IVF embryo error, custody settlement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

People aren’t puppies. The biological mother is the mother. Genetics are WHO you are. It matters very much to a lot of adopted people. Growing up with people who look and sound and behave as you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

They didn’t just give the kid away, nor did they treat the baby as disposable. But way to make adopted kids feel like crap. Some of your people are so one dimensional. We have no idea how long ago the embryo was frozen or whether the bio parents were in a marital, physical, emotional or financial state to become parents again.

+1 People who have never been in this position don't know what they are talking about.

I myself used a donor egg and while my child may not be biologically genetically mine, he is my kid not some random egg donor's kid. Granted my kid is the same race as me but people suggesting the bio parents should claim custody are delusional. You don't know their family situation.

I'm glad the birth parents want the child enough and did not give her away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

People aren’t puppies. The biological mother is the mother. Genetics are WHO you are. It matters very much to a lot of adopted people. Growing up with people who look and sound and behave as you do.

Do genetics influence how you sound and behave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

So I guess your answer is no, I couldn’t imagine. Because plenty of people who were adopted have had similar internal dialogues. Would you respond to them with the same just genetics babble? Rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

That makes sense. It just doesn't compute otherwise.

[Anonymous]

I think I would have figured out that the child was not biologically my own since the child in this situation looked nothing like her parents.
She was much darker skin-toned.

But for the sake of my child, if I truly believed her parents loved her like their own, I would have let them keep her.

Because disrupting a happy family’s dynamic is not something I would want my legacy to be. ✨

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

No, it isn't just that simple. There will always be a biological pull and you can't take away tens of thousands of years of evolution. You can't magically erase that. It becomes even more complicated when a child is of a different race than the adoptive parents. It can be hard for a child of color to grow up with white parents and it makes it harder knowing you have parents and a biological sibling who looks like you do.

The couple who got custody never should have publicly identified themselves and certainly shouldn't have agreed to post a picture of their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

No, it isn't just that simple. There will always be a biological pull and you can't take away tens of thousands of years of evolution. You can't magically erase that. It becomes even more complicated when a child is of a different race than the adoptive parents. It can be hard for a child of color to grow up with white parents and it makes it harder knowing you have parents and a biological sibling who looks like you do.

The couple who got custody never should have publicly identified themselves and certainly shouldn't have agreed to post a picture of their family.

IMO, all these adults should be doing what is best FOR THE CHILD.

As soon as that baby was born they knew there was a mix-up. Once the DNA was done and bio parents were identified, truly selfless people would have given the bio parents THEIR baby.

Yes, the woman carried the embryo. Yes, it was absolutely gut-wrenching to have this happen. And no, just because the bio parents are identified and will keep in contact doesn't make it all right.

I cannot imagine the life this child will have when their visiting bio parents (and siblings?) come for a visit and then leave them behind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

No, it isn't just that simple. There will always be a biological pull and you can't take away tens of thousands of years of evolution. You can't magically erase that. It becomes even more complicated when a child is of a different race than the adoptive parents. It can be hard for a child of color to grow up with white parents and it makes it harder knowing you have parents and a biological sibling who looks like you do.

The couple who got custody never should have publicly identified themselves and certainly shouldn't have agreed to post a picture of their family.

Yeah a whole lot of Pollyannas here who think these things are simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

People aren’t puppies. The biological mother is the mother. Genetics are WHO you are. It matters very much to a lot of adopted people. Growing up with people who look and sound and behave as you do.

Totally disagree. Parenting means showing up, being there, actions not words. Bio has nothing to do with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

No, it isn't just that simple. There will always be a biological pull and you can't take away tens of thousands of years of evolution. You can't magically erase that. It becomes even more complicated when a child is of a different race than the adoptive parents. It can be hard for a child of color to grow up with white parents and it makes it harder knowing you have parents and a biological sibling who looks like you do.

The couple who got custody never should have publicly identified themselves and certainly shouldn't have agreed to post a picture of their family.

IMO, all these adults should be doing what is best FOR THE CHILD.

As soon as that baby was born they knew there was a mix-up. Once the DNA was done and bio parents were identified, truly selfless people would have given the bio parents THEIR baby.

Yes, the woman carried the embryo. Yes, it was absolutely gut-wrenching to have this happen. And no, just because the bio parents are identified and will keep in contact doesn't make it all right.

I cannot imagine the life this child will have when their visiting bio parents (and siblings?) come for a visit and then leave them behind.

It’s best for the child to remain with whatever their primary caregiver was since birth. They will likely have little to no connection with anyone except the parent they’ve bonded to since infancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

No, it isn't just that simple. There will always be a biological pull and you can't take away tens of thousands of years of evolution. You can't magically erase that. It becomes even more complicated when a child is of a different race than the adoptive parents. It can be hard for a child of color to grow up with white parents and it makes it harder knowing you have parents and a biological sibling who looks like you do.

The couple who got custody never should have publicly identified themselves and certainly shouldn't have agreed to post a picture of their family.

IMO, all these adults should be doing what is best FOR THE CHILD.

As soon as that baby was born they knew there was a mix-up. Once the DNA was done and bio parents were identified, truly selfless people would have given the bio parents THEIR baby.

Yes, the woman carried the embryo. Yes, it was absolutely gut-wrenching to have this happen. And no, just because the bio parents are identified and will keep in contact doesn't make it all right.

I cannot imagine the life this child will have when their visiting bio parents (and siblings?) come for a visit and then leave them behind.

It’s best for the child to remain with whatever their primary caregiver was since birth. They will likely have little to no connection with anyone except the parent they’ve bonded to since infancy.

What are you talking about? The minute this baby was born they knew there was an issue.

Within days, that NEWBORN's bio parents could have been identified and their baby returned to them. They obviously wanted the child or there wouldn't have been a custody issue.

I'll bet that money played a hand in this. Like it does with so many issues related to adoption in general. Perhaps the biological parents knew they couldn't out-gun the adoptive parents legally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone been following the story of the couple who mistakenly received an embryo that was not their own, then pursued custody after the infant (different race/ethnicity) was born? Amazingly they will have primary custody of the now six-month-old child. If I were the biological parents, I would not have been able to agree to that, but I guess I'm happy for the couple that it worked out the way they hoped.

https://people.com/couple-ivf-embryo-mixup-reach-custody-agreement-daughters-biological-parents-11998206

Remind me of this

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1311983.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't followed it all the way, but I remember being shocked that they located the biological parents and they didn't choose to sue for custody. I get why it's not the birth couple's fault, but I couldn't be so generous.

I went through IVF and I can't imagine being either couple in this scenario.

I think it was a very loving choice by the genetic parents. They didn't want to take a baby from the only family it has known or put parents who had bonded with and carried a baby through the pain of loss.

Well sure, I called it generous. I just couldn't do it.

+1

Maybe the couple "lucked out" in the sense that the biological parents had already completed their family, and it was a surplus embryo. We're not given any details but it could be something along those lines.

Is that actually lucky? Can you imagine being the biological couple’s other children and knowing that your parents would just give your siblings away? It would make me feel very disposable.

Could you imagine being the baby and when you grow up realizing your bio parents said, no thanks.

The bio mom whose egg was used is not a parent, never was
Neither is that child a sibling of some unknown person who they have never met.
It’s just genetics. Not ownership. People are not possessions

No, it isn't just that simple. There will always be a biological pull and you can't take away tens of thousands of years of evolution. You can't magically erase that. It becomes even more complicated when a child is of a different race than the adoptive parents. It can be hard for a child of color to grow up with white parents and it makes it harder knowing you have parents and a biological sibling who looks like you do.

The couple who got custody never should have publicly identified themselves and certainly shouldn't have agreed to post a picture of their family.

IMO, all these adults should be doing what is best FOR THE CHILD.

As soon as that baby was born they knew there was a mix-up. Once the DNA was done and bio parents were identified, truly selfless people would have given the bio parents THEIR baby.

Yes, the woman carried the embryo. Yes, it was absolutely gut-wrenching to have this happen. And no, just because the bio parents are identified and will keep in contact doesn't make it all right.

I cannot imagine the life this child will have when their visiting bio parents (and siblings?) come for a visit and then leave them behind.

It’s best for the child to remain with whatever their primary caregiver was since birth. They will likely have little to no connection with anyone except the parent they’ve bonded to since infancy.

What are you talking about? The minute this baby was born they knew there was an issue.

Within days, that NEWBORN's bio parents could have been identified and their baby returned to them. They obviously wanted the child or there wouldn't have been a custody issue.

I'll bet that money played a hand in this. Like it does with so many issues related to adoption in general. Perhaps the biological parents knew they couldn't out-gun the adoptive parents legally.

Apparently this was it. The law favors the parent who carried the child, which seems wrong to me. Heartrending for the biological parents--I can't imagine.

https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-15911703/embryo-custody-Tiffany-Score-Steven-Mills.html