Would you date a twice-married woman or man if you want a LTR?

[Anonymous]

No. Once married, yes, everyone's allowed one marriage mistake. Not twice married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Details married. Are they twice divorced? Widowed?.

Twice divorced.

Twice divorced, no abuse, no cheating.

+1. Divorcing after cheating, never. After abuse, never.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Red flag or no? 40s-50s.

Divorced people... I'd say it depends on WHY they divorced.

Usually the person who ejects and files for divorce, is the type of person who cannot commit.

If the same person initiated the divorce twice, that's a HUGE red flag.

Isn’t it also a red flag if someone has been filed against twice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably a red flag. My uncle got dumped by his live-in girlfriend when they were in their 70s. She met somebody else during a hobby who willing to marry her and improve her financial security. She had been married twice and my uncle was her 3rd LTR. My uncle was no prize, but the impact of this breakup was tough on his older years plans.

My take is that people who are used to bailing are able to exercise that option when they need to.

Sounds like she made a wise choice. Why stay with an old guy who wont fully commit if you have a better option on the table? I'm frustrated with my dad for not marrying his longtime gf. At this point, they've been together longer than my parents were married. Why is it fair for her to deal with all of his health issues and he doesn't care enough to ensure she will be taken care of in his death?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My exH is twice divorced now. He was beating our DC, verbally abused me, and cheated serially. He pretends to be an examplorary dad in front of his new GF and her two young kids, and tells her I left him for no reason.
Our adult DC does not communicate with him. I think it's a good idea to see what their relationship with grown up kids looks like

You need to contact this woman and tell her what he did. For her children's sakes. They're innocent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so dependent on circumstances.

I have a friend in her late 40s - twice divorced + two broken off engagements. She’s pretty, professionally successful, owns her home outright, no kids, inshape, etc. She’s just been very unlucky in love - first husband was cheating, second husband was abusive + hidden addict.

She gets a ton of high quality men interested in her - usually divorced guys with teenage kids, great careers (lawyers, bankers, etc).

I would absolutely set her up with friends, but she seems to have no shortage of male attention. I think her “man picker” is just broken.

If someone trickle-truths their history, I think that’s a big red flag. In contrast, my friend is very upfront about her history when dating.

Her "man-picker"? Please. It's a pretty core skill to be able to select one's friends and romantic partners. Your friend is completely messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably a red flag. My uncle got dumped by his live-in girlfriend when they were in their 70s. She met somebody else during a hobby who willing to marry her and improve her financial security. She had been married twice and my uncle was her 3rd LTR. My uncle was no prize, but the impact of this breakup was tough on his older years plans.

My take is that people who are used to bailing are able to exercise that option when they need to.

Sounds like she made a wise choice. Why stay with an old guy who wont fully commit if you have a better option on the table? I'm frustrated with my dad for not marrying his longtime gf. At this point, they've been together longer than my parents were married. Why is it fair for her to deal with all of his health issues and he doesn't care enough to ensure she will be taken care of in his death?

Well. They lived together for about 20 years. And I think they didn't get married because it would have reduced her benefits. There is some backstory there I won't go into. And, she kinda cheated on him when she found the guy she married while my uncle was faithful to her. It seemed unethical to me. She never took care of any health issues of my uncle, but he spent his entire inheritance jointly supporting their life over two decades and he worked to maintain properties they owned. So she participated in the running of his liquid wealth down to low levels. She was fair in splitting up their properties but she washed her hands of the implicit commitment. Both of them were on a path to not having much to pass on.

I never trusted her anyway. It just took longer than I expected for her to bail. Her health is failing now. She got cancer after her marriage. But her new (elderly) husband has money. So he's the nurse and purse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My exH is twice divorced now. He was beating our DC, verbally abused me, and cheated serially. He pretends to be an examplorary dad in front of his new GF and her two young kids, and tells her I left him for no reason.
Our adult DC does not communicate with him. I think it's a good idea to see what their relationship with grown up kids looks like

You need to contact this woman and tell her what he did. For her children's sakes. They're innocent.

He's worth well over $20m old bold fart, she's 20 years younger with 2 minor kids. He is hiding her full name even from our DC and she's not going forward to give her place of work, business card or anything. I suppose she knows what she's after...

[Anonymous]

Hard pass

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s so dependent on circumstances.

I have a friend in her late 40s - twice divorced + two broken off engagements. She’s pretty, professionally successful, owns her home outright, no kids, inshape, etc. She’s just been very unlucky in love - first husband was cheating, second husband was abusive + hidden addict.

She gets a ton of high quality men interested in her - usually divorced guys with teenage kids, great careers (lawyers, bankers, etc).

I would absolutely set her up with friends, but she seems to have no shortage of male attention. I think her “man picker” is just broken.

If someone trickle-truths their history, I think that’s a big red flag. In contrast, my friend is very upfront about her history when dating.

Her "man-picker"? Please. It's a pretty core skill to be able to select one's friends and romantic partners. Your friend is completely messed up.

But as long as she has an endless stream of men interested, why should she care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my career, I have worked with two men who are on their 5th marriage. Unless they're packing it, have no idea what their appeal is, but how in the world can a woman be happy about being someone's 5th wife?

I have a stepbrother who is divorced 4 times. He’s good looking, successful, brilliant, kind, generous and thoughtful. He loves being in love and is out of there as soon as the new glow wears off. I don’t understand how the four divorces aren’t a major red flag but women seem to be lined up to date him. It continues to astonish me.

[Anonymous]

Sure, as long as no marriage or cohabitation. Enjoy it while it's good, but don't bet the ranch on it.

[Anonymous]

If I ever divorced, I wouldn’t remarry so I don’t think I’d care if someone I dated were twice divorced (unless they really wanted to be legally married for some reason). I don’t understand people who remarry again and again. It’s ok to commit to someone without all the paperwork.

[Anonymous]

Is there really a reason for people that age to get married a third time?

[Anonymous]

No. Twice means something negative.