If you have duds for kids, is it a reversion back to family history or an outlier?

[Anonymous]

So I think my father was a dud back in the day but he managed to hold a job and have a family. However he was very helpless in all other aspects of his life. But then maybe he is ok since he has a job and kids? The jury is still out on that one.
My ex’s uncle is a clear cut dud. Lives with his 93yo mom and was never married. Idk what his issue is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are dudes from a long line of dudes.

May they abide.

👏 🏆

My kids are dukes, I'm just hoping Daisy marries well.

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting question. Many of the men on both sides of my family (dad's and mom's generation and now mine) have struggled and there are more than a few failure to launch examples. Meanwhile the women all -- ALL -- have thrived. It is enough of a thing that I noticed it as a child and asked my mom about it and she said something about parents "raising the daughters but loving the sons" being the issue. At the time it didn't make sense to me but later I understood it to mean that the sons were spoiled and coddled in ways that crippled them and made them less prepared for life while at the same time tough and exacting with the daughters which taught them to be more independent and work harder, strive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is an interesting question. Many of the men on both sides of my family (dad's and mom's generation and now mine) have struggled and there are more than a few failure to launch examples. Meanwhile the women all -- ALL -- have thrived. It is enough of a thing that I noticed it as a child and asked my mom about it and she said something about parents "raising the daughters but loving the sons" being the issue. At the time it didn't make sense to me but later I understood it to mean that the sons were spoiled and coddled in ways that crippled them and made them less prepared for life while at the same time THE PARENTS were tough and exacting with the daughters which taught them to be more independent and work harder, strive.

left that out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually it's because they have undiagnosed issues that didn't get treatment in childhood.

This, or maybe the issues are ones that make thriving so difficult that they give up or have to take a different path.

I would say that not being self-sufficient would be a broad definition of being a dud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What defines a dud? I have two siblings who are unmarried and broke in their 30’s but seem generally happy. They were on track to have normal white collar careers but pivoted in their 20’s to follow their dreams. Their lives are unstable though and usually whenever s*** happens they have to ask family for money

Their bad choices make them duds. Mostly because they haven’t - and don’t know how to - pivot back. Duds.

[Anonymous]

Is dud someone twice divorced and now living with his parents at 40 years old? If so I know a dud.

[Anonymous]

My niece has been a prostitute since age 15

White men over 40

Now she has a sugar daddy who she lives with and has an only fans site. Just bought herself a 70,000 car with cash. Never graduated HS.

Her parents are college educated. My brother her father is a loser hasn't had a real job since about age 30 he’s 61. He gambles I have no idea how he pays his bills . For a while he scammed hernia victims.

My other sister also college graduate adopted a child again she failed . She married an uneducated guy and went all on His uneducated thoughts . They both suck as parents . If they’re one and only graduates from HS it will be a miracle.

I left home at age 17 my kids are all productive members of society and all of them have graduate degrees , hard workers etc.


My parents were the problem they failed . Although their children went to college all four of us my mother is a shit and this is why two out of four of us went backwards. It’s been horrible to watch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece has been a prostitute since age 15

White men over 40

Now she has a sugar daddy who she lives with and has an only fans site. Just bought herself a 70,000 car with cash. Never graduated HS.

Her parents are college educated. My brother her father is a loser hasn't had a real job since about age 30 he’s 61. He gambles I have no idea how he pays his bills . For a while he scammed hernia victims.

My other sister also college graduate adopted a child again she failed . She married an uneducated guy and went all on His uneducated thoughts . They both suck as parents . If they’re one and only graduates from HS it will be a miracle.

I left home at age 17 my kids are all productive members of society and all of them have graduate degrees , hard workers etc.


My parents were the problem they failed . Although their children went to college all four of us my mother is a shit and this is why two out of four of us went backwards. It’s been horrible to watch

Wow.. that’s rough. What’s wrong with ur mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually it's because they have undiagnosed issues that didn't get treatment in childhood.

Do you have young SN children and is this your way of telling yourself that YOUR kids will be alright?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:WTF is a "dud" child?

Isn't a doctor, lawyer, engineer, high-ranking executive at fortune 500 company, or college professor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece has been a prostitute since age 15

White men over 40

Now she has a sugar daddy who she lives with and has an only fans site. Just bought herself a 70,000 car with cash. Never graduated HS.

Her parents are college educated. My brother her father is a loser hasn't had a real job since about age 30 he’s 61. He gambles I have no idea how he pays his bills . For a while he scammed hernia victims.

My other sister also college graduate adopted a child again she failed . She married an uneducated guy and went all on His uneducated thoughts . They both suck as parents . If they’re one and only graduates from HS it will be a miracle.

I left home at age 17 my kids are all productive members of society and all of them have graduate degrees , hard workers etc.


My parents were the problem they failed . Although their children went to college all four of us my mother is a shit and this is why two out of four of us went backwards. It’s been horrible to watch

What’s a hernia victim and how do you scam one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:WTF is a "dud" child?

Isn't a doctor, lawyer, engineer, high-ranking executive at fortune 500 company, or college professor.

This.

Duds = teacher, nurse, government employee, etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your children turned out to be duds or on the path towards that, is it just reverting back to your family history or are they an outlier/step down?

Why did you choose to raise duds? It really was a choice and not a kind one at that.

Or did the apple just not fall far?

[Anonymous]

It means they had duds for parents.