When your spouse becomes a fitness freak

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was off and on coming for about 4 years where DH would get in good shape for the summer as we spent mist of it at the beach house with our kids.

Now they are teens and both boys are into some form of sport.
it is almost a competition it seems…he has almost a 6 pack at 50.

I am not sure but while I think it is great he is in shape it is not for any sport or hobby. He admits at his age it pure vanity driven and that he feels it sets a good example of discipline and hard work.

But with teens I am concerned (especially for our boys) that there is already a boy trend on body image and hyper masculinity that he is just reinforcing body image insecurity and….vanity?

Also I cannot help but think he resents me in some way for not being as into the health craze as he is.

If he has not mentioned you are fine. If you feel you can work out more, just do it. Not a big problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“My hot wife is also a great cook. Should I be concerned?”

There are hundreds of threads with men complaining that their wives are too good at housework and being on top of the kids stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just make sure he's not taking all the crazy peptides/research chemicals as a shortcut

Why, that nutcase RFK, who is in a tanning bed everyday says they're good for us? Did you see his workout video with KidRock? It was AI but it was so funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was off and on coming for about 4 years where DH would get in good shape for the summer as we spent mist of it at the beach house with our kids.

Now they are teens and both boys are into some form of sport.
it is almost a competition it seems…he has almost a 6 pack at 50.

I am not sure but while I think it is great he is in shape it is not for any sport or hobby. He admits at his age it pure vanity driven and that he feels it sets a good example of discipline and hard work.

But with teens I am concerned (especially for our boys) that there is already a boy trend on body image and hyper masculinity that he is just reinforcing body image insecurity and….vanity?

Also I cannot help but think he resents me in some way for not being as into the health craze as he is.

Affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“My hot wife is also a great cook. Should I be concerned?”

If your 50 year old wife prides herself on being hotter than your teenaged daughter then maybe you should be concerned.
I don’t know what you are going to do about it though.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably prioritize getting in shape if you want to stay married.

[Anonymous]

The reality is people who work out extremely, run marathon, do CrossFit, do Iron Man have a higher rate of mental illnesses.

Has he always been high anxiety or is there some mental illness that he’s trying to stave away?

Has he always been insecure?

[Anonymous]

I'm 50. Fortunately I have a home gym. I'd love to finally get back under 200 and get myself to a flat stomach with some fitness physique. I'm working on it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reality is people who work out extremely, run marathon, do CrossFit, do Iron Man have a higher rate of mental illnesses.

Has he always been high anxiety or is there some mental illness that he’s trying to stave away?

Has he always been insecure?

Very much a correlation/causation thing there FYI. It's also one of the best treatments for said mental issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jesus christ. I’ll trade places with you if you want.

Sheesh, enjoy it. Plus it sounds like your boys are not morbidly overweight like most of America.
Your husband is modeling a healthy male role model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he spending so much time on fitness that he is ignoring other priorities (work, family time, family responsibilities)?

Is he criticizing anyone else for not doing what he does?

If not, then he's not doing anything wrong. Let him be.

If he was, say, an obsessive pianist, would you get upset with him because he was setting an unreasonable standard for excellent piano playing?

We have a home gym so does not impact anything at home.

I think it is more of the boys challenging him to arm wrestle (or actually wrestle as one of ours does that for his sport). He will do it sometimes with them and they will talk trash but normally lose to him.

He does not criticize anyone - but when one of the boys may claim there arm is bigger or something he does not placate them.

Our daughter will sometimes run with him.

This is healthy. Embrace it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reality is people who work out extremely, run marathon, do CrossFit, do Iron Man have a higher rate of mental illnesses.

Has he always been high anxiety or is there some mental illness that he’s trying to stave away?

Has he always been insecure?

Very much a correlation/causation thing there FYI. It's also one of the best treatments for said mental issues.

Working out yes

Being extreme no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably prioritize getting in shape if you want to stay married.

This. I've seen it happen to friends. Get yourself fit, hot, and confident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was off and on coming for about 4 years where DH would get in good shape for the summer as we spent mist of it at the beach house with our kids.

Now they are teens and both boys are into some form of sport.
it is almost a competition it seems…he has almost a 6 pack at 50.

I am not sure but while I think it is great he is in shape it is not for any sport or hobby. He admits at his age it pure vanity driven and that he feels it sets a good example of discipline and hard work.

But with teens I am concerned (especially for our boys) that there is already a boy trend on body image and hyper masculinity that he is just reinforcing body image insecurity and….vanity?

Also I cannot help but think he resents me in some way for not being as into the health craze as he is.

Maybe you and the woman complaining about her husband not getting in shape for their vacation should switch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably prioritize getting in shape if you want to stay married.

This. I've seen it happen to friends. Get yourself fit, hot, and confident.

I have seen women do this pre-divorce/prior to an affair.

Men not so much.