How do WAHMS feel about all of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the record, there is NO PERFECT SITUATION. Working moms, SAHM, WAHMs...we're all just doing our best and parenting is DAMN HARD.

I'm a WAHM and I work part-time (about 15-20 hrs a week) in the evenings after my kids go to bed. Like another poster said, I feel like I have the best and worst of both worlds. I get to be with my kiddos during the day and watch the hit milestones and do fun things with them, but after my kids go to sleep is when my work starts. But I don't have to wash bottles and pump parts and pack bags for daycare, which WM's do. But I can start dinner earlier than my WM's do, but they get to talk to adults all day without getting interrupted by tantrums and "I want water" and whatnot. But our finances are seriously lacking even with the work that I do...and that equals stress.

It's all a give and take, people.

How do you have the energy to work at night?

Once it's 7pm, I am tired and I don't want to work anymore. I guess part of it is because I have a baby who never sleeps at night, so I am always tired. But I have to work or study during these hours because there really isn't any other time. I try to do as much as I can during the day, but my high needs baby makes it hard.

So I work off an on throughout the day/night. It's okay, but I'd really prefer to get it all done in one stretch.

I do get my "long stretches" on the weekend when DH is home, but really I prefer to make that family time.

I'm just wondering basically, are you tired after working all day with the kids? How do you focus at night?

Good question. I don't I eat pretty healthy and that helps a lot, and I actually don't drink caffeine--which sounds counter intuitive, but when I did drink it, I was even more tired. I have a baby who is still waking up twice a night to nurse, too. I'm tired, but I have to do it, so I do. I do like my job and that helps. I would also like stretches, too. I'm considering getting someone in one day a week, but I'd have to see if it would work out financially. It's hard, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

Wow - this hasn't been my experience at all. I don't know a ton of working moms who don't want to work. They may want more sleep, more hours in the day, whatever, but most moms I know at least want to work. And I know some SAHMs who would love to find flexible PT options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

Wow - this hasn't been my experience at all. I don't know a ton of working moms who don't want to work. They may want more sleep, more hours in the day, whatever, but most moms I know at least want to work. And I know some SAHMs who would love to find flexible PT options.

Same here. 100%. I can't think of any of my WOHM or WAHM friends who would rather be SAHMs. Many would like a slightly different balance (less hours of work or more flexible schedules). But none of them would choose to be SAHMs. Those who wanted that have chosen it already. Maybe the fact is that this group can afford to do what they want. Some choose to be SAHMs, and some choose to continue working, mostly on their terms. The control/choice part is key, in my opinion.

On the SAHM side, many of my friends who do that are very happy and wouldn't change a thing. But a few have said they'd love to work part-time in some way, but haven't found anything that's a good fit or would justify the cost of child care or the loss of flexibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

Agree with this. I work because I have to. My job provides all of the benefits and the vast majority of the income for my family. I'm amazed at the idea the most mothers who work do so because they "want" to. I actually love my job, but if I win the lottery tomorrow, I'll quit. Most of the men I know feel the same way - if people worked for fun, employers wouldn't need to pay us. Duh. Maybe I just can't fathom being so wealthy that working carries some sort of amusement value. Ah well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

Agree with this. I work because I have to. My job provides all of the benefits and the vast majority of the income for my family. I'm amazed at the idea the most mothers who work do so because they "want" to. I actually love my job, but if I win the lottery tomorrow, I'll quit. Most of the men I know feel the same way - if people worked for fun, employers wouldn't need to pay us. Duh. Maybe I just can't fathom being so wealthy that working carries some sort of amusement value. Ah well.

I just don't think we got to where we are as a society with people working just for $. Many educated people, who were given opportunities, seek some sort of meaningful, satisfying work. I can think of a dozen neighbors of my parents - the wives stayed home in the 70s and 80s and raised kids, and after 10, 15, 20 years, went to work not because of financial necessity but satisfaction. It's possible that people with young kids want this too. Certainly not everyone, but many of us.

I'm not saying working a traditional 40-50 work week is the only way to find satisfaction, but all of the SAHMs I know are involved in some kind of "work" outside their family - volunteering, keeping a foot in the workforce through very PT consulting, etc. It's just not my experience that people ONLY work for money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

Agree with this. I work because I have to. My job provides all of the benefits and the vast majority of the income for my family. I'm amazed at the idea the most mothers who work do so because they "want" to. I actually love my job, but if I win the lottery tomorrow, I'll quit. Most of the men I know feel the same way - if people worked for fun, employers wouldn't need to pay us. Duh. Maybe I just can't fathom being so wealthy that working carries some sort of amusement value. Ah well.

I love my work. It's stimulating, challenging, and it makes the world a better place.

There's nothing else in my life that provides a similar opportunity, including my amazing DH and child, my supportive extended family, and my wide circle of friends. So it's not about "amusement value" for me. It's about being a happy and fulfilled person who I believe is in turn a better mother to my child as a result.

I know many (most?) other people do not feel this way about their work. So I'm grateful for it every day. I've had plenty of other jobs that felt like jobs, and I used to tell myself the same thing -- it sucks, but that's why they pay me to do it. Thankfully I kept looking for something better, and I found it. Definitely the right result for our family!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well this is drama, but it’s how I feel.

I feel that most (not all) moms should be wahms. Even if you only sell candles once a week like pp mentioned.

For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children. But this isn’t a perfect world and that would only lead to more sexism so I guess I have to support it to some degree.

But I don’t support it when little, tiny babies have to be without their moms. You knew you were going to have kids one day, you should have planned better; unless your income is really, really low. If not, I don’t feel sorry that you have to work outside the home to maintain your six-figure lifestyle instead of being with your baby. Your priorities are messed up. Especially those who proudly flaunt how they couldn’t stand being around their kids all day.

I don’t support when people act like daycare is better or just as good as being with a loving parent.

I don’t support when people try to use studies to justify their foolishness. Babies need their moms, period. Don’t show me studies about how good daycare is. Just be honest and say your career is more important than your kid- I’d respect you more.

I don’t support WAHMS putting their kids in daycare. Have someone come to your house to provide care instead of slugging them off to those germ-infested heathen filled centers. Or send them to grandma and grandpas. Otherwise, go to work like the rest of them.

Now that I look, I guess I just have a problem with daycare. I would never say any of this aloud for fear of the torches. Yet, I respect that people have the right to do what floats their boats. That doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on it.

I am quite sure that this is a troll.... From 1952

[Anonymous]

I think, OP, your time machine is off. Both my grandmothers worked, right away -- one had a daycare, the other taught school. My grandmother's mother was a SAHM with 8 kids (two did die in infancy), and believe me, that kind of caregiver / child ratio wouldn't pass today. My mom WOHM as a teacher, right away. My MIL stayed at home, smoking, and yelling at her kids -- which is why my DH doesn't want me to stay home. He equates trained care w/ good care. Not that I'm not excellent, but I haven't been trained and although I work w/ our kids, it's nothing like what a professional would do.

[Anonymous]

On a side note.... I am a SAHM right now (well, I guess technically I WOTH an extremely minimal amount of hours while my husband is off.. How do you all find these jobs where you're able to WAH... I waaaaaaaaaaant this VERY badly... I would LOVE an opportunity like this.... so not to take over the post or anything, but would some of you maybe mind sharing what you do for a living and how you got these positions?

[Anonymous]

What about homosexual couples or couples where the dad wants to stay home? Then what, OP, will you use to bash them? Lack of ovaries <> bad stay at home parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

Agree with this. I work because I have to. My job provides all of the benefits and the vast majority of the income for my family. I'm amazed at the idea the most mothers who work do so because they "want" to. I actually love my job, but if I win the lottery tomorrow, I'll quit. Most of the men I know feel the same way - if people worked for fun, employers wouldn't need to pay us. Duh. Maybe I just can't fathom being so wealthy that working carries some sort of amusement value. Ah well.

The vast majority of them are lying.

I work because I have to, and I've worked in all sort of glamour jobs (and non-profit jobs too) and I've met about five people in 15 years who would rather work than not. This is why we all dream of winning the lottery!!!!!!!

I was a SAHM for a brief period of time, and it was amazing. Yes, I am jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

Agree with this. I work because I have to. My job provides all of the benefits and the vast majority of the income for my family. I'm amazed at the idea the most mothers who work do so because they "want" to. I actually love my job, but if I win the lottery tomorrow, I'll quit. Most of the men I know feel the same way - if people worked for fun, employers wouldn't need to pay us. Duh. Maybe I just can't fathom being so wealthy that working carries some sort of amusement value. Ah well.

The vast majority of them are lying.

I work because I have to, and I've worked in all sort of glamour jobs (and non-profit jobs too) and I've met about five people in 15 years who would rather work than not. This is why we all dream of winning the lottery!!!!!!!

I was a SAHM for a brief period of time, and it was amazing. Yes, I am jealous.

Ugh - for some of us it's not about a "glamour job" - WTF would that be? I would rather earn a paycheck than not; so yeah I'm working for $ but also for independence. Not just to have money to spend - we could do okay on DH's income. Also working because I'm risk averse and wouldn't feel comfortable not. Also working to stay in the workforce because I do think I'll want to focus more on my career after I'm done raising kids. And because I really think it's better for my marriage if I work - I would likely get stuck with way more cooking, cleaning, errands, etc. if I stayed home and I'd think I'd resent my husband.

Just speaking personally and don't think working out of the home is for every mom. That said if you know of only five people who are passionate about their jobs you are in the wrong circles...this is DC - I've honestly had more than 5 conversations on the metro alone with strangers passionate about their jobs - sheesh! Not everyone needs a "glamorous" job or even a "I'm saving the world" job to find interesting work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the most part, I don’t believe that women should be in the “traditional” workforce. Well, let me correct that- married women with children.

Huh. I didn't realize they had the internet in 1956.

My thoughts exactly. The problem with this poster is that she doesn't possess the intelligence or logic to really follow the implications of her "ideal" - if all married women with kids quit the workforce, we couldn't sustain our economy, and women would be second class citizens. Our medical care would be totally different (like it was decades ago when all the researchers and physicians were men), so many policies and practices would be different. Her life and the life of her children would be different. Very few women in grad school, women run businesses, etc. We'd all still be laying back in a hospital bed in stirrups birthing a baby while our husbands waited outside - my mom's experience, but not mine.

In no time in our history have the majority of moms stayed home. Women have always worked, the difference now is because of our critical mass and increased educational opportunities, more women have more meaningful and higher paid jobs. Highly recomend "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" By Stephanie Coontz that is all about this myth of the 1950s one income family. Not so for most Americans.

I have no interest in the mommy wars that really don't exist for me beyond DCUM; if someone says they think it's better for kids for moms to stay home, that is her opinion and it's fine with me. I do have issues with lapse in logic though.

The vast majority of women who work (myself included) do so because we need two incomes. Especially in this economy. It's not because we want to work and leave our kids. We have no choice, unlike the wealthy SAHMs around here.

Then again, I knew a few moms who probably would have been better off not having kids at all. They don't enjoy giving up their freedom; they don't enjoy their kids; they're not very good moms, period.

Of course most people wish they didn't have to work! But we have to pay the bills. It sucks, it's sad, but what can you do? People have it way worse than us.

Agree with this. I work because I have to. My job provides all of the benefits and the vast majority of the income for my family. I'm amazed at the idea the most mothers who work do so because they "want" to. I actually love my job, but if I win the lottery tomorrow, I'll quit. Most of the men I know feel the same way - if people worked for fun, employers wouldn't need to pay us. Duh. Maybe I just can't fathom being so wealthy that working carries some sort of amusement value. Ah well.

The vast majority of them are lying.

I work because I have to, and I've worked in all sort of glamour jobs (and non-profit jobs too) and I've met about five people in 15 years who would rather work than not. This is why we all dream of winning the lottery!!!!!!!

I was a SAHM for a brief period of time, and it was amazing. Yes, I am jealous.

Ugh - for some of us it's not about a "glamour job" - WTF would that be? I would rather earn a paycheck than not; so yeah I'm working for $ but also for independence. Not just to have money to spend - we could do okay on DH's income. Also working because I'm risk averse and wouldn't feel comfortable not. Also working to stay in the workforce because I do think I'll want to focus more on my career after I'm done raising kids. And because I really think it's better for my marriage if I work - I would likely get stuck with way more cooking, cleaning, errands, etc. if I stayed home and I'd think I'd resent my husband.

Just speaking personally and don't think working out of the home is for every mom. That said if you know of only five people who are passionate about their jobs you are in the wrong circles...this is DC - I've honestly had more than 5 conversations on the metro alone with strangers passionate about their jobs - sheesh! Not everyone needs a "glamorous" job or even a "I'm saving the world" job to find interesting work.

Sad.

[Anonymous]

19:48, I'm surprised you don't know a fair number of people who work for reasons other than the money. I wouldn't work without being compensated adequately, but my family doesn't need my income. We bank 100% of my salary. My kids are all in school. I don't have enough self motivation to find other worthy ways to fill up my time during the 40 hours I work. Working makes me feel good.