Men and women who are 40+; what’s your dating experience like?

[Anonymous]

I'm 47, never married, no kids. I've been single for about 15 years. I dated quite a bit during my 30s but never met the right person. Once I hit 40 I realized I was enjoying my life and the whole dating thing was more trouble than it's worth. I haven't been on a date in over five years and don't see that changing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:40F here. I’ve found there’s no shortage of decent men who want to settle down. Attractive, successful, kind, etc.

The main issue I run into is that our lives just don’t align. I’m still in the thick of raising kids and building a career. Older men have slowed down and want someone who can travel a bunch with them; younger men want someone who can prioritize their career; men in my same situation are so busy we never really have time to meet.

You left out that the good ones are pretty much already taken. If everything else in your life is a higher priority than your relationship, you can't expect to be taken seriously by a man who is looking for one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:40F here. I’ve found there’s no shortage of decent men who want to settle down. Attractive, successful, kind, etc.

The main issue I run into is that our lives just don’t align. I’m still in the thick of raising kids and building a career. Older men have slowed down and want someone who can travel a bunch with them; younger men want someone who can prioritize their career; men in my same situation are so busy we never really have time to meet.

You left out that the good ones are pretty much already taken. If everything else in your life is a higher priority than your relationship, you can't expect to be taken seriously by a man who is looking for one.

In my experience, the good ones aren’t all taken. There are tons of men in their 30s/40s who prioritized their career and now want to settle down, or who married too young and got a divorce but are otherwise good guys.

I’m okay if men don’t take me seriously because I can’t put them #1. They’re entitled to their preferences. However, I absolutely need someone who understands my kids come first, and my career comes second, because I don’t want to be financially dependent on anyone. If they can’t understand that, no problem, but we aren’t a match.

I have a couple friends who remarried men that financially support them while they handle the domestic work for both sets of kids, and overall they’re struggling financially and are extremely stressed out. Not interested in that life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 47, never married, no kids. I've been single for about 15 years. I dated quite a bit during my 30s but never met the right person. Once I hit 40 I realized I was enjoying my life and the whole dating thing was more trouble than it's worth. I haven't been on a date in over five years and don't see that changing.

. This sounds biological. When you hit 40 you were in early menopause or pero menopause, or at.least your hormonal balance changed. It's easy for anyone not to want to bother with dating if you have no libido anymore. It's just as well there's no point in deliberately cultivating a dead bedroom relationship.

[Anonymous]

All these people who claim that playing the field makes them super happy — it’s so lame. Isn’t monogamy (or serial monogamy) a much better way to live for well-adjusted mature adult people? Look at the rich and famous — the happy ones have found love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these people who claim that playing the field makes them super happy — it’s so lame. Isn’t monogamy (or serial monogamy) a much better way to live for well-adjusted mature adult people? Look at the rich and famous — the happy ones have found love.

Umm....No.

Too many gold diggers, controlling bitter Karens out there. It starts out great but then goes downhill. No Thanks! I prefer peace but enjoy the sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:47M here - It's been adult Disneyland for me.

Must be tall and rich.

Not tall, average 5' 10". I am wealthy but they don't know that until they come to my house. Then it's hard to keep it a secret.

Are they wealthy/own houses?

Only one woman I dated was/seemed wealthy and owned a very nice home but that relationship didn't last. Some were doing well financially as far as I could tell and either rented or owned, and a few seemed to be just getting by and rented/owned. Their financial position wasn't really a factor for me.

Your financial position is clearly a factor for thee willingness to have sex quickly. They think you are a meal ticket to nicer lifestyle. Women who don’t think so /wealthy on their own won’t rush to bed before getting to know you well and if you are worthy to be added to their close circle

That's fine with me. They can "think" all they like. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship. More trouble than it's worth. Like I said, it's been adult Disneyland. So many women out there looking to have fun and not wanting a meal ticket. I'm monogamous when I'm with them but nothing has lasted and I'm ok with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is it like for you?

I was amazed at how quickly everyone was DTF and by the complete absence of any expectation for protection.

I once had a first date with a woman. Midway through it, she handed me a printout for a Hampton Inn reservation and a room.

Mind you, I'm no stud. But I have all my teeth, all my hair, am relatively trim, and am gainfully employed.

I also had a few dates where it was clear nothing physical was going to happen, but more often than not, genitals were getting wet by the first or second date. It was wild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it like for you?

I was amazed at how quickly everyone was DTF and by the complete absence of any expectation for protection.

I once had a first date with a woman. Midway through it, she handed me a printout for a Hampton Inn reservation and a room.

Mind you, I'm no stud. But I have all my teeth, all my hair, am relatively trim, and am gainfully employed.

I also had a few dates where it was clear nothing physical was going to happen, but more often than not, genitals were getting wet by the first or second date. It was wild.

BS. You post this all the time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:40F here. I’ve found there’s no shortage of decent men who want to settle down. Attractive, successful, kind, etc.

The main issue I run into is that our lives just don’t align. I’m still in the thick of raising kids and building a career. Older men have slowed down and want someone who can travel a bunch with them; younger men want someone who can prioritize their career; men in my same situation are so busy we never really have time to meet.

You left out that the good ones are pretty much already taken. If everything else in your life is a higher priority than your relationship, you can't expect to be taken seriously by a man who is looking for one.

In my experience, the good ones aren’t all taken. There are tons of men in their 30s/40s who prioritized their career and now want to settle down, or who married too young and got a divorce but are otherwise good guys.

I’m okay if men don’t take me seriously because I can’t put them #1. They’re entitled to their preferences. However, I absolutely need someone who understands my kids come first, and my career comes second, because I don’t want to be financially dependent on anyone. If they can’t understand that, no problem, but we aren’t a match.

I have a couple friends who remarried men that financially support them while they handle the domestic work for both sets of kids, and overall they’re struggling financially and are extremely stressed out. Not interested in that life.

PP, how can you expect men to take you seriously when you are not taking them seriously? According to you, they come #3 in your priority so you would be #3 or 4 in the their priority too. Some people don't want to put efforts for relationship and then complain that men or women or whatever circumstances are not good

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these people who claim that playing the field makes them super happy — it’s so lame. Isn’t monogamy (or serial monogamy) a much better way to live for well-adjusted mature adult people? Look at the rich and famous — the happy ones have found love.

Sure maybe. But in the interim it’s fun to have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:47M here - It's been adult Disneyland for me.

Must be tall and rich.

Not tall, average 5' 10". I am wealthy but they don't know that until they come to my house. Then it's hard to keep it a secret.

Are they wealthy/own houses?

Only one woman I dated was/seemed wealthy and owned a very nice home but that relationship didn't last. Some were doing well financially as far as I could tell and either rented or owned, and a few seemed to be just getting by and rented/owned. Their financial position wasn't really a factor for me.

Your financial position is clearly a factor for thee willingness to have sex quickly. They think you are a meal ticket to nicer lifestyle. Women who don’t think so /wealthy on their own won’t rush to bed before getting to know you well and if you are worthy to be added to their close circle

That's fine with me. They can "think" all they like. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship. More trouble than it's worth. Like I said, it's been adult Disneyland. So many women out there looking to have fun and not wanting a meal ticket. I'm monogamous when I'm with them but nothing has lasted and I'm ok with that.

50F. fine with me, but you better bring it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:40F here. I’ve found there’s no shortage of decent men who want to settle down. Attractive, successful, kind, etc.

The main issue I run into is that our lives just don’t align. I’m still in the thick of raising kids and building a career. Older men have slowed down and want someone who can travel a bunch with them; younger men want someone who can prioritize their career; men in my same situation are so busy we never really have time to meet.

You left out that the good ones are pretty much already taken. If everything else in your life is a higher priority than your relationship, you can't expect to be taken seriously by a man who is looking for one.

In my experience, the good ones aren’t all taken. There are tons of men in their 30s/40s who prioritized their career and now want to settle down, or who married too young and got a divorce but are otherwise good guys.

I’m okay if men don’t take me seriously because I can’t put them #1. They’re entitled to their preferences. However, I absolutely need someone who understands my kids come first, and my career comes second, because I don’t want to be financially dependent on anyone. If they can’t understand that, no problem, but we aren’t a match.

I have a couple friends who remarried men that financially support them while they handle the domestic work for both sets of kids, and overall they’re struggling financially and are extremely stressed out. Not interested in that life.

PP, how can you expect men to take you seriously when you are not taking them seriously? According to you, they come #3 in your priority so you would be #3 or 4 in the their priority too. Some people don't want to put efforts for relationship and then complain that men or women or whatever circumstances are not good

That’s okay with me. I would be a bad mother if I put a boyfriend ahead of my kids.

My career comes first because I wasted too much time in my youth prioritizing men who promised things like marriage but never actually followed through. And I’ve seen too many women who prioritized the man and his career, and were screwed years later when they divorced.

I’m okay with being single. I would rather be single and play the field, than prematurely give up parts of my life for a man who ultimately doesn’t stick around. I’m also 40 and have no intention of having more kids, so it’s not practical for me to expect a man to financially support me (nor do I want them to).

[Anonymous]

Late 40s woman . I’m not attracted to 99% men I meet I always find what’s wrong with them . I tried sleeping with several partners out of hope they will grow on me . But feel nothing .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s woman . I’m not attracted to 99% men I meet I always find what’s wrong with them . I tried sleeping with several partners out of hope they will grow on me . But feel nothing .

Call me.