You know you are utterly sleep deprived when...

[Anonymous]

11:02 here. For clarity, I call a CHILD "kitty" not on purpose...
I need sleep.

[Anonymous]

When you spend an hour looking for the keys in your hand or the glasses on your face. I have done both too many times.

[Anonymous]

OP here. You guys rock. Thank you for the commiseration and laughs.

... when you refer to your DD as your parents' dogs name several times.

[Anonymous]

When you get in the shower wearing your socks...look down, notice them, and continue showering because you are too tired to bend down and take them off until you're ready to get out.

Also in the shower...when you've been in there for 10 minutes and can't for the life of you remember if you shampoo'ed your hair yet or not...so you do it again...twice.

[Anonymous]

The sad part is that my only child is almost 4 and I still do a lot of this stuff on a regular basis! It does get better, trust me. I just think I went straight from postpartum to senility!

[Anonymous]

You pay your mortgage twice in one month.

You stop at a red light and put your head back for just a second...and wake up to a green light and cars honking at you.

It takes you two hours to start a load of laundry because you go downstairs to get that dirty shirt in the living room, then see the pile of outgrown clothes that need to be put away, then go back upstairs and do the dishes, then take a shower, then realize you started the load of laundry, then go back downstairs to get that dirty shirt...you get the idea.

You can't remember for the life of you if you took your vitamin this morning.

[Anonymous]

ALMOST drawing up .5 ML of my own cough syrup w/ codeine INSTEAD of the BABY ZANTAC.

(the bottles look very similar...must move cough syrup to my bathroom to prevent a very bad mistake).

[Anonymous]

When you fall asleep at a stop light and have an actual dream before the person behind you honks his horn, "hinting" that the light has turned green quite a while ago...

[Anonymous]

pumping liquid handsoap, not toothpaste, onto your toothbrush.

crying because you burned the chicken, or crying because you over-spiced the chicken (on separate occasions).

doing laundry and forgetting to put in the detergent, or forgetting whether you put detergent in, so you add it again.

[Anonymous]

When instead of folding the clean laundry you just took out of the drier, you turn on the washing machine and throw the already clean clothes back in...

[Anonymous]

when you sit down to pee and realize that although you pulled your pants down, you neglected to pull down your underpants and are now peeing through them.

[Anonymous]

oh- and brushing your teeth with clearasil. suprisingly, it didn't taste THAT bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:too funny - been there (four times)! though it's not quite so funny when you're in it.

if anyone's in need of a lift, link to two essays i return to all the time to remind myself of what it all means (motherhood, that is). by the great anna quindlen - you've probably seen the happy one ("goodbye dr spock"), but the dark one ("playing god on no sleep") is equally brilliant. posted a link to the two on my blog recently if anyone is interested...

http://www.chinesegrandma.com/2010/10/anna-quindlen-motherhood/

not that you all have time to read. maybe in a couple of years! =)

Great essays!

[Anonymous]

You fall asleep while nursing your older infant and wake up to find her on the floor next to the bed, and yet you can't figure out how she got there (rolled off, yikes). Twice in a week.

[Anonymous]

After 7 months of no sleep I began to hallucinate another crying baby after I would get DD back to sleep at 2 am.