RTO with pre-teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After school club and parents stagger hours to make the schedule work.

Yes, if your federal supervisor still permits it in TrumpWorld.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You let them walk home alone and stay at home alone. You install a keypad lock that can be unlocked remotely if need be. We have a Level lock. Get a camera for your door. Get the oldest a smart watch. Get them air tags for their backpacks. All of this (admittedly overkill) will be cheaper than aftercare and give your kids a sense of independence.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are they? It's weird you won't list their ages.

An eleven or twelve year old should be able to walk or take the bus and stay alone for an hour or so.

At that age we encouraged after school clubs plus taking the late bus home. Kid did three clubs so was only home alone for a little bit three days a week. The other two days I felt fine leaving him for a couple hours.

They’re 10.5 and 12.5. We live off a busy street, and it’s generally safe but we’ve had our share of cop cars driving around for more than standard patrolling. So, this isn’t exactly a Leave it to Beaver neighborhood. My kids have already seen someone get handcuffed. We’re not far from a major highway, either.

And yes, working a hybrid schedule was quite helpful when all I needed to do was let my kids into the house and tell them to start their homework, not do a Supermom costume switch into my secret pinafore while on the clock. It would be nice if my org was still even a tad bit flexible, but alas, it is what it is. So yep, the easiest option- let me drive home early to finish the day at home— is no longer in reach. Maybe laying all my cards on the table with my boss would help.

I find it hard to believe that anyone is going to be sympathetic to your needing to leave a 10.5 and 12.5 year old at home. You should he able to problem solve through this. Like if they are going to fight the. Require them to stay in their rooms away from each other.

I agree with this PP. OP - you don't have any cards to lay on the table. Your kids are well past the age when they should be fine to be home alone, particularly since there's two of them. If you don't have a keypad, make sure you hide a spare somewhere for when your DC inevitably loses his key or can't find it in their backpack. When my DCs first started staying home by themselves, I'd use the 'drop in' feature on Alexa to (a) know they're there and (b) make them confirm they locked the door once they got in. As the years went on, they gained more independence and I stopped checking in on them. My youngest was 12 last year and at that point had been coming home by herself since the 4th grade, although her older sibling was in the 7th grade and got home first.

[Anonymous]

And if the road was really that dangerous, the school would provide a bus.

We used to live in an area with a busy street and no crosswalk. Our neighborhood got a bus even though we were technically close enough to walk.

[Anonymous]

Also if you are walk zone, all the walkers get dismissed and walk at the same time. Cars would see all the kids.

[Anonymous]

I quit my job for middle school, but that was our plan all along (I didn’t SAH during the baby/toddler years).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I quit my job for middle school, but that was our plan all along (I didn’t SAH during the baby/toddler years).

I found middle school to be the most challenging for both kid and parent.

Puberty, friend shifting, vaping, drugs, sports….

[Anonymous]

OP, I think everyone is being too hard on you - several unattended hours after school in middle school is a lot. And it sounds like you are somewhere this could be a problem. In Maryland 12.5 is not old enough to babysit, but is old enough to be home alone. Can you hire someone a few days a week - maybe offering some flexibility to the person you hire would help and then either the kids are alone a few days or you ask to finish your days at home a few days? This would decrease your cost. You could possibly ask for someone to do some household tasks. I think taking the financial hit is better than giving up your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think everyone is being too hard on you - several unattended hours after school in middle school is a lot. And it sounds like you are somewhere this could be a problem. In Maryland 12.5 is not old enough to babysit, but is old enough to be home alone. Can you hire someone a few days a week - maybe offering some flexibility to the person you hire would help and then either the kids are alone a few days or you ask to finish your days at home a few days? This would decrease your cost. You could possibly ask for someone to do some household tasks. I think taking the financial hit is better than giving up your job.

I don’t know any middle schoolers with a babysitter. A middle school child is capable of being home with a 10yo sibling!

I do know parents who hire drivers, tutors and housekeepers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And if the road was really that dangerous, the school would provide a bus.

We used to live in an area with a busy street and no crosswalk. Our neighborhood got a bus even though we were technically close enough to walk.

No! We live in a busy area, no sidewalks, crossing two major roads where two people have been killed alone this summer and we don't get the bus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think everyone is being too hard on you - several unattended hours after school in middle school is a lot. And it sounds like you are somewhere this could be a problem. In Maryland 12.5 is not old enough to babysit, but is old enough to be home alone. Can you hire someone a few days a week - maybe offering some flexibility to the person you hire would help and then either the kids are alone a few days or you ask to finish your days at home a few days? This would decrease your cost. You could possibly ask for someone to do some household tasks. I think taking the financial hit is better than giving up your job.

Middle schoolers do not need babysitting!! This is wild to think so. They might need drivers. Or tutors. But someone to sit in the house with them? That is insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I know in this situation have after school Nannie’s or au pairs

Op here. Considering our salaries, I’d quit before getting an au pair or nanny. My take home after paying for that kind of support would be about $2k. I can find a much less demanding part time job for that net take home.

Well it looks like you're going to be quitting your job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I know in this situation have after school Nannie’s or au pairs

Op here. Considering our salaries, I’d quit before getting an au pair or nanny. My take home after paying for that kind of support would be about $2k. I can find a much less demanding part time job for that net take home.

Well it looks like you're going to be quitting your job

I'll grab my pinafore and big gold cross. Russ Vought should love the look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think everyone is being too hard on you - several unattended hours after school in middle school is a lot. And it sounds like you are somewhere this could be a problem. In Maryland 12.5 is not old enough to babysit, but is old enough to be home alone. Can you hire someone a few days a week - maybe offering some flexibility to the person you hire would help and then either the kids are alone a few days or you ask to finish your days at home a few days? This would decrease your cost. You could possibly ask for someone to do some household tasks. I think taking the financial hit is better than giving up your job.

I don’t know any middle schoolers with a babysitter. A middle school child is capable of being home with a 10yo sibling!

I do know parents who hire drivers, tutors and housekeepers.

Fine so then call this a tutor. OP I wonder if a local HS kid might be up for this. Make some $ and they can just sit and do their homework at your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think everyone is being too hard on you - several unattended hours after school in middle school is a lot. And it sounds like you are somewhere this could be a problem. In Maryland 12.5 is not old enough to babysit, but is old enough to be home alone. Can you hire someone a few days a week - maybe offering some flexibility to the person you hire would help and then either the kids are alone a few days or you ask to finish your days at home a few days? This would decrease your cost. You could possibly ask for someone to do some household tasks. I think taking the financial hit is better than giving up your job.

I don’t know any middle schoolers with a babysitter. A middle school child is capable of being home with a 10yo sibling!

I do know parents who hire drivers, tutors and housekeepers.

Fine so then call this a tutor. OP I wonder if a local HS kid might be up for this. Make some $ and they can just sit and do their homework at your house.

+1 - I don't get this I don't know middle school kids with nanny's, but a tutor, club, or driver as childcare is somehow different? Help OP brainstorm some ideas or respond to a different thread.