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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH and I are taking our kids (ages 7 and 5) to visit my BIL in NYC for a weekend this fall. Our kids have never been there and want to do all the touristy things. We've booked a tour of the Statue of Liberty already. We know we won't have time to do everything we want to do in this trip in just 2.5 days, so we need to prioritize.

BIL lives in Brooklyn and wants to show off his neighborhood. We're happy to spend some time there and he originally suggested Prospect Park and the train museum, which we were totally on board with. Then, today, he sent us info for a Brooklyn open streets fair featuring drag storytime. DH pushed back, saying we can go to street festivals at home, and would prefer to do things we can ONLY do in NYC. He's insisting this is more than a festival and will expose our kids to his neighborhood in unique ways. I looked it up and there are lots of other flyers he could have sent us that don't prominently feature drag storytime and explain a little more about the rest of the festival (which, honestly, doesn't look drastically different from the closed-street farmers markets and festivals we go to regularly at home).

DH is moderate Democrat and BIL is a socialist and it's caused tension throughout their lives. [b]BIL regularly buys our kids books about progressive topics (intentionally choosing controversial books) in ways that feels like he's trying to push an agenda.[/b] So part of me thinks BIL is pushing this open streets thing as a way to take his nieces to drag storytime or to try to force DH into taking a stand against it, because he loves to push buttons. If he wants to expose kids to progressive socialism, he should have his own kids.[/quote]

My BIL (DH’s brother)  is like this but on the other side of the aisle. He buys our kids things like Bill O Reilly book for kids, Trump coloring book and more. And IMO he does it just to p*ss us off.

I can see why this would bother you. To me, it is no different than family that keeps sending super conservative and/or religious books to your kids- when they know full well that you are not religious/conservative. If it happens regularly it can really be a bit disrespectful and seem like intentional needling and button pushing. If they then suggested an event at their megachurch when your visit,  it is understandable that you would be wary.

Even if BIL is truly just suggesting an event that he thinks would be fun (and that may well be the case) it is understandable that DH might be prickly about it based on past history.

That said, if you are staying with him, that is not a good idea. You can’t have it both ways. Get a hotel & then tell BIL what activities you will and not be joining. You don’t need to be together 24/7 and can easily just meet up with him before or after, if something doesn’t interest you. 
[/quote]

It's especially frustrating because we're solidly Democrats, just not part of the progressive wing. So when he picks progressive fights with us, it's like, why? We are all liberal, just not to the same degree. What is the point of picking these fights with us?

And, FWIW, it's not even an option to cram our family into his tiny apartment, so we booked a hotel.[/quote]

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