What’s it like for a SAHM after kids go to collegr

[Anonymous]

OP— you are in a great position because you can get literally any job you want and not worry about the pay. If I were in your position I would pursue my dream job— which does not pay enough to support a family.

[Anonymous]

There is a lot of stimulating work that you can do in the community as a volunteer, take classes, and then really be available for your grandkids. How amazing would that be!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP— you are in a great position because you can get literally any job you want and not worry about the pay. If I were in your position I would pursue my dream job— which does not pay enough to support a family.

And what is that? Is it easy to start it as a 50 something year old with no previous experience in the field?

[Anonymous]

I’d volunteer and take up new hobbies.

[Anonymous]

I stayed home when my 3 were little. Went back when they ranged from early elementary to middle school. Went fine for awhile and the money was valuable to us (more so than it sounds like it would be for you). However, I'd very gladly be SAHM permanently if money were no object. After that initial period of calm, as the kids have entered HS ages, it has become very hard to juggle it all. Now the oldest is a junior, and the middle is also in high school, and everything has really intensified. You expect the independence will bring you more free time for the parents, but that hasn't been the case. For example, did you know some school sports don't practice immediately after school? So DC comes home on the bus, then needs to be driven back at like 4 pm EVERY DAY for practice (and picked up 2 hours later). Also, when they have their learner's permit, you are required to do 45 hours of driving with them. This is more than an hour a week. Sure they can drive when you're headed somewhere anyway, but for us, this never adds up to enough and it was a lot of work to get them all the driving experience. And now we're ramping up with college stuff, and I honestly don't know when we're supposed to go on campus visits with 3 kids and 2 working parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, so your youngest is 8. You have a long time before all your kids "go to college". What are you asking, exactly? I'm not buying into this as a sincere post.

I have two teens who will both be in college in 4 years. My 8yo will be 12 then.

While I am still very busy juggling these kids now, I won’t be very busy after the next few years.

No you’ll be busy with your 12 yo who cannot drive, has activities, and the high school BS that you’ve been through already.


The difference is you’ll be in (peri)menopause, have sore joints, and a high earning husband who’s looking at the younger women with whom he works.

[Anonymous]

What’s it like? Beautiful bliss.

[Anonymous]

I would love to volunteer at various places as well as cultivate hobbies and work out!
I would volunteer at a non-profit near us and maybe Children’s and a school. My child had a lot at Childrens so I would be content doing whatever there. At most nonprofits I would or ably be asked to help with administration bc that is my background, but would enjoy more client facing engagement. I look forward to traveling with my husband and working out more.
I was and am a STAH mom full time till the kids were in elementary and have been part-time since then. Now working to pay for private school and college so I may go back full time for two in college. Also juggling elder care at a distance with frequent visits.

[Anonymous]

My daughter (only child) is a sophomore in college and it has been interesting to see the different ways that those of us who no longer have kids at home have been experiencing the change.

My impression is that everyone is rediscovering who they are. The ones whose lives were totally focused on kids are having a harder time figuring that out. So maybe just stay aware of what you enjoy, what you value, what gives you passion, etc.? And find ways to be connected and active in those areas. It doesn’t have to be a paying job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found that online classes to get trained in a new career has helped me.

My background is in finance. My friends are now very senior. I will likely earn less than what I earned fresh out of grad school in investment banking.

Similar situation here. I took 15 years away from career to pursue an adjacent career and SAHM.
Then I went back to original career and am 15 years behind my peers.
Feel lucky that I was still able to get back in but 12 years afterwards (in my 50s) it's tough. But it's also tough for my peers unless they are running their own businesses - which is pretty much the capstone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you’ll be…50/60+ when your last leaves?

Start a sewing circle ma’am

The workplace won’t have room for you

+ 1

[Anonymous]

At 7 figures, I would not return to work unless I loved what I did.

[Anonymous]

Every time I read about the 7 figure earning husband I wonder if it’s the same poster. The amount is hardly ever relevant but maybe it’s fun to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time I read about the 7 figure earning husband I wonder if it’s the same poster. The amount is hardly ever relevant but maybe it’s fun to say.

It is ridiculous to include, but I've also been shocked to learn how many people actually earn 7 figures out here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found that online classes to get trained in a new career has helped me.

My background is in finance. My friends are now very senior. I will likely earn less than what I earned fresh out of grad school in investment banking.

🍪?