Repeating eighth grade for age/maturity not academics. Thoughts/advice needed

[Anonymous]

I would not hold back and get him some help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have an 8th grader summer birthday kid also with adhd. I am not having her repeat a year. She’s not a rockstar academically but I think she would be bored doing everything again.

1. She's a girl

2. This isn't a summer birthday. It's a September birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has a late September birthday and since he met the kindergarten cutoff for the district we were in we sent him to kindergarten when he was four. We thought he’d probably repeat kindergarten since he was so young but it ended up being fine. And it’s been fine every year until now. He doesn’t struggle academically but high school is a huge step up in academic demands ( I have an older child in high school and see how demanding it is). He has ADHD and already struggles with executive functioning, he’s young for his grade and he’s a boy — I just don’t feel good about sending him to high school next year. Our district might allow him to repeat eighth at another school or we could send him to a private school for eighth. He seems somewhat open to the idea but the data on grade retention isn’t positive.

What would you do?

One reason he’s somewhat into the idea is he thinks it might help him with his competitive sport in high school which is very important to him.

Only if I changed schools or school districts as well, would I reclass a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HS teacher on my lunch break. Plenty of freshman are extremely immature and are different people by the time they are seniors. That isn’t a reason to have him repeat.

Is your son an elite athlete? Are you spending lots of time, money and energy and already thinking about college recruiting? Some kids do actually repeat a year for sports. I think it’s crazy but it happens more than you think in this area. I’ve never heard of it for maturity but know quite a few boys who have for athletics.

Super athletes have a five year high school transcript if they haven’t already been red shirted out of the gate, age 6 kindergarten.

Athletes do 9th grade right after 8th, then go to boarding school or monteverde, homeschooling and repeat 9th grade. Onward and upward.

[Anonymous]

I know 2 girls ( daughters of friends) who were in a similar situation. Both elite athletes with college recruitment potential , both young for their grades ( summer bdays) and were wondering what to do in 8th grade. They both decided to continue on to 9th at their respective schools. For one girl, everything worked out OK and she decided to stay the course and not reclass. The other girl decided to repeat 9th grade at a boarding school and that offered her a completely fresh start.

Maybe have him try to stay in public for 9th. If it doesn’t go well, repeat 9th at a private. 9th is a major entry year at privates and there will be a lot of new kids. Many private also start in 9th and it’ll be a good fresh start for him. 8th is typically not an entry year and might be a tougher admit due to the lack of open spots.

[Anonymous]

You want to hold back a year in the same public school? Will the public school even allow this? How would your child feel to be held back? A private school would probably be okay with the hold back, but then again, they will get another year's tuition out of you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know 2 girls ( daughters of friends) who were in a similar situation. Both elite athletes with college recruitment potential , both young for their grades ( summer bdays) and were wondering what to do in 8th grade. They both decided to continue on to 9th at their respective schools. For one girl, everything worked out OK and she decided to stay the course and not reclass. The other girl decided to repeat 9th grade at a boarding school and that offered her a completely fresh start.

Maybe have him try to stay in public for 9th. If it doesn’t go well, repeat 9th at a private. 9th is a major entry year at privates and there will be a lot of new kids. Many private also start in 9th and it’ll be a good fresh start for him. 8th is typically not an entry year and might be a tougher admit due to the lack of open spots.

The reason it is much more common to repeat 8th grade then 9th is 8th grade grades don't get sent to colleges, and it doesn't take a year of your high school sport eligibility away.

I would absolutely do a reclass year of 8th grade with a Sept boy who is struggling

[Anonymous]

Stop playing games with numbers over a few weeks. September birthday means 14 year old freshman and 18yr old in college. Lots of kids in this situation.

Losing a whole year of education is a far worse problem.

[Anonymous]

I would 100% hold him back. Move him to a more challenging private ideally. This happens at private schools all the time.

[Anonymous]

I’m one of the PP and changing my mind a little, only because my son is 17 and has ADHD. He doesn’t have an early birthday. But I’m thinking of how much more mature he is now compared to a year ago. He will be ready to go away next year at 18. 9th and 10th were a disaster in so many ways. Every kid is different.

So if your son is on board with repeating 8th for sports, it could help. But as I said before, I’d consider changing schools.

[Anonymous]

I have heard of multiple kids who do this for sports. Don’t know anyone who has done it otherwise but don’t see why it would be different.

Only thing I would say is that all future years need to be at a different school. If you plan to go back to the old school after the repeat year, I would not do it. He’s not an elite athlete and the kids will think he’s stupid or something else is wrong with him.

[Anonymous]

Terrible idea. I would not do this. The hit to his self-esteem will make things worse. Regardless, holding him back will not help his maturity at all.

[Anonymous]

The statistics for holding kids back are bad not because there is anything wrong with holding kids back but because of who they were holding back and why. In your case, I would do it. Who cares what other kids think? Your child will likely not know these kids at all in 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop playing games with numbers over a few weeks. September birthday means 14 year old freshman and 18yr old in college. Lots of kids in this situation.

Losing a whole year of education is a far worse problem.

No kid wants to be a 17 year old freshman.

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to people who want your kid to fail because they are perpetually in competition with everyone. You only get one shot at high school and no do overs. Set him up for success and give him the time he needs.