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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
If you co-sleep with your toddler, what is your bedtime routine?
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Anonymous
| 21:02 here. It absolutely makes sense. As I said, we don't co-sleep, so my experience is not fully relevant to you. But I do know that my 15mo DD (and we did luck out with a good sleeper) often doesn't want to go to sleep right away either when she goes to bed. She's in a crib and sometimes she's asleep after 5 minutes, other times she's up for an hour. But she's not crying. She's "talking" quietly (sometimes I can't hear her on the monitor, only if I listen at the door), clapping, twisting her blankie, etc. Depending on how her day was, she seems to need different amounts of time to "unwind" (just as I do!) when she gets to bed. No matter how consistent our routine is with her, we put her to bed sleepy around the same time each night, but what happens from there is a wildly varying ballgame. Their worlds are so full now and they have a lot to process at the end of each day. So it makes sense to me that their sleep patterns are also moving around, much as ours do as adults as well. I hope that's helpful to you in some way, even if not directly responsive to your question. |
Anonymous
"night-time parenting"--wow. I agree that's nuts. It's like a PC term for not being the parent and letting the child be in control. |
Anonymous
It's nothing new people!! |
Anonymous
This is why a child's own bed makes sense at this point. Your child can wind down at his/her own pace. You can be the parent and decide when bedtime is, and if your child chooses to stay up and talk to herself or her stuffed animals, so be it. At least she's in a safe location and can't hurt herself. But you sitting in the bedroom with her in the bed coaxing her to sleep or cajoling her to sleep or forcing her to lie down (as the PP does with her sons) isn't helping anyone REST. Wouldn't you much rather be reading a good book in the other room with your evening? |
Anonymous
What's nothing new? Night-time parenting? Or the AP wackos? |
Anonymous
Listen asshole, go start your own thread and call it "what is night time parenting and why are AP people so wacko" and kindly let OP get actual answers. |
Anonymous
| We cosleeping and dc has been doing the same thing... soft sleepy music seems to calm dc better than anything else. For folks who judge cosleepers...why are you even reading this thread? It said "for cosleepers". I'm not getting on threads condemning those who CIO. Kids are different...parents have different beliefs,cultural norms and tolerance levels...sleep solutions aren't universal. I was coslept as a child, have happy memories of that, have coslept w dc as well as tried sleep training as dc got older, but in the end cosleeping feels most natural to us and we all sleep better. Eventually, dc will sleep in their own bed ...as did I and millions of other people who have coslept. Stop judging what you don't know. |
Anonymous
| I read to them beforehand and I end up sleeping with them (kids share room) on floor. I am so dead tired from the day that going to bed with them at 8 works for our house. I then get up in the middle of the night to go sleep with hubby. |
Anonymous
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Um... I read some of this thread but not all so forgive me if I'm repeating-- or if you've given up on getting help due to the annoying remarks.
Our daughter is almost 2 and she sleeps with us. Our bed is low to the ground, there is no worry about her falling out. We brush teeth, pajamas, some nights a bath. Usually my husband reads her a book(s) either in the LR or BR while I finish up whatever I'm doing (dishes, work, whatever). Then we say good night to the livingroom and I go nurse her. She is usually out like a light. If she seems wired and needs a cue we play her night time music. I think if you are not still nursing at night then, hmmmm, well I haven't crossed that bridge yet. It's been so easy just nursing. On nights I'm not home my husband does the same routine and reads her to sleep. I hope she'll let me do that to when we stop nursing. |
Anonymous
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If our daughter is resistant, I put her on my back and clean up the dinner dishes. There's no reward in it: it's boring for her and she falls asleep pretty fast after a few whines. Then I drop her off in our bed. This almost always works out well for everyone.
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Anonymous
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I'm sorry, I just don't get the broader point -- why do people co-sleep with toddler? I get co-sleeping with an infant/newborn, in fact, when my first was a newborn I co-slept for ease of breastfeeding.
But a toddler? Even if you are still nursing (and good on you, I'm not taking that on), why would you be nursing at night? They aren't still doing night feedings at 15 months, right? Seems to me that those who have responded that they co-sleep with toddlers have demonstrated that their "routine" has created a toddler who doesn't know how to (a) sleep through the night; and (b) wind themselves down and fall asleep. Perhaps folks should read Erica Jong's piece in the WSJ today on attachment parenting and how those expectations can make you do things that are a little crazy. So I hope the PP who is driving her 15 month old around at night in an effort to make co-sleeping work will realize that hey, life can be a little easier and everyone will survive and thrive. |
Anonymous
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"Agreed. What a routine and a dependency you've created! I can't tell from your writing if the 3 yo sleeps with you or the 15 m.o. or both? And then who sleeps with the kid when you put one of them in the car and drive around all night? THIS works for you?!? I can't imagine what a situation that DIDN'T work for you would be. Yes. I'm judging. "
Agree. Another "Tail wagging the dog works for me" story. |
Anonymous
Thanks for the tip - great essay. Here's the link for anyone else who wants to read it: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704462704575590603553674296.html. |
Anonymous
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Ooops, try this one instead, or just look for the 11/6 Saturday Essay on WSJ.com
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704462704575590603553674296.html?KEYWORDS=saturday+essay |
Anonymous
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"Eventually, dc will sleep in their own bed ...as did I and millions of other people who have coslept. Stop judging what you don't know. "
In my culture, only the poorest of the population co-sleep. |