't find it. Grow up, people.

My kid better not steal my stash! He can buy his own-paws off!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I eat McDonalds in secret, my husband has no clue. I only use cash b/c I don't want him to see it on the credit card and bust me. I eat it in secret because I am the biggest "organic" freak about food, but I'm addicted to McD's. If my husband found out he would tease me forever and think I'm a hypocrite (which I am). Does this mean that I live a secret life and be a pedophile? Should I be trusted alone with the kids?

LOL. That is funny! Thanks for making my *early* weekend!

This also made my day! reminds me of last night when my husband asked me what was on my neck thinking I was getting a sunspot and I had to admit it was chocolate (he was hilarious-he goes -busted!) I didn't want him to think it was dirt or something worse from my DB!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All,
I found some hidden marijuana ONE MONTH before our wedding and questioned him about it. He said it was no biggie - something recreational, but if I had a problem with it he wouldn't do it again. Since then I have come to realize:

1. He has a serious problem with marijuana
2. He has stolen money from me
3. He has lied on so many occasions I don't trust him

We have a very open communication about this, and he admits it is a problem. He started going to NA, but I have just recently realized that he is still using. This using habit, by the way, also affects his interaction with our kids (he will be in the playroom knocked out asleep while they run around him, but quickly "wake up" when I go over). We have tried counselling, but I'm not sure how helpful it really is, because he does admit he has a problem and it causes a problem in our lives- he just hasn't been able to overcome it as far as I can see.
He trys to help with the kids (his definition of help is what I mentioned above), he is not very reliable, and his mood is variable. Sometimes I chalk his behavior up to "typical" behavior for a male (meaning perhaps I am a bit compulsive and I need to relax), but then other times I know that this is not normal. I am so scared my children will find out that he does the drugs, nor do I want them to get older and wonder why Daddy comes and goes "to 7-11" so much (coffee at 9pm?). Our kids are infants right now (two under two), so I feel now is a good time as they won't realize he is gone.

I think a lot of the PPs who are justifying their own recreational pot use are ignoring the OP's statements about the dishonesty involved and how her husband's habit is affecting their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are all you pot smokers buying your pot? Aren't you afraid of getting arrested?

I buy only from friends that I have known and trusted for years. I cannot really say here where exactly I get it from but it's not like I make a run to the ghetto in the middle of the night, it is more available in affluent parts of town than you think. I have even dispensed some to my coworker who is undergoing chemo. Taken responsibly, it can have a therapeutic effect. In California, they have stores where you can buy THC food products like salad dressing, brownies, peanutbutter and its perfectly legal.