If you co-sleep with your toddler, what is your bedtime routine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously the PPers are not co-sleepers and have no advice that will help you. Check out the foums at mothering.com. - forums are currently down for redesign. Check back soon. There is one specifically for co-sleeping and night-time parenting. They might have some ideas.

Here's what we do at our house. I part-time co-sleep. I nurse my 15mo to sleep. We do bath with 3YO brother. Read books with brother in a dimly lit room, 15 mo usually plays quietly with toys on the floor. By the time books are finished the 15mo usually shows signs of being tired. I play music for the 3Yo and take 15Mo into my bed and nurse him to sleep. There are time he doesn't want to sleep. I keep the lights off and minimize distractions. If he gets up, I keep laying him back down on the bed and softly repeat it's night-night time. Sometimes I sing. If he get's too upset, I bounce him on the yoga ball and that usually does it. Once big brother falls alseep, I move little bro to his crib. When he wakes up, I bring him into my bed and nurse him and he stays in bed with me the rest of the night. If I get truly desperate, I put him in the car and drive him around.

I know my routine will not work for every family but it works for us. Good luck.

I'm really a whatever works for you kind of gal, but man, if this is what "works" in your household--what a holy mess! I read this and just shudder.

Agreed. What a routine and a dependency you've created! I can't tell from your writing if the 3 yo sleeps with you or the 15 m.o. or both? And then who sleeps with the kid when you put one of them in the car and drive around all night? THIS works for you?!? I can't imagine what a situation that DIDN'T work for you would be. Yes. I'm judging.

[Anonymous]

"night-time parenting"

Oh, brother! This is really crazy.

[Anonymous]

Troll: we get it, you don't get us.

Can you go away now? You're really just having a conversation with yourself because nobody cares, and you're not going to convince anyone to give up something that works for THEM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously the PPers are not co-sleepers and have no advice that will help you. Check out the foums at mothering.com. - forums are currently down for redesign. Check back soon. There is one specifically for co-sleeping and night-time parenting. They might have some ideas.

Here's what we do at our house. I part-time co-sleep. I nurse my 15mo to sleep. We do bath with 3YO brother. Read books with brother in a dimly lit room, 15 mo usually plays quietly with toys on the floor. By the time books are finished the 15mo usually shows signs of being tired. I play music for the 3Yo and take 15Mo into my bed and nurse him to sleep. There are time he doesn't want to sleep. I keep the lights off and minimize distractions. If he gets up, I keep laying him back down on the bed and softly repeat it's night-night time. Sometimes I sing. If he get's too upset, I bounce him on the yoga ball and that usually does it. Once big brother falls alseep, I move little bro to his crib. When he wakes up, I bring him into my bed and nurse him and he stays in bed with me the rest of the night. If I get truly desperate, I put him in the car and drive him around.

I know my routine will not work for every family but it works for us. Good luck.

I'm really a whatever works for you kind of gal, but man, if this is what "works" in your household--what a holy mess! I read this and just shudder.

Agreed. What a routine and a dependency you've created! I can't tell from your writing if the 3 yo sleeps with you or the 15 m.o. or both? And then who sleeps with the kid when you put one of them in the car and drive around all night? THIS works for you?!? I can't imagine what a situation that DIDN'T work for you would be. Yes. I'm judging.

So glad I'm not the only one that thought this. I'm not quite sure you understand what the word "works" means because it seems pretty clear from your post that there's nothing that "works" about that situation. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously the PPers are not co-sleepers and have no advice that will help you. Check out the foums at mothering.com. - forums are currently down for redesign. Check back soon. There is one specifically for co-sleeping and night-time parenting. They might have some ideas.

Here's what we do at our house. I part-time co-sleep. I nurse my 15mo to sleep. We do bath with 3YO brother. Read books with brother in a dimly lit room, 15 mo usually plays quietly with toys on the floor. By the time books are finished the 15mo usually shows signs of being tired. I play music for the 3Yo and take 15Mo into my bed and nurse him to sleep. There are time he doesn't want to sleep. I keep the lights off and minimize distractions. If he gets up, I keep laying him back down on the bed and softly repeat it's night-night time. Sometimes I sing. If he get's too upset, I bounce him on the yoga ball and that usually does it. Once big brother falls alseep, I move little bro to his crib. When he wakes up, I bring him into my bed and nurse him and he stays in bed with me the rest of the night. If I get truly desperate, I put him in the car and drive him around.

I know my routine will not work for every family but it works for us. Good luck.

I'm really a whatever works for you kind of gal, but man, if this is what "works" in your household--what a holy mess! I read this and just shudder.

There but for the grace of God...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"night-time parenting"

Oh, brother! This is really crazy.

That line in her post didn't even register. Thank you for pointing it out. It's like all these attachment parenting wackos need to create a new term to deal with the fall-out of failing to teach their children to sleep independently, so no longer are the rest of who just parent during the day good enough because we're also not "night-time parenting.". Deep breath. I feel better. Those poor kids of hers, though, who are going to have such sleep issues their whole lives. Co-sleeping is one thing as long as everyone likes the arrangement. From the sound of it, it seems as though the kids are done with it - but she keeps pulling them back in with her.

[Anonymous]

Yep, I agree that something has got to give if you have to attempt several nursing sessions and occasionally need to drive your 15 month old around to get him to sleep at night. I wouldn't imagine that would be at all pleasant once the temps dip into freezing or it's raining at night.

The main issue is that this is time that should be filled by sleeping. If it takes you an hour to get your kid to sleep every night I'd have to think there would be a cumulative impact of lost sleep.

FWIW I co-slept with my oldest until he was 3. When he started the "I'm going to get out of bed instead of going to sleep" phase I put a quick stop to it. I just kept laying him back down until he finally relented. Yes, there was tears.....maybe this is the co-sleepers version of CIO?? But it didn't take too long for him to figure out that there's no getting around going to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Troll: we get it, you don't get us.

Can you go away now? You're really just having a conversation with yourself because nobody cares, and you're not going to convince anyone to give up something that works for THEM.

This is an anonymous forum. If you are directing your comment to a specific post you should really use the "quote" function.

[Anonymous]

We put DS in his crib at bedtime (between 7:30 and 8) - he usually wakes up sometime between 3 and 4, at which point we bring him into our bed ... he has started occasionally sleeping through the night in his own crib. When we're off work over the holidays, we're going to do modified CIO to get him to stay in his crib all night consistently (am already too sleep deprived to think about trying to do it while we're working)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We put DS in his crib at bedtime (between 7:30 and 8) - he usually wakes up sometime between 3 and 4, at which point we bring him into our bed ... he has started occasionally sleeping through the night in his own crib. When we're off work over the holidays, we're going to do modified CIO to get him to stay in his crib all night consistently (am already too sleep deprived to think about trying to do it while we're working)

Not sure why the smiley face appeared - should be eight pm

[Anonymous]

You probably should ask this question at the Mothering or Kelly Mom forum or some place where the majority of people responding will offer real help. It's amazing to me how quickly here it became people making assumptions/judgments about your parenting rather than giving you the advice you were seeking.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks to those who actually answered my question. Tonight actually went much better. I read to DD in the living room for a long time between bath and attempting to nurse her to sleep, and it worked! Let's hope it continues.

12:25 - You sound like a wonderful mom to me, and I'm sure that it shows in your boys. Please don't let these non-AP "wackos" get to you.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm not a co-sleeper, but I am curious about what your goal is here. Is it for 14mo to go to sleep easily and get a good night's rest? Does that have to happen in a co-sleeping arrangement for it to be OK? Are you open to other alternatives?

A co-sleeping friend finally moved her 1yo out of her bed into a crib, preparing for a really tough transition. It took one night and her DD LOVED having her own space. She's now a great sleeper, which has given the gift of sleep back to the whole household. (Well, until DS recently came along.)

I know co-sleepers do it for lots of reasons, that (I think) are really tied to the well-being of the child and the family. But if it's not working for either side, maybe it would be time to be open to some other options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14 month olds should be sleeping a crib, so that they can't get out.

Why do you sleep with your toddler??

I co sleep with my 18 month old and he's never "gotten out". It's a little person, not a dog.

[Anonymous]

21:02 - My goal is simply have a bedtime routine that ends with sleep! Since I put her to sleep on our bed rather than in a crib, I can't just leave her there if she doesn't want to sleep (and I wouldn't want to do this even if she was in a crib). So, I just wanted to know what others who co-sleep do when this happens.

I'm pretty sure that when DD wants to get up after nursing, it's because she is resisting sleep in general rather than resisting going to sleep on our bed. She sleeps great before we go to bed and when we are all in bed. So it's not that the co-sleeping isn't working for any of us. Just that DD doesn't want to go to sleep some nights. I hope that makes sense?