She left me because I don't spend enough time with her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex wife left me because I was working too much and wasn't willing to cut my hours and subsequently money. I make a lot of money and I want more. I was not willing to work less and earn less. So my wife left. I don't blame her. She is now dating a younger who seems like he has a lot more time for her. Good for her. I am also dating a woman who is willing to put up with my hours. You have one life to live. You should not throw that life away because your partner is not willing to make sacrifices for you. So I am on OP's ex side.

It's one thing when you work a lot to support your partner and your mutual children, as you did. Another entirely when you're working all the time to support your own children and have nothing left to offer a new romantic partner. In that scenario, your time and resources are all going elsewhere, and the person you are seeing is just convenient sex. There are a few, not many, women out there who are so busy with their own lives that that is all they want. OP will have to spend a lot of time (which he doesn't have) and probably a little money (which he doesn't want to spend) trying to find them. Most women want more. It goes back to, why not just laser focus on your kids and finances and give dating a rest, OP?

[Anonymous]

OP, she is entitled to a preference. That's all it is. That's all it is and all it needs to be.

No need to think any deeper about this.

[Anonymous]

So, what does this woman do with her own kids while she’s laying about hand having daily sex with the OP?

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, what does this woman do with her own kids while she’s laying about hand having daily sex with the OP?

Troll.

Apparently they both have the same schedule for their kids. So she doesn't have her kids those days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex wife left me because I was working too much and wasn't willing to cut my hours and subsequently money. I make a lot of money and I want more. I was not willing to work less and earn less. So my wife left. I don't blame her. She is now dating a younger who seems like he has a lot more time for her. Good for her. I am also dating a woman who is willing to put up with my hours. You have one life to live. You should not throw that life away because your partner is not willing to make sacrifices for you. So I am on OP's ex side.

It's one thing when you work a lot to support your partner and your mutual children, as you did. Another entirely when you're working all the time to support your own children and have nothing left to offer a new romantic partner. In that scenario, your time and resources are all going elsewhere, and the person you are seeing is just convenient sex. There are a few, not many, women out there who are so busy with their own lives that that is all they want. OP will have to spend a lot of time (which he doesn't have) and probably a little money (which he doesn't want to spend) trying to find them. Most women want more. It goes back to, why not just laser focus on your kids and finances and give dating a rest, OP?

100% this. Divorced women have an advantage because men demand far less time from their partners than women do. It's simply true. Most men if were up to them they can be away from you for a week and not miss spending time with you at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced and been dating another divorced woman for the past year. Because my income from my regular job is not enough since I have to pay child support I drive for Uber in the early mornings and late at night before and after my regular job. So as a result we don't have a lot of quality time together. At first it was fine but overtime it became an issue

She has kids as a well and a recipient of child support and I thought she was a great match because she would understand my situation.

If you are a woman and have been in a similar situation, how has dating been for you? This is discouraging to be honest.

It sounds like you are almost broke. Women don't like men who are broke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is entitled to a preference. That's all it is. That's all it is and all it needs to be.

No need to think any deeper about this.

100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced and been dating another divorced woman for the past year. Because my income from my regular job is not enough since I have to pay child support I drive for Uber in the early mornings and late at night before and after my regular job. So as a result we don't have a lot of quality time together. At first it was fine but overtime it became an issue

She has kids as a well and a recipient of child support and I thought she was a great match because she would understand my situation.

If you are a woman and have been in a similar situation, how has dating been for you? This is discouraging to be honest.

It sounds like you are almost broke. Women don't like men who are broke.

Lol breaking news lol. Women don't like broke men haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t date men who were stretched so thin.

Should men avoid women who are stretched so thin like OP? Just wondering. Should men avoid these women?

Or does it only apply to men?

It applies to any and everyone who values quality time, as OP does not have quality time available to share with a partner.

[Anonymous]

Now I understand why high income household divorce once one of the spouse experiences income shocks due to illness or job loss. Some of you are disgusting human beings. Your entire value as a person is tied to your monetary contribution.

When I met my wife she was working 3 jobs. Some days when we hung out she was so tired that she fell asleep after 10 mins. I loved that she worked hard. She didn't want my money. When we spent time together it was quality time. She is an amazing woman . If I had the mindset of some of you disgusting people complaining that she didn't see me enough I would have ended up marrying someone like one of you. I feel sorry for your spouse to be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now I understand why high income household divorce once one of the spouse experiences income shocks due to illness or job loss. Some of you are disgusting human beings. Your entire value as a person is tied to your monetary contribution.

When I met my wife she was working 3 jobs. Some days when we hung out she was so tired that she fell asleep after 10 mins. I loved that she worked hard. She didn't want my money. When we spent time together it was quality time. She is an amazing woman . If I had the mindset of some of you disgusting people complaining that she didn't see me enough I would have ended up marrying someone like one of you. I feel sorry for your spouse to be honest.

If you —and your wife — view the “quality time” you shared as being “enough”, well, that’s great. Surely you can understand that different people might want more than that? Focus less on your efforts to reduce this to “monetary contributions “ and more on the OP seeming to feel that frequent sex is enough to sustain a mutually satisfying relationship. Different people want different things. Wow. Shocker. It would be nice to hear your wife’s perspective too. It’s funny how quickly some people leap from reasonable complaints to nattering on about “your entire value as a person “. I suspect that many men value themselves for sexual prowess and monetary value — then get pissed when women seem to value them for what they seemingly have to offer. They’re listening to men on the internet instead of the women who they claim they want to love them.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs who noted that OP's girlfriend doesn't seem like a good catch anyway. I hope he can see that he's better off without her. I'm divorced and asked for no alimony and the only child support I got was that my ex had to continue contributing into a 529 for our child. That's because I earn enough money to not need my ex's money to live my life. Sure we split our marital assets, but that was built with money that we each put in during our marriage. IOW, it was my money that I earned. Most women who weren't contributing somewhat equally during their previous marriage (are are thus receiving alimony) are going to be looking for a man who has as much income available to spend on them as their first husband because they'll lose their alimony and possibly some of the child support if she lives with/marries him. If you date a woman who is receiving alimony, she basically works for her ex husband and is still financially dependent on him, which would bother me if I were her new partner. That whole arrangement is really distasteful and gross, IMO, and it's baggage that nobody needs to take on. OP should continue trying to date divorced moms. But he needs to find the ones who themselves are working long hours (between work and home life) like all the other adults who are making their own way in the world. Those women won't complain about him being busy because they'll be too busy to notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I understand why high income household divorce once one of the spouse experiences income shocks due to illness or job loss. Some of you are disgusting human beings. Your entire value as a person is tied to your monetary contribution.

When I met my wife she was working 3 jobs. Some days when we hung out she was so tired that she fell asleep after 10 mins. I loved that she worked hard. She didn't want my money. When we spent time together it was quality time. She is an amazing woman . If I had the mindset of some of you disgusting people complaining that she didn't see me enough I would have ended up marrying someone like one of you. I feel sorry for your spouse to be honest.

If you —and your wife — view the “quality time” you shared as being “enough”, well, that’s great. Surely you can understand that different people might want more than that? Focus less on your efforts to reduce this to “monetary contributions “ and more on the OP seeming to feel that frequent sex is enough to sustain a mutually satisfying relationship. Different people want different things. Wow. Shocker. It would be nice to hear your wife’s perspective too. It’s funny how quickly some people leap from reasonable complaints to nattering on about “your entire value as a person “. I suspect that many men value themselves for sexual prowess and monetary value — then get pissed when women seem to value them for what they seemingly have to offer. They’re listening to men on the internet instead of the women who they claim they want to love them.

I'm glad you know who men are listening to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now I understand why high income household divorce once one of the spouse experiences income shocks due to illness or job loss. Some of you are disgusting human beings. Your entire value as a person is tied to your monetary contribution.

When I met my wife she was working 3 jobs. Some days when we hung out she was so tired that she fell asleep after 10 mins. I loved that she worked hard. She didn't want my money. When we spent time together it was quality time. She is an amazing woman . If I had the mindset of some of you disgusting people complaining that she didn't see me enough I would have ended up marrying someone like one of you. I feel sorry for your spouse to be honest.

If you —and your wife — view the “quality time” you shared as being “enough”, well, that’s great. Surely you can understand that different people might want more than that? Focus less on your efforts to reduce this to “monetary contributions “ and more on the OP seeming to feel that frequent sex is enough to sustain a mutually satisfying relationship. Different people want different things. Wow. Shocker. It would be nice to hear your wife’s perspective too. It’s funny how quickly some people leap from reasonable complaints to nattering on about “your entire value as a person “. I suspect that many men value themselves for sexual prowess and monetary value — then get pissed when women seem to value them for what they seemingly have to offer. They’re listening to men on the internet instead of the women who they claim they want to love them.

+1. I'll just say that as a man who pays child support while I do have some disposable income I simply do not have time to date and be emotionally involved with someone else. My kids are 12 and 15. I am prioritizing my hobbies my friends. I am not saying men should not pursue romantic relationships after divorce, I am saying they should not underestimate the emotional toll it takes to handle themselves, their kids and their new partners. Relationships are hard. And those of us who are divorced should be honest with ourselves. We are not exactly great at relationships. Of course some us will blame our exes but we are not innocent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs who noted that OP's girlfriend doesn't seem like a good catch anyway. I hope he can see that he's better off without her. I'm divorced and asked for no alimony and the only child support I got was that my ex had to continue contributing into a 529 for our child. That's because I earn enough money to not need my ex's money to live my life. Sure we split our marital assets, but that was built with money that we each put in during our marriage. IOW, it was my money that I earned. Most women who weren't contributing somewhat equally during their previous marriage (are are thus receiving alimony) are going to be looking for a man who has as much income available to spend on them as their first husband because they'll lose their alimony and possibly some of the child support if she lives with/marries him. If you date a woman who is receiving alimony, she basically works for her ex husband and is still financially dependent on him, which would bother me if I were her new partner. That whole arrangement is really distasteful and gross, IMO, and it's baggage that nobody needs to take on. OP should continue trying to date divorced moms. But he needs to find the ones who themselves are working long hours (between work and home life) like all the other adults who are making their own way in the world. Those women won't complain about him being busy because they'll be too busy to notice.

Wow that was a lot of writing to say you didn't read the OP. She's not receiving alimony.