Why is it harder to get a man to commit the older you get?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

_ex

Sorry, not interested in a _very_ _expensive_ call girl.

Call girls don’t do the laundry, run interference with your crazy sister when your mom is in the hospital, make your favorite dinner for your birthday, and run your social life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

If you’re over 40, you really should not be looking for a man to support you. Presumably you’re not having kids or you have them already, so you won’t becoming a SAHM.

I say this as a woman. I’d feel utterly pathetic going on dates with men if I didn’t have a career at 40 and had to beg one to take care of me.

There are plenty of very attractive women with interesting careers that just don’t make a lot of money who don’t need to beg at all. You might have to beg. But attractive, interesting women do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the opposite. The number of divorced men who want to jump into the next marriage asap is creepy. It's like they're racing their ex to the altar. Maybe it's an ego thing - to prove they weren't the problem in the last marriage.

If you mean highly attractive, desirable men with good personalities, then they're probably confirmed bachelors. It's really hard to imagine changing your whole life for a person the longer you've actually lived that life.

I’m not sure that it is an ego thing, so much as it is a hmm-there-is-no-dinner-ready-and-no-one-planned-holiday-decorations-and-I-am-going-on-travel-for-work-and-have-no-clean-socks thing. Even if it isn’t this conscious, there has been a downgrade in lifestyle that they didn’t see coming— because they didn’t pay any attention to how much work their wife was doing. Probably part of why they got divorced in the first place. So you probably don’t want one of these.

Yea, you don’t want my exH. He cheated on me with a work colleague and used to poke me for a lesser career than his. She dumped him right after our divorce.
Guess what ? He’s back to playing house with a woman who is like me. Even lesser career, but cooks and cleans for him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

If you’re over 40, you really should not be looking for a man to support you. Presumably you’re not having kids or you have them already, so you won’t becoming a SAHM.

I say this as a woman. I’d feel utterly pathetic going on dates with men if I didn’t have a career at 40 and had to beg one to take care of me.

There are plenty of very attractive women with interesting careers that just don’t make a lot of money who don’t need to beg at all. You might have to beg. But attractive, interesting women do not.

No woman over 40 is attractive enough to pull a rich man while not having her own career. 25, sure. 45, nobody is touching that mess. And that goes for men and women. At some point you need to grow up and stop looking for someone to rescue you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

If you’re over 40, you really should not be looking for a man to support you. Presumably you’re not having kids or you have them already, so you won’t becoming a SAHM.

I say this as a woman. I’d feel utterly pathetic going on dates with men if I didn’t have a career at 40 and had to beg one to take care of me.

There are plenty of very attractive women with interesting careers that just don’t make a lot of money who don’t need to beg at all. You might have to beg. But attractive, interesting women do not.

Good lord. Another SAHM no doubt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

If you’re over 40, you really should not be looking for a man to support you. Presumably you’re not having kids or you have them already, so you won’t becoming a SAHM.

I say this as a woman. I’d feel utterly pathetic going on dates with men if I didn’t have a career at 40 and had to beg one to take care of me.

There are plenty of very attractive women with interesting careers that just don’t make a lot of money who don’t need to beg at all. You might have to beg. But attractive, interesting women do not.

No woman over 40 is attractive enough to pull a rich man while not having her own career. 25, sure. 45, nobody is touching that mess. And that goes for men and women. At some point you need to grow up and stop looking for someone to rescue you.

Agreed. But didn’t OP say they are in their 30s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

If you’re over 40, you really should not be looking for a man to support you. Presumably you’re not having kids or you have them already, so you won’t becoming a SAHM.

I say this as a woman. I’d feel utterly pathetic going on dates with men if I didn’t have a career at 40 and had to beg one to take care of me.

There are plenty of very attractive women with interesting careers that just don’t make a lot of money who don’t need to beg at all. You might have to beg. But attractive, interesting women do not.

Good lord. Another SAHM no doubt.

PP. Nope. I’m a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the opposite. The number of divorced men who want to jump into the next marriage asap is creepy. It's like they're racing their ex to the altar. Maybe it's an ego thing - to prove they weren't the problem in the last marriage.

If you mean highly attractive, desirable men with good personalities, then they're probably confirmed bachelors. It's really hard to imagine changing your whole life for a person the longer you've actually lived that life.

I’m not sure that it is an ego thing, so much as it is a hmm-there-is-no-dinner-ready-and-no-one-planned-holiday-decorations-and-I-am-going-on-travel-for-work-and-have-no-clean-socks thing. Even if it isn’t this conscious, there has been a downgrade in lifestyle that they didn’t see coming— because they didn’t pay any attention to how much work their wife was doing. Probably part of why they got divorced in the first place. So you probably don’t want one of these.

Oh, of course, all of that makes sense. No man who got dumped by his last wife and is already looking to jump into a new marriage with no attempt to have learned anything is worthwhile. I sidestep all of these types of men. I am just pointing out that there are a lot of them. I have actually encountered more divorced men like this than divorced men who don't want to settle down.

[Anonymous]

Really, all the good ones marry in their mid-late 20s/early 30s and stay married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

_ex

Sorry, not interested in a _very_ _expensive_ call girl.

Call girls don’t do the laundry, run interference with your crazy sister when your mom is in the hospital, make your favorite dinner for your birthday, and run your social life.

You’re over valuing being a human.

Laundry? lol. Is my mom in the hospital every week?

Make dinner for my birthday are you kidding? I’m probably in NY with friends.

Run a social life, omg I golf every Saturday to flee your silliness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

If you’re over 40, you really should not be looking for a man to support you. Presumably you’re not having kids or you have them already, so you won’t becoming a SAHM.

I say this as a woman. I’d feel utterly pathetic going on dates with men if I didn’t have a career at 40 and had to beg one to take care of me.

There are plenty of very attractive women with interesting careers that just don’t make a lot of money who don’t need to beg at all. You might have to beg. But attractive, interesting women do not.

No woman over 40 is attractive enough to pull a rich man while not having her own career. 25, sure. 45, nobody is touching that mess. And that goes for men and women. At some point you need to grow up and stop looking for someone to rescue you.

As a woman, I’m perfectly able to take care of myself since age 25. It’s totally reasonable to expect financial stability from any candidate for a serious relationship regardless of their age. A woman should ability to finance her basic housing, a car, education and regular vacations.
Financial stability for a man in his 40-50s is ability not to count beans for drinks concerts and outings on initial non-exclusive stages of dating. I look for someone whose lifestyle matches mine.

I will never understand the extremes when an older man takes on board an early professional woman who makes very little. It’s a recipe for a financial disaster for him in retirement

[Anonymous]

The old addage, why "buy the cow" still hold true for some men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

If you’re over 40, you really should not be looking for a man to support you. Presumably you’re not having kids or you have them already, so you won’t becoming a SAHM.

I say this as a woman. I’d feel utterly pathetic going on dates with men if I didn’t have a career at 40 and had to beg one to take care of me.

There are plenty of very attractive women with interesting careers that just don’t make a lot of money who don’t need to beg at all. You might have to beg. But attractive, interesting women do not.

No woman over 40 is attractive enough to pull a rich man while not having her own career. 25, sure. 45, nobody is touching that mess. And that goes for men and women. At some point you need to grow up and stop looking for someone to rescue you.

As a woman, I’m perfectly able to take care of myself since age 25. It’s totally reasonable to expect financial stability from any candidate for a serious relationship regardless of their age. A woman should ability to finance her basic housing, a car, education and regular vacations.
Financial stability for a man in his 40-50s is ability not to count beans for drinks concerts and outings on initial non-exclusive stages of dating. I look for someone whose lifestyle matches mine.

I will never understand the extremes when an older man takes on board an early professional woman who makes very little. It’s a recipe for a financial disaster for him in retirement

It's worse for her if they marry, because absent sudden death, the assets that get sunk into end of life care almost always leave the living spouse somewhat destitute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of divorced 40s men who would like a late 30s woman to step in and play mommy to them and their kids because they can’t make it on their own.

Horseshit.

They are wary of the women desperate to be taken care of financially, though.

Guy here. If you are unable to support yourself, I am not looking for another mouth to feed

And you know how women love a man who's not protective at all, can't support her and is selfish. Good luck on the dating market- men like you lose.

If you’re over 40, you really should not be looking for a man to support you. Presumably you’re not having kids or you have them already, so you won’t becoming a SAHM.

I say this as a woman. I’d feel utterly pathetic going on dates with men if I didn’t have a career at 40 and had to beg one to take care of me.

There are plenty of very attractive women with interesting careers that just don’t make a lot of money who don’t need to beg at all. You might have to beg. But attractive, interesting women do not.

No woman over 40 is attractive enough to pull a rich man while not having her own career. 25, sure. 45, nobody is touching that mess. And that goes for men and women. At some point you need to grow up and stop looking for someone to rescue you.

As a woman, I’m perfectly able to take care of myself since age 25. It’s totally reasonable to expect financial stability from any candidate for a serious relationship regardless of their age. A woman should ability to finance her basic housing, a car, education and regular vacations.
Financial stability for a man in his 40-50s is ability not to count beans for drinks concerts and outings on initial non-exclusive stages of dating. I look for someone whose lifestyle matches mine.

I will never understand the extremes when an older man takes on board an early professional woman who makes very little. It’s a recipe for a financial disaster for him in retirement

It's worse for her if they marry, because absent sudden death, the assets that get sunk into end of life care almost always leave the living spouse somewhat destitute.

In my opinion by current dmv standards only wealthy men with NW of over $10m can afford to marry a woman 15+ years younger without assets of her own.
And only a stupid young woman would marry a man like that without a guarantee of at least $1m cash payout fir every 3 years of marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the opposite. The number of divorced men who want to jump into the next marriage asap is creepy. It's like they're racing their ex to the altar. Maybe it's an ego thing - to prove they weren't the problem in the last marriage.

If you mean highly attractive, desirable men with good personalities, then they're probably confirmed bachelors. It's really hard to imagine changing your whole life for a person the longer you've actually lived that life.

I’m not sure that it is an ego thing, so much as it is a hmm-there-is-no-dinner-ready-and-no-one-planned-holiday-decorations-and-I-am-going-on-travel-for-work-and-have-no-clean-socks thing. Even if it isn’t this conscious, there has been a downgrade in lifestyle that they didn’t see coming— because they didn’t pay any attention to how much work their wife was doing. Probably part of why they got divorced in the first place. So you probably don’t want one of these.

Oh, of course, all of that makes sense. No man who got dumped by his last wife and is already looking to jump into a new marriage with no attempt to have learned anything is worthwhile. I sidestep all of these types of men. I am just pointing out that there are a lot of them. I have actually encountered more divorced men like this than divorced men who don't want to settle down.

This is exactly my situation and my ex.