You know you are utterly sleep deprived when...

[Anonymous]

It takes you 1.5 hrs to figure out that the reason your Medela symphony pump is not working is be use you neglected to attach the yellow and white plastic flap thing. Meanwhile, I pumped both breasts using only one of the shields while trying to troubleshoot. I was even ready to make yet another wallet bleeding trip to the BF center to buy more pump in vain parts.

[Anonymous]

I walked out the house without shoes, found out I was barefoot when I entered exited the elevator in my apartment garage.

[Anonymous]

When you unpack the groceries you put the butter in the pantry and the cereal in the refrigerator...and you don't notice until the next morning.

[Anonymous]

you pour orange juice into your coffee...your second cup.

you don't notice that your shirt is on inside out until someone at work tells you that the tag is sticking out

you completely, utterly lose it when you find the washing machine has flooded the basement. So much so that when you call your husband you are sobbing and he thinks something horrible happened to the baby, but in reality you just can't handle one other thing.

[Anonymous]

You fill the soap compartment in your dishwasher with Gerber's baby oatmeal.

[Anonymous]

you put your pants on inside out and don't notice until someone tells you on the metro

you are looking desperately for an article of clothing and are relieved, not alarmed, to find it in the freezer

[Anonymous]

You repeatedly call your husband "Chris." You don't even know a Chris. Your husband's name is, and always has been, Greg.

[Anonymous]

it's 5am. Pumping away (yay! Got 4oz so far) then pump in style tubing gets milk in it somehow and before I can detach it from the bottle all the backed up milk goes back in the bottle! I just had to dump all that milk for fear of contamination!! Sigh...

[Anonymous]

You repeated write the date as a different year and think that spring is coming, instead of fall.

[Anonymous]

Omigod, I'm having nightmare flashbacks! Rock on all you crazy zombie people! It DOES get better.

[Anonymous]

Why is there milk dripping in my lap?!!?! Oh yea, I started pumping before I attached the collection bottles!

[Anonymous]

Take the kids to the park, then when trying to get back into the car, you can't find your keys. OMG where could they be? Now drag your toddler and newborn back to the park to re trace your steps and search the entire park. Still can't find them. Go back to the car, maybe they fell out near the car. Still can't find them. Now really starting to panic and baby is starting to cry so my blood pressure is rising. Oh here they are, right in the diaper bag where they should be. Are you kidding me?????

[Anonymous]

You set your alarm, wake the baby, get dress for work and are almost out the door before DH reminds you it's Sunday.

[Anonymous]

Our second night home from the hospital, I grabbed a stuffed animal from DD's shelf to cuddle with in bed. DH woke up to feed DD and I told him, 'she's right here.' (It was in fact, the teddy bear.)
The scary thing is, DH didn't find it odd that our 5 day old baby was lying in bed between us as we slept!

[Anonymous]

you repeatedly call your new son by your friend's son's name. referring to the pediatrician as the vet.