Reply to She left me because I don't spend enough time with her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Keep looking and don’t get discouraged, OP. You didn’t meet the expectations of this one particular woman. It doesn’t mean there’s no one else out there for you. [/quote]

OP here. Thanks for the kind words. To be honest I am done. If I do get a better job perhaps I can date again. But it also makes me wonder how much of my value as a person is tied to the money I make. If I didn't struggle I would have had more time for her. But then what if I was doing well financially and lose my job, would she leave me then? I know I am rambling but I am just questioning what people value in me. [/quote]

You’re right to question what people value in you — and how this matches what you value in yourself.  You also need to ask yourself what you’re able to offer to others in a relationship— and what you’re expecting from others in relationships. 
It sounds like you don’t have time to offer very much to someone who would be in a relationship with you.  You also haven’t said much about what exactly you want from this relationship. If you’re expecting the benefits of being a priority in someone else’s very full and complicated life, then you need to be in a position to offer similar joys, security, companionship… whatever as well.  Be brutally honest with yourself, and assess what you have to offer to a partner at this point.

Honestly, it sounds like you’re not able to offer very much at this point in your life to any partner — and you’d rather focus this on speculating about your partner’s values than look at the very real limits of what you have to offer right now. This would be an even bigger potential issue if your expectations are out of line with what you can actually offer.

Let’s say you lose your job. What are you offering? It doesn’t sound like quality time or practical assistance are high on your list either.  If you’re stuck here — as I’m pushing you to have the courage to do a genuine self-analysis, skim an article on The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, outlining different ways that people experience feeling loved in relationships. Ask yourself which of these five you’re able to offer another person. Then seek out someone who connects with what you can offer — and recognize that the less you can offer the smaller your chances will be of matching with someone who will be genuinely satisfied. Ask yourself too, if a mismatch between what you can offer and what you want to be offered is a factor in your divorce as well. If so, then this might give you some directions re the things you might want to address in yourself to become a better potential partner for others.

Yeah, I think you’re trolling, OP, but some of this might be helpful to a future reader at some point.

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