Is it tacky to post your wedding registry on Facebook?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not a convenience so much as it's a statement that guests are required to buy you a gift. While it's certainly the norm (and good manners) to buy a gift for the bride and groom, it's still optional.

Does the inclusion of information about a hotel block imply that guests are required to stay the night? Does the invitation itself imply that guests are required to attend???

As far as I see it, the more information about the wedding in the invitation, the better. There is so much emphasis on antiquated formalities (not just with weddings, though it is an area of particular frustration) that we get caught up in this nonsense. If you had every intention of buying a gift for the happy couple, why would you be offended at them providing you some information to aid in gift buying? Because they violated an unspoken rule that they may be unaware of or disagree with? I recognize that social customs are real and of value, but the idea that those who might abide to a different set of generally arbitrary rules are somehow fatally flawed just seems nonsensical to me.

Nobody said you were fatally flawed, just that the practice is tacky. I'm 28 and I've been invited to about 15 weddings in the past few years and I've never ever seen registry info included on an invite. I've seen it with a shower invite a couple of times but I'm not wild about that either. As far as convenience, all of my friends know how to find registries online within about 30 seconds.

I'm 28 as well, and the past few weddings I have been invited to had the registry information on the invite. If they had registered at multiple places it was included on a little slip of paper attached to the invite. I think it is a little weird, and I always just look it up online anyways.

[Anonymous]

Putting it on the wedding invitation is incredibly bad form because it suggests that a present is more important to the bride and groom than the guest.

You can include a link to a personal wedding website if you have one. Usually you'd put this on a little piece of paper inserted in the invitation. If the website also happens to registry information, as well as hotel and other wedding information, so be it.

If you are in the wedding planning process right now pick up an etiquette book.

As for putting it on FB - depends. Is it visible to just people who were invited to the bridal shower? If so, I'd say that is okay because it's okay to include a registry link in a shower invitation. Is it visible to people not invited to the shower or even to the wedding? Beyond tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious??? Why is this tacky?

well for one reason, why would you advertise your registry to a bunch of people who aren't even invited to the wedding?

I'm not saying it's smart or the best approach. But why is posting it on FaceBook or, more curiously, including the registries in the invitation considered tacky?

OMG, really?

The only time it's acceptable to put registry info on an invitation is if it's for a shower, because a shower, by definition, is an event where you bring a gift for the person of honor.

When you invite someone to your wedding, it is NOT expected that guests will bring a gift. The point of the event is NOT gift giving. Of course, it's likely that most people who come will bring a gift, because they want to give the couple something to celebrate the event. But it is not okay to ask people to bring gifts. Registries are there for convenience, and if a guest asks about the registry, it's perfectly acceptable to direct him/her to it. But DO NOT put registry info on invitations. Tacky!

And Facebook?? Good lord. No. As the PP pointed out, chances are most people on your FB friends list aren't even invited to the wedding. Talk about a gift grab! Tacky tacky tacky.

Sounds like a very antiquated perception of weddings. I am going through the process now, along with many other friends, and this is completely foreign. This may have been true in the past but is not true of my generation.

Good god, where do you live?? Inland Florida??

[Anonymous]

Tacky and rude.

[Anonymous]

In 20 years, this will be common. Just like e-mail.

[Anonymous]

I'm curious... For those of you who state that it's okay to put registry info on the invitation (it's not!!!), are you equally okay with invitations that state that the bride and groom only want cash gifts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious??? Why is this tacky?

well for one reason, why would you advertise your registry to a bunch of people who aren't even invited to the wedding?

I'm not saying it's smart or the best approach. But why is posting it on FaceBook or, more curiously, including the registries in the invitation considered tacky?

OMG, really?

The only time it's acceptable to put registry info on an invitation is if it's for a shower, because a shower, by definition, is an event where you bring a gift for the person of honor.

When you invite someone to your wedding, it is NOT expected that guests will bring a gift. The point of the event is NOT gift giving. Of course, it's likely that most people who come will bring a gift, because they want to give the couple something to celebrate the event. But it is not okay to ask people to bring gifts. Registries are there for convenience, and if a guest asks about the registry, it's perfectly acceptable to direct him/her to it. But DO NOT put registry info on invitations. Tacky!

And Facebook?? Good lord. No. As the PP pointed out, chances are most people on your FB friends list aren't even invited to the wedding. Talk about a gift grab! Tacky tacky tacky.

Sounds like a very antiquated perception of weddings. I am going through the process now, along with many other friends, and this is completely foreign. This may have been true in the past but is not true of my generation.

I disagree. I just turned 30, and I can think of only one invitation I've received in the last 5 years that included registry info (this couple also had a cash bar and never sent thank you notes, but that's another story).

[Anonymous]

Yes, tacky. Next?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious??? Why is this tacky?

well for one reason, why would you advertise your registry to a bunch of people who aren't even invited to the wedding?

I'm not saying it's smart or the best approach. But why is posting it on FaceBook or, more curiously, including the registries in the invitation considered tacky?

OMG, really?

The only time it's acceptable to put registry info on an invitation is if it's for a shower, because a shower, by definition, is an event where you bring a gift for the person of honor.

When you invite someone to your wedding, it is NOT expected that guests will bring a gift. The point of the event is NOT gift giving. Of course, it's likely that most people who come will bring a gift, because they want to give the couple something to celebrate the event. But it is not okay to ask people to bring gifts. Registries are there for convenience, and if a guest asks about the registry, it's perfectly acceptable to direct him/her to it. But DO NOT put registry info on invitations. Tacky!

And Facebook?? Good lord. No. As the PP pointed out, chances are most people on your FB friends list aren't even invited to the wedding. Talk about a gift grab! Tacky tacky tacky.

Sounds like a very antiquated perception of weddings. I am going through the process now, along with many other friends, and this is completely foreign. This may have been true in the past but is not true of my generation.

Your generation? You mean your social class. Ick.

And what exactly is that supposed to mean? What do you know of my social class? This is the problem with these conversations... someone way back when decided the "right" way to do something and anyone who doesn't adhere to that decision is outcast. Fuck that. I'm sorry, but I'd rather have a "tacky" insert in a wedding invitation than being a pompous, judgmental asshole. To me, that is far more tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious??? Why is this tacky?

well for one reason, why would you advertise your registry to a bunch of people who aren't even invited to the wedding?

I'm not saying it's smart or the best approach. But why is posting it on FaceBook or, more curiously, including the registries in the invitation considered tacky?

OMG, really?

The only time it's acceptable to put registry info on an invitation is if it's for a shower, because a shower, by definition, is an event where you bring a gift for the person of honor.

When you invite someone to your wedding, it is NOT expected that guests will bring a gift. The point of the event is NOT gift giving. Of course, it's likely that most people who come will bring a gift, because they want to give the couple something to celebrate the event. But it is not okay to ask people to bring gifts. Registries are there for convenience, and if a guest asks about the registry, it's perfectly acceptable to direct him/her to it. But DO NOT put registry info on invitations. Tacky!

And Facebook?? Good lord. No. As the PP pointed out, chances are most people on your FB friends list aren't even invited to the wedding. Talk about a gift grab! Tacky tacky tacky.

Sounds like a very antiquated perception of weddings. I am going through the process now, along with many other friends, and this is completely foreign. This may have been true in the past but is not true of my generation.

Your generation? You mean your social class. Ick.

And what exactly is that supposed to mean? What do you know of my social class? This is the problem with these conversations... someone way back when decided the "right" way to do something and anyone who doesn't adhere to that decision is outcast. Fuck that. I'm sorry, but I'd rather have a "tacky" insert in a wedding invitation than being a pompous, judgmental asshole. To me, that is far more tacky.

Your true colors are showing...
The etiquette surrounding not demanding a gift in writing, as a quid pro quo of attending a social gathering that you are INVITING SOMEONE TO AS YOUR GUEST is not a generational issue. Just because the manner of invitations has evolved, and you have access to email or evite or facebook or whatever, does not make the practice of gift grabbing any less tacky. It's tacky now. It will be tacky 20 years from now. It will always be tacky because it's bad manners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you serious??? Why is this tacky?

well for one reason, why would you advertise your registry to a bunch of people who aren't even invited to the wedding?

I'm not saying it's smart or the best approach. But why is posting it on FaceBook or, more curiously, including the registries in the invitation considered tacky?

OMG, really?

The only time it's acceptable to put registry info on an invitation is if it's for a shower, because a shower, by definition, is an event where you bring a gift for the person of honor.

When you invite someone to your wedding, it is NOT expected that guests will bring a gift. The point of the event is NOT gift giving. Of course, it's likely that most people who come will bring a gift, because they want to give the couple something to celebrate the event. But it is not okay to ask people to bring gifts. Registries are there for convenience, and if a guest asks about the registry, it's perfectly acceptable to direct him/her to it. But DO NOT put registry info on invitations. Tacky!

And Facebook?? Good lord. No. As the PP pointed out, chances are most people on your FB friends list aren't even invited to the wedding. Talk about a gift grab! Tacky tacky tacky.

Sounds like a very antiquated perception of weddings. I am going through the process now, along with many other friends, and this is completely foreign. This may have been true in the past but is not true of my generation.

Your generation? You mean your social class. Ick.

And what exactly is that supposed to mean? What do you know of my social class? This is the problem with these conversations... someone way back when decided the "right" way to do something and anyone who doesn't adhere to that decision is outcast. Fuck that. I'm sorry, but I'd rather have a "tacky" insert in a wedding invitation than being a pompous, judgmental asshole. To me, that is far more tacky.

Your true colors are showing...
The etiquette surrounding not demanding a gift in writing, as a quid pro quo of attending a social gathering that you are INVITING SOMEONE TO AS YOUR GUEST is not a generational issue. Just because the manner of invitations has evolved, and you have access to email or evite or facebook or whatever, does not make the practice of gift grabbing any less tacky. It's tacky now. It will be tacky 20 years from now. It will always be tacky because it's bad manners.

I've seen enough people doing it other ways without offending a soul to confidently say that we have moved away from the mindset of "do it this way or you're a flawed human". Sorry that you are on the wrong side of people being more open-minded about social conventions.

[Anonymous]

Or I just have good manners. Whichever way you want to look at it. I'll stay over here thank you very much.

[Anonymous]

Tacky.

I am not one for standing on formalities. I probably was raised lower middle class. And yes I think it's tacky to include gift info in an invitation.

Just like you wait to be invited to dinner, you wait to be asked if someone can have your registry info. It is just polite.

[Anonymous]

"I'm sorry, but I'd rather have a "tacky" insert in a wedding invitation than being a pompous, judgmental asshole. "

You're on the wrong site, hon.

[Anonymous]

Whoa, really tacky. Unheard of until now, in fact!