She left me because I don't spend enough time with her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

People value stability. Your money isn’t stable, your time isn’t stable, your work isn’t stable.

No women do. Get it right. Perhaps men should now avoid the women with crippling student loans debt with sociology degree and poor job prospects.

[Anonymous]

I think this sounds like a situation where she recognized this was not a good fit for either of you.

You should focus on getting your finances in order. (She should too)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

You’re right to question what people value in you — and how this matches what you value in yourself. You also need to ask yourself what you’re able to offer to others in a relationship— and what you’re expecting from others in relationships.
It sounds like you don’t have time to offer very much to someone who would be in a relationship with you. You also haven’t said much about what exactly you want from this relationship. If you’re expecting the benefits of being a priority in someone else’s very full and complicated life, then you need to be in a position to offer similar joys, security, companionship… whatever as well. Be brutally honest with yourself, and assess what you have to offer to a partner at this point.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re not able to offer very much at this point in your life to any partner — and you’d rather focus this on speculating about your partner’s values than look at the very real limits of what you have to offer right now. This would be an even bigger potential issue if your expectations are out of line with what you can actually offer.

Let’s say you lose your job. What are you offering? It doesn’t sound like quality time or practical assistance are high on your list either. If you’re stuck here — as I’m pushing you to have the courage to do a genuine self-analysis, skim an article on The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, outlining different ways that people experience feeling loved in relationships. Ask yourself which of these five you’re able to offer another person. Then seek out someone who connects with what you can offer — and recognize that the less you can offer the smaller your chances will be of matching with someone who will be genuinely satisfied. Ask yourself too, if a mismatch between what you can offer and what you want to be offered is a factor in your divorce as well. If so, then this might give you some directions re the things you might want to address in yourself to become a better potential partner for others.

Yeah, I think you’re trolling, OP, but some of this might be helpful to a future reader at some point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses are very very interesting I must say. When men say that their value has to do a lot with the money they make, women push back. But when a man says a woman broke up with with over that they say oh that's normal he is too broke to date.

Which is it ladies?

Well, it sounds like he's choosing to drive Uber so that he can max his 401k and Roth. And that's fine. But she's looking for someone who would choose to spend time on a relationship instead. He's not broke at all. He's just choosing work time over relationship time.

He also sounds totally boring. Just hang around the house together weeknights? That's not very appealing. At least you can go for a walk together, right?

OP here. We do more than just walk PP. We do go to the gym together. We go hiking together. We cook together. We go to restaurants together. We go to the movies together. We discuss books together. We have sex almost every day. What else do you want me to do? My job may not be high paying but it had excellent health insurance and good work life balance. Namely if one ofu child is sick I can take time off. I just can't make myself available at all hours we are together. And the hours I drive for Uber are hours that allow me to maximize my income. Uber is market dependent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

People value stability. Your money isn’t stable, your time isn’t stable, your work isn’t stable.

No women do. Get it right. Perhaps men should now avoid the women with crippling student loans debt with sociology degree and poor job prospects.

And yet, those are the very women that men can’t get enough of.

All my friends who were teachers, sociology majors or various kinds of therapists ended up with high earning men. Realistically, women don’t care if you “warn” men away from them. When you’re exactly what men want, you can just sit back and laugh it off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses are very very interesting I must say. When men say that their value has to do a lot with the money they make, women push back. But when a man says a woman broke up with with over that they say oh that's normal he is too broke to date.

Which is it ladies?

Well, it sounds like he's choosing to drive Uber so that he can max his 401k and Roth. And that's fine. But she's looking for someone who would choose to spend time on a relationship instead. He's not broke at all. He's just choosing work time over relationship time.

He also sounds totally boring. Just hang around the house together weeknights? That's not very appealing. At least you can go for a walk together, right?

OP here. We do more than just walk PP. We do go to the gym together. We go hiking together. We cook together. We go to restaurants together. We go to the movies together. We discuss books together. We have sex almost every day. What else do you want me to do? My job may not be high paying but it had excellent health insurance and good work life balance. Namely if one ofu child is sick I can take time off. I just can't make myself available at all hours we are together. And the hours I drive for Uber are hours that allow me to maximize my income. Uber is market dependent.

Maybe she just wasn't that into you.

When women are breaking up with a man, they tend to provide a reason that they think will not make the man angry. There could be any number of real reasons. But she doesn't want to date you, so you need to move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

You’re right to question what people value in you — and how this matches what you value in yourself. You also need to ask yourself what you’re able to offer to others in a relationship— and what you’re expecting from others in relationships.
It sounds like you don’t have time to offer very much to someone who would be in a relationship with you. You also haven’t said much about what exactly you want from this relationship. If you’re expecting the benefits of being a priority in someone else’s very full and complicated life, then you need to be in a position to offer similar joys, security, companionship… whatever as well. Be brutally honest with yourself, and assess what you have to offer to a partner at this point.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re not able to offer very much at this point in your life to any partner — and you’d rather focus this on speculating about your partner’s values than look at the very real limits of what you have to offer right now. This would be an even bigger potential issue if your expectations are out of line with what you can actually offer.

Let’s say you lose your job. What are you offering? It doesn’t sound like quality time or practical assistance are high on your list either. If you’re stuck here — as I’m pushing you to have the courage to do a genuine self-analysis, skim an article on The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, outlining different ways that people experience feeling loved in relationships. Ask yourself which of these five you’re able to offer another person. Then seek out someone who connects with what you can offer — and recognize that the less you can offer the smaller your chances will be of matching with someone who will be genuinely satisfied. Ask yourself too, if a mismatch between what you can offer and what you want to be offered is a factor in your divorce as well. If so, then this might give you some directions re the things you might want to address in yourself to become a better potential partner for others.

Yeah, I think you’re trolling, OP, but some of this might be helpful to a future reader at some point.

This is classic bulls**t. Let's keep it simple. Men are mostly value for their money that's all. OP is broke AF. Don't fall for the BS that's this PP is taking about.

If OP were a millionaire, this woman would have raved over how he only see her 1 day a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

You’re right to question what people value in you — and how this matches what you value in yourself. You also need to ask yourself what you’re able to offer to others in a relationship— and what you’re expecting from others in relationships.
It sounds like you don’t have time to offer very much to someone who would be in a relationship with you. You also haven’t said much about what exactly you want from this relationship. If you’re expecting the benefits of being a priority in someone else’s very full and complicated life, then you need to be in a position to offer similar joys, security, companionship… whatever as well. Be brutally honest with yourself, and assess what you have to offer to a partner at this point.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re not able to offer very much at this point in your life to any partner — and you’d rather focus this on speculating about your partner’s values than look at the very real limits of what you have to offer right now. This would be an even bigger potential issue if your expectations are out of line with what you can actually offer.

Let’s say you lose your job. What are you offering? It doesn’t sound like quality time or practical assistance are high on your list either. If you’re stuck here — as I’m pushing you to have the courage to do a genuine self-analysis, skim an article on The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, outlining different ways that people experience feeling loved in relationships. Ask yourself which of these five you’re able to offer another person. Then seek out someone who connects with what you can offer — and recognize that the less you can offer the smaller your chances will be of matching with someone who will be genuinely satisfied. Ask yourself too, if a mismatch between what you can offer and what you want to be offered is a factor in your divorce as well. If so, then this might give you some directions re the things you might want to address in yourself to become a better potential partner for others.

Yeah, I think you’re trolling, OP, but some of this might be helpful to a future reader at some point.

This is classic bulls**t. Let's keep it simple. Men are mostly value for their money that's all. OP is broke AF. Don't fall for the BS that's this PP is taking about.

If OP were a millionaire, this woman would have raved over how he only see her 1 day a week.

If he's broke, how is he making his Roth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

People value stability. Your money isn’t stable, your time isn’t stable, your work isn’t stable.

No women do. Get it right. Perhaps men should now avoid the women with crippling student loans debt with sociology degree and poor job prospects.

And yet, those are the very women that men can’t get enough of.

All my friends who were teachers, sociology majors or various kinds of therapists ended up with high earning men. Realistically, women don’t care if you “warn” men away from them. When you’re exactly what men want, you can just sit back and laugh it off.

It's because those men are stupid that's all. Nobody is arguing that men are smart when it comes to choosing women. Unlike women, men fall in love with their butt, boobs and clit. And as they age and those assets are no longer prime, they start chasing younger women.

Your friends are smart. The men who chose them not do much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

You’re right to question what people value in you — and how this matches what you value in yourself. You also need to ask yourself what you’re able to offer to others in a relationship— and what you’re expecting from others in relationships.
It sounds like you don’t have time to offer very much to someone who would be in a relationship with you. You also haven’t said much about what exactly you want from this relationship. If you’re expecting the benefits of being a priority in someone else’s very full and complicated life, then you need to be in a position to offer similar joys, security, companionship… whatever as well. Be brutally honest with yourself, and assess what you have to offer to a partner at this point.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re not able to offer very much at this point in your life to any partner — and you’d rather focus this on speculating about your partner’s values than look at the very real limits of what you have to offer right now. This would be an even bigger potential issue if your expectations are out of line with what you can actually offer.

Let’s say you lose your job. What are you offering? It doesn’t sound like quality time or practical assistance are high on your list either. If you’re stuck here — as I’m pushing you to have the courage to do a genuine self-analysis, skim an article on The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, outlining different ways that people experience feeling loved in relationships. Ask yourself which of these five you’re able to offer another person. Then seek out someone who connects with what you can offer — and recognize that the less you can offer the smaller your chances will be of matching with someone who will be genuinely satisfied. Ask yourself too, if a mismatch between what you can offer and what you want to be offered is a factor in your divorce as well. If so, then this might give you some directions re the things you might want to address in yourself to become a better potential partner for others.

Yeah, I think you’re trolling, OP, but some of this might be helpful to a future reader at some point.

This is classic bulls**t. Let's keep it simple. Men are mostly value for their money that's all. OP is broke AF. Don't fall for the BS that's this PP is taking about.

If OP were a millionaire, this woman would have raved over how he only see her 1 day a week.

If he's broke, how is he making his Roth?

Roth is only $8k/year max. That's nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses are very very interesting I must say. When men say that their value has to do a lot with the money they make, women push back. But when a man says a woman broke up with with over that they say oh that's normal he is too broke to date.

Which is it ladies?

Well, it sounds like he's choosing to drive Uber so that he can max his 401k and Roth. And that's fine. But she's looking for someone who would choose to spend time on a relationship instead. He's not broke at all. He's just choosing work time over relationship time.

He also sounds totally boring. Just hang around the house together weeknights? That's not very appealing. At least you can go for a walk together, right?

OP here. We do more than just walk PP. We do go to the gym together. We go hiking together. We cook together. We go to restaurants together. We go to the movies together. We discuss books together. We have sex almost every day. What else do you want me to do? My job may not be high paying but it had excellent health insurance and good work life balance. Namely if one ofu child is sick I can take time off. I just can't make myself available at all hours we are together. And the hours I drive for Uber are hours that allow me to maximize my income. Uber is market dependent.

Let me guess, the Uber driving means that you no longer have time for any of that except the sex, and she doesn't want to be a booth call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

You’re right to question what people value in you — and how this matches what you value in yourself. You also need to ask yourself what you’re able to offer to others in a relationship— and what you’re expecting from others in relationships.
It sounds like you don’t have time to offer very much to someone who would be in a relationship with you. You also haven’t said much about what exactly you want from this relationship. If you’re expecting the benefits of being a priority in someone else’s very full and complicated life, then you need to be in a position to offer similar joys, security, companionship… whatever as well. Be brutally honest with yourself, and assess what you have to offer to a partner at this point.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re not able to offer very much at this point in your life to any partner — and you’d rather focus this on speculating about your partner’s values than look at the very real limits of what you have to offer right now. This would be an even bigger potential issue if your expectations are out of line with what you can actually offer.

Let’s say you lose your job. What are you offering? It doesn’t sound like quality time or practical assistance are high on your list either. If you’re stuck here — as I’m pushing you to have the courage to do a genuine self-analysis, skim an article on The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, outlining different ways that people experience feeling loved in relationships. Ask yourself which of these five you’re able to offer another person. Then seek out someone who connects with what you can offer — and recognize that the less you can offer the smaller your chances will be of matching with someone who will be genuinely satisfied. Ask yourself too, if a mismatch between what you can offer and what you want to be offered is a factor in your divorce as well. If so, then this might give you some directions re the things you might want to address in yourself to become a better potential partner for others.

Yeah, I think you’re trolling, OP, but some of this might be helpful to a future reader at some point.

This is classic bulls**t. Let's keep it simple. Men are mostly value for their money that's all. OP is broke AF. Don't fall for the BS that's this PP is taking about.

If OP were a millionaire, this woman would have raved over how he only see her 1 day a week.

Tell yourself whatever you need to to feel better about yourself. Shrug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you.

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me.

People value stability. Your money isn’t stable, your time isn’t stable, your work isn’t stable.

No women do. Get it right. Perhaps men should now avoid the women with crippling student loans debt with sociology degree and poor job prospects.

Uhm, yes men already do that.

[Anonymous]

Yikes, when do you ever see your children? Maybe you should focus on your job and your kids and not about getting some a$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The responses are very very interesting I must say. When men say that their value has to do a lot with the money they make, women push back. But when a man says a woman broke up with with over that they say oh that's normal he is too broke to date.

Which is it ladies?

Well, it sounds like he's choosing to drive Uber so that he can max his 401k and Roth. And that's fine. But she's looking for someone who would choose to spend time on a relationship instead. He's not broke at all. He's just choosing work time over relationship time.

He also sounds totally boring. Just hang around the house together weeknights? That's not very appealing. At least you can go for a walk together, right?

OP here. We do more than just walk PP. We do go to the gym together. We go hiking together. We cook together. We go to restaurants together. We go to the movies together. We discuss books together. We have sex almost every day. What else do you want me to do? My job may not be high paying but it had excellent health insurance and good work life balance. Namely if one ofu child is sick I can take time off. I just can't make myself available at all hours we are together. And the hours I drive for Uber are hours that allow me to maximize my income. Uber is market dependent.

Do you ever spend the night together? Do you ever take a day off?