Would you date a twice-married woman or man if you want a LTR?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my career, I have worked with two men who are on their 5th marriage. Unless they're packing it, have no idea what their appeal is, but how in the world can a woman be happy about being someone's 5th wife?

This. Preach.

[Anonymous]

Nope I wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My exH is twice divorced now. He was beating our DC, verbally abused me, and cheated serially. He pretends to be an examplorary dad in front of his new GF and her two young kids, and tells her I left him for no reason.
Our adult DC does not communicate with him. I think it's a good idea to see what their relationship with grown up kids looks like

This. My exDH wasn't beating me but he was verbally abusive and manipulating me by lying about very important things. I ended our relationship and asked him to move out. He had no physical custody of our kids.

How he ever managed to convince #2 to marry him has always astonished me. But, eventually, she got wise and divorced him.

He has been divorced for 6 months and already has found a new girlfriend whom he has introduced to the kids (now in college).

There are so many red flags flying it's kind of amazing that anyone would get into a relationship with him, but clearly he has a skill at attracting and manipulating women. In our situation, the kids and his relationship with the kids is the tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My exH is twice divorced now. He was beating our DC, verbally abused me, and cheated serially. He pretends to be an examplorary dad in front of his new GF and her two young kids, and tells her I left him for no reason.
Our adult DC does not communicate with him. I think it's a good idea to see what their relationship with grown up kids looks like

This. My exDH wasn't beating me but he was verbally abusive and manipulating me by lying about very important things. I ended our relationship and asked him to move out. He had no physical custody of our kids.

How he ever managed to convince #2 to marry him has always astonished me. But, eventually, she got wise and divorced him.

He has been divorced for 6 months and already has found a new girlfriend whom he has introduced to the kids (now in college).

There are so many red flags flying it's kind of amazing that anyone would get into a relationship with him, but clearly he has a skill at attracting and manipulating women. In our situation, the kids and his relationship with the kids is the tell.

The thing is narcissists and abusers are really great hiding these traits for about 3-4 years. My exH was amazing with me before pregnancy and out DC birth
They break apart when life presents difficulty , something they need invest into, commit to long term , deal with daily chores and boredom. Then their real character reveals

[Anonymous]

My old HS Bf is divorced twice by 40. It seems like all his women associates have a similar history (except me). They are ALL hot messes with a ton of kids with different partners.

[Anonymous]

Married three times myself so, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My exH is twice divorced now. He was beating our DC, verbally abused me, and cheated serially. He pretends to be an examplorary dad in front of his new GF and her two young kids, and tells her I left him for no reason.
Our adult DC does not communicate with him. I think it's a good idea to see what their relationship with grown up kids looks like

This. My exDH wasn't beating me but he was verbally abusive and manipulating me by lying about very important things. I ended our relationship and asked him to move out. He had no physical custody of our kids.

How he ever managed to convince #2 to marry him has always astonished me. But, eventually, she got wise and divorced him.

He has been divorced for 6 months and already has found a new girlfriend whom he has introduced to the kids (now in college).

There are so many red flags flying it's kind of amazing that anyone would get into a relationship with him, but clearly he has a skill at attracting and manipulating women. In our situation, the kids and his relationship with the kids is the tell.

Some do that all the time. I don't know why. It seems that some women view men as long term projects that they can fix. Somehow some of these women think the prior women didn't have what it takes to make him into the best husband he can be. It's very bizarre

[Anonymous]

It depends. Was it bad luck? Bad behavior? What have they learned from it?

I would call it a yellow flag, not a red flag.