Boyfriend gave terrible gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should have specified that the water bottle had something like tea or juice in it. Definitely not water.

I will stay out of it and not say anything to her. I’ll keep my judgmental thoughts to myself!

Yeah, this is trashy. Cannot believe people are defending this. As a mom, I’d keep my comments to myself- and hope this is a short lived relationship. Even for a teen- this is a bad move and shows he is an idiot

+100

She's not entitled to a gift, but if he chooses to give one, it has to be a reasonable gift... not a used, unwashed water bottle, good grief. Or even a used washed one. Come on.

He's still learning, but he won't learn unless she tells him this isn't acceptable to give your girlfriend essentially a piece of trash (I know, I know, someone will reply and say "Oh, people on my buy nothing group grab these all the time!). And I wouldn't want DD to learn that she must accept any piece of crap because it's from a guy and he's just trying. It sounds like he didn't know what to give her so just grabbed his mom's water bottle!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 months of dating is not cause for roses and jewelry. You are way too judgmental.

She's way too involved. Op you are ridiculous. What are you doing being involved in this? It's not like they're getting married or anything. He's a hs boyfriend. Sheeesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say anything. BUT, giving someone a used water bottle as a gift is gross. I highly doubt he rinsed it out before giving it to her, if it were in fact new.

Maybe it was new but it was a "return" at the store and he did not open it and checked.

So, I would tell my DD to let him know so this can be returned at the store.

Maybe DD can tell him gently and privately - that they should not exchange gifts in the future.

I disagree that your DD should keep her mouth shut. Why should she be a doormat and passive in her relationship? What a stupid advice.

Agreed. She can be discrete and kind but she shouldn't accept this gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say anything. BUT, giving someone a used water bottle as a gift is gross. I highly doubt he rinsed it out before giving it to her, if it were in fact new.

Maybe it was new but it was a "return" at the store and he did not open it and checked.

So, I would tell my DD to let him know so this can be returned at the store.

Maybe DD can tell him gently and privately - that they should not exchange gifts in the future.

I disagree that your DD should keep her mouth shut. Why should she be a doormat and passive in her relationship? What a stupid advice.

Agreed. She can be discrete and kind but she shouldn't accept this gift.

Yes, DD should say something to him. Doesn’t a new water bottle have a label on it? Was that there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should have specified that the water bottle had something like tea or juice in it. Definitely not water.

I will stay out of it and not say anything to her. I’ll keep my judgmental thoughts to myself!

Yeah, this is trashy. Cannot believe people are defending this. As a mom, I’d keep my comments to myself- and hope this is a short lived relationship. Even for a teen- this is a bad move and shows he is an idiot

+100

She's not entitled to a gift, but if he chooses to give one, it has to be a reasonable gift... not a used, unwashed water bottle, good grief. Or even a used washed one. Come on.

He's still learning, but he won't learn unless she tells him this isn't acceptable to give your girlfriend essentially a piece of trash (I know, I know, someone will reply and say "Oh, people on my buy nothing group grab these all the time!). And I wouldn't want DD to learn that she must accept any piece of crap because it's from a guy and he's just trying. It sounds like he didn't know what to give her so just grabbed his mom's water bottle!

Agree. But I don’t think he was trying. He had to know he was giving her used water bottle isn’t appropriate for a birthday present. I almost would question if he did it intentionally as a way to devalue her and mess with her psychologically.

[Anonymous]

Ew, some people have no standards! Why on earth would I want my child growing up thinking a nasty dirty used gift is an appropriate gift?

Look, girls learn how to be treated from their family - fathers especially. Teaching her to settle for garbage now will just enable her to settle for garbage later.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you should have framed your post differently, people went off-course and paid attention to the wrong parts.

If it were me, I'd tease her about how this might have come about, that the water bottle had someone's drink it in. We'd laugh about implausible scenarios. And then maybe she'd go ask her BF for an explanation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should have specified that the water bottle had something like tea or juice in it. Definitely not water.

I will stay out of it and not say anything to her. I’ll keep my judgmental thoughts to myself!

Yeah, this is trashy. Cannot believe people are defending this. As a mom, I’d keep my comments to myself- and hope this is a short lived relationship. Even for a teen- this is a bad move and shows he is an idiot

+100

She's not entitled to a gift, but if he chooses to give one, it has to be a reasonable gift... not a used, unwashed water bottle, good grief. Or even a used washed one. Come on.

He's still learning, but he won't learn unless she tells him this isn't acceptable to give your girlfriend essentially a piece of trash (I know, I know, someone will reply and say "Oh, people on my buy nothing group grab these all the time!). And I wouldn't want DD to learn that she must accept any piece of crap because it's from a guy and he's just trying. It sounds like he didn't know what to give her so just grabbed his mom's water bottle!

Agree. But I don’t think he was trying. He had to know he was giving her used water bottle isn’t appropriate for a birthday present. I almost would question if he did it intentionally as a way to devalue her and mess with her psychologically.

Yes! This is such a bizarre out of left field "gift" that I'd assume some weird power play as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t this a troll? How can you possibly care?

Seriously. Get a life OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say anything. BUT, giving someone a used water bottle as a gift is gross. I highly doubt he rinsed it out before giving it to her, if it were in fact new.

Maybe it was new but it was a "return" at the store and he did not open it and checked.

So, I would tell my DD to let him know so this can be returned at the store.

Maybe DD can tell him gently and privately - that they should not exchange gifts in the future.

I disagree that your DD should keep her mouth shut. Why should she be a doormat and passive in her relationship? What a stupid advice.

100%
No need to raise girls to be quiet little church mice who should be grateful for whatever crumbs are thrown her way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is a senior in hs and recently had a birthday.
She’s been dating her boyfriend for about three months. First time being in a relationship for both of them. He seems nice enough. I don’t know him well.
She showed me the gift he gave her, a water bottle. Then she opened it to find it had remnants of liquid inside. It was used and he hadn’t even cleaned it out.
I didn’t say anything but it does make me question him. I understand not having a lot of money, but being thoughtful is key.
DD doesn’t seem bothered by the gift. She’s not materialistic at all.
As her mother should I say something or ask any questions. I don’t want to make her feel bad but this gift does make me question him. I realize some people are terrible gift givers, but this gift really seems to lack effort.
What does DCUM say?

DCM says you are way too invested in the granularity of your daughter's dating life. Like WTAF.

[Anonymous]

You say something to DH

What is with these obvious questions lately?

[Anonymous]

Was it like a Stanley or some other sort of hydroflask? Chicks love those things.

[Anonymous]

If he's kind to her and treats her well, who the freak cares about an inapt gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say anything. BUT, giving someone a used water bottle as a gift is gross. I highly doubt he rinsed it out before giving it to her, if it were in fact new.

Maybe it was new but it was a "return" at the store and he did not open it and checked.

So, I would tell my DD to let him know so this can be returned at the store.

Maybe DD can tell him gently and privately - that they should not exchange gifts in the future.

I disagree that your DD should keep her mouth shut. Why should she be a doormat and passive in her relationship? What a stupid advice.

Agreed. She can be discrete and kind but she shouldn't accept this gift.

BS

Refusing the gift is not kind.

OP said her DD doesn’t care. Why not respect the girl’s view of the matter? Why impose your own?

Waaay too involved.