Childless BIL Planning Bizarre Visit

[Anonymous]

It doesn't sound like you are visiting your BIL. You are looking for a free hotel room. Ick

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I looked it up and there's no drag storyline themed street fair in Brooklyn so either this person is trolling or decided to make at best, a single event at a larger street fair their entire focus?

But NYC street fairs are different so I dunno what the objection is. That's very Brooklyn. Otherwise just take the subway in and take your kids to the Metropolitan Museum and Central Park. Can't get more classic NYC than that.

That's my point. BIL sent us a flyer for this open streets thing that prominently features drag storytime, but when I looked up the event separately, drag storytime is barely mentioned. Which makes me think he's just trying to be controversial by choosing that flyer over the more accurate marketing materials for the event.

Yes, he pointed out the thing that was age appropriate for your kids. Just don't visit him. You don't like him, and you don't want to see him. There is nothing weird about him wanting you to see his neighborhood. Also, the statue of liberty is a horribly boring climb. Do a boat trip instead.

[Anonymous]

Why would a moderate democrat have a problem with drag storytime? I think it is time to reflect on your husband's self identification (if this isn't just a full on lie).

[Anonymous]

One of my kids has no kids and lives in DC. I guarantee you, if another one of the kids with kids wanted to visit DC she’d approach things the same way as your brother in law. She’d want them to experience the city the way locals do and do things kids want to do. You should be grateful to your BIL instead of taking shots at him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I looked it up and there's no drag storyline themed street fair in Brooklyn so either this person is trolling or decided to make at best, a single event at a larger street fair their entire focus?

But NYC street fairs are different so I dunno what the objection is. That's very Brooklyn. Otherwise just take the subway in and take your kids to the Metropolitan Museum and Central Park. Can't get more classic NYC than that.

That's my point. BIL sent us a flyer for this open streets thing that prominently features drag storytime, but when I looked up the event separately, drag storytime is barely mentioned. Which makes me think he's just trying to be controversial by choosing that flyer over the more accurate marketing materials for the event.

Yes, he pointed out the thing that was age appropriate for your kids. Just don't visit him. You don't like him, and you don't want to see him. There is nothing weird about him wanting you to see his neighborhood. Also, the statue of liberty is a horribly boring climb. Do a boat trip instead.

Or go to Battery Park and ride the seaglass carousel, then take the ferry to governor's island and explore over there. It's much more fun and interactive for kids than sitting on a boat or standing inside a statue, and you get to experience the waterfront and the beautiful views as part of the package.

[Anonymous]

LOL my brother is also a socialist living in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn who likes to get a reaction. I'd probably go to the street festival unless it crowded out something I really wanted to do, in which case just say so. But you're reacting waaaay too much to this.

[Anonymous]

Just do your own thing. NYC is a tourist destination. Invite the BIL to meet you for a meal at a restaurant that you book/pay for and leave it at that. Otherwise enjoy your getaway.

BIL might think that you expect unpaid tourist services. Is this the kind of thing he does on his own time? Don’t expect him to be a tour guide. I lived in a tourist city for years and it absolutely ruined my relationship with my MIL. Well, she did, but the expectations she had when she visited twice really did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is bil gay?

Nope, he's a cis-het male.

[Anonymous]

OP is a lying troll
OP dies not know what socialism means at all .


There were 34 church leaders & christian school employees who were arrested, pled guilty and/ or were sentenced to prison for child sex crimes in the month of July. You’d do story time with these shots

Ken Paxton of Texas committed adultrt over and over again you would do story time with that shit .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are taking our kids (ages 7 and 5) to visit my BIL in NYC for a weekend this fall. Our kids have never been there and want to do all the touristy things. We've booked a tour of the Statue of Liberty already. We know we won't have time to do everything we want to do in this trip in just 2.5 days, so we need to prioritize.

BIL lives in Brooklyn and wants to show off his neighborhood. We're happy to spend some time there and he originally suggested Prospect Park and the train museum, which we were totally on board with. Then, today, he sent us info for a Brooklyn open streets fair featuring drag storytime. DH pushed back, saying we can go to street festivals at home, and would prefer to do things we can ONLY do in NYC. He's insisting this is more than a festival and will expose our kids to his neighborhood in unique ways. I looked it up and there are lots of other flyers he could have sent us that don't prominently feature drag storytime and explain a little more about the rest of the festival (which, honestly, doesn't look drastically different from the closed-street farmers markets and festivals we go to regularly at home).

DH is moderate Democrat and BIL is a socialist and it's caused tension throughout their lives. BIL regularly buys our kids books about progressive topics (intentionally choosing controversial books) in ways that feels like he's trying to push an agenda. So part of me thinks BIL is pushing this open streets thing as a way to take his nieces to drag storytime or to try to force DH into taking a stand against it, because he loves to push buttons. If he wants to expose kids to progressive socialism, he should have his own kids.

My BIL (DH’s brother) is like this but on the other side of the aisle. He buys our kids things like Bill O Reilly book for kids, Trump coloring book and more. And IMO he does it just to p*ss us off.

I can see why this would bother you. To me, it is no different than family that keeps sending super conservative and/or religious books to your kids- when they know full well that you are not religious/conservative. If it happens regularly it can really be a bit disrespectful and seem like intentional needling and button pushing. If they then suggested an event at their megachurch when your visit, it is understandable that you would be wary.

Even if BIL is truly just suggesting an event that he thinks would be fun (and that may well be the case) it is understandable that DH might be prickly about it based on past history.

That said, if you are staying with him, that is not a good idea. You can’t have it both ways. Get a hotel & then tell BIL what activities you will and not be joining. You don’t need to be together 24/7 and can easily just meet up with him before or after, if something doesn’t interest you.

It's especially frustrating because we're solidly Democrats, just not part of the progressive wing. So when he picks progressive fights with us, it's like, why? We are all liberal, just not to the same degree. What is the point of picking these fights with us?

And, FWIW, it's not even an option to cram our family into his tiny apartment, so we booked a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The event sounds fun and like a good option but I also totally get where you are coming from with the pushing ideals onto families/kids in an antagonistic way.

My SIL bought my 3 y/o son makeup and a dress this past Xmas. Shes very into the whole gender bending/ gender exploration thing and I know she doesn’t feel we are progressive enough and inserts her beliefs in this kind of way. Its obnoxious. My toddler won’t be wearing makeup and I’m not going to put him in a dress he didn’t ask for to make a statement. He can and will make his own choices as he grows up and voices/executes his own style.

Ug, yes. Don't make the kids into statements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a lying troll
OP dies not know what socialism means at all .


There were 34 church leaders & christian school employees who were arrested, pled guilty and/ or were sentenced to prison for child sex crimes in the month of July. You’d do story time with these shots

Ken Paxton of Texas committed adultrt over and over again you would do story time with that shit .

...My BIL is a dues-paying member of the DSA and subscriber to Jacobin, so, yes, he's a socialist.

And, no, I'm not a Christian and don't go to Christian story time either. I actually don't think I've ever taken my kids to an organized story time, because the ones at my library are usually in the middle of the day for SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are taking our kids (ages 7 and 5) to visit my BIL in NYC for a weekend this fall. Our kids have never been there and want to do all the touristy things. We've booked a tour of the Statue of Liberty already. We know we won't have time to do everything we want to do in this trip in just 2.5 days, so we need to prioritize.

BIL lives in Brooklyn and wants to show off his neighborhood. We're happy to spend some time there and he originally suggested Prospect Park and the train museum, which we were totally on board with. Then, today, he sent us info for a Brooklyn open streets fair featuring drag storytime. DH pushed back, saying we can go to street festivals at home, and would prefer to do things we can ONLY do in NYC. He's insisting this is more than a festival and will expose our kids to his neighborhood in unique ways. I looked it up and there are lots of other flyers he could have sent us that don't prominently feature drag storytime and explain a little more about the rest of the festival (which, honestly, doesn't look drastically different from the closed-street farmers markets and festivals we go to regularly at home).

DH is moderate Democrat and BIL is a socialist and it's caused tension throughout their lives. BIL regularly buys our kids books about progressive topics (intentionally choosing controversial books) in ways that feels like he's trying to push an agenda. So part of me thinks BIL is pushing this open streets thing as a way to take his nieces to drag storytime or to try to force DH into taking a stand against it, because he loves to push buttons. If he wants to expose kids to progressive socialism, he should have his own kids.

Troll score: 1. Demerits for clumsy interjection of politics into an otherwise credible premise and being way too obvious. I might have gotten it if you framed BIL as being a snob about tourist spots instead as a caricature of a socialist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is a lying troll
OP dies not know what socialism means at all .


There were 34 church leaders & christian school employees who were arrested, pled guilty and/ or were sentenced to prison for child sex crimes in the month of July. You’d do story time with these shots

Ken Paxton of Texas committed adultrt over and over again you would do story time with that shit .

...My BIL is a dues-paying member of the DSA and subscriber to Jacobin, so, yes, he's a socialist.

And, no, I'm not a Christian and don't go to Christian story time either. I actually don't think I've ever taken my kids to an organized story time, because the ones at my library are usually in the middle of the day for SAHMs.

I'm the PP with a socialist brother in NYC. Also a dues paying member of DSA, union organizer, campaigned for Mamdani, etc.

But I am Christian and I do go to church... a church FULL of gay Christian couples and young people. We exist.

Anyway, if you don't want to do drag story time, it's fine, move on, my young kids would not be interested in sitting down for a story even though they'd probably enjoy a street festival more generally. But it seems like you're reaching for things to be offended by, even going to look for other posters to prove your BIL was trying to provoke you with the one he picked. If you really think he's going for a reaction, don't give him one!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would a moderate democrat have a problem with drag storytime? I think it is time to reflect on your husband's self identification (if this isn't just a full on lie).

I don't think OP knows what a moderate democrat (or a socialist) are