When your spouse becomes a fitness freak

[Anonymous]

This is so amazing. Good for your DH! He’s staying healthy and modeling how to stay healthy for your children. I don’t see the down side. Enjoy him!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so amazing. Good for your DH! He’s staying healthy and modeling how to stay healthy for your children. I don’t see the down side. Enjoy him!

You don’t see the downside of a father getting competitive with his teenage sons and refusing to let them win?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so amazing. Good for your DH! He’s staying healthy and modeling how to stay healthy for your children. I don’t see the down side. Enjoy him!

You don’t see the downside of a father getting competitive with his teenage sons and refusing to let them win?

No. Eventually they will win. But it will be earned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so amazing. Good for your DH! He’s staying healthy and modeling how to stay healthy for your children. I don’t see the down side. Enjoy him!

You don’t see the downside of a father getting competitive with his teenage sons and refusing to let them win?

No. Eventually they will win. But it will be earned.

😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is so amazing. Good for your DH! He’s staying healthy and modeling how to stay healthy for your children. I don’t see the down side. Enjoy him!

You don’t see the downside of a father getting competitive with his teenage sons and refusing to let them win?

No. Eventually they will win. But it will be earned.

Uh huh.
You’ve never met a dad who didn’t allow his son to be stronger than him or a mom who didn’t allow her daughter to be prettier than her?

I’m pretty sure I have heard a story about this somewhere…

[Anonymous]

This will never change. Fat people really hate it when someone else prioritizes health and get in shape.

[Anonymous]

You ought to go to the gym too OP.

[Anonymous]

There are multiple issues there.

First, most people are very out of shape at 50. If he is this in shape, for whatever reason, it is a good thing, and that sets a positive example for your sons. The toxic body obsession (modeled by extremists like this Clavicular guy for example) is a separate conversation. Mere vanity does not = body obsession. And focusing on health does not = vanity. All of this is a conversation your family can (and probably should) be having.

You say you are concerned he resents you not being in this “craze” with him — but is this really about him resenting your weight/level of fitness? Or, you resenting how you do not have the same level of fitness and feeling insecure and projecting that by calling him a “freak” in a “craze”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will never change. Fat people really hate it when someone else prioritizes health and get in shape.

Truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was off and on coming for about 4 years where DH would get in good shape for the summer as we spent mist of it at the beach house with our kids.

Now they are teens and both boys are into some form of sport.
it is almost a competition it seems…he has almost a 6 pack at 50.

I am not sure but while I think it is great he is in shape it is not for any sport or hobby. He admits at his age it pure vanity driven and that he feels it sets a good example of discipline and hard work.

But with teens I am concerned (especially for our boys) that there is already a boy trend on body image and hyper masculinity that he is just reinforcing body image insecurity and….vanity?

Also I cannot help but think he resents me in some way for not being as into the health craze as he is.

He has someone other than you interested in him. Take it from experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This was off and on coming for about 4 years where DH would get in good shape for the summer as we spent mist of it at the beach house with our kids.

Now they are teens and both boys are into some form of sport.
it is almost a competition it seems…he has almost a 6 pack at 50.

I am not sure but while I think it is great he is in shape it is not for any sport or hobby. He admits at his age it pure vanity driven and that he feels it sets a good example of discipline and hard work.

But with teens I am concerned (especially for our boys) that there is already a boy trend on body image and hyper masculinity that he is just reinforcing body image insecurity and….vanity?

Also I cannot help but think he resents me in some way for not being as into the health craze as he is.

He has someone other than you interested in him. Take it from experience

.

If he has been semi-serious for 4 years and just happens to get more consistent with it seems like a gradual build up.

It’s not like he just hoped on a GLP and bought a corvette or something.

At that age injury is probably more likely than anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This will never change. Fat people really hate it when someone else prioritizes health and get in shape.

This isn't 1990. I have so many formerly fat friends who are skinnier than ever. It's called GLP-1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably prioritize getting in shape if you want to stay married.

This. I've seen it happen to friends. Get yourself fit, hot, and confident.

I have seen women do this pre-divorce/prior to an affair.

Men not so much.

And I've seen women go through this "pre-divorce" and then end up having their husbands wake up and show up again. I wish it weren't the case, but men...

[Anonymous]

GLP is not giving any 50 year old (male or female) a 6 pack. By that age most peoples ab muscles have literally split and separated unless you have been exercising somewhat regularly your entire life.

You still obviously have them, but still building them and define them is seriously very rare at over 50.

Fat people on GLP still have to have all their excess skin removed to look half decent in a swimsuit or something. Forget about abs or muscle definition anytime soon.

I see people that age on instagram who are shredded, but they are like fitness consultants you hire.

[Anonymous]

Happened to me, and he was going to gym to meet women. It’s a bad sign, op.