RTO with pre-teens

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live that a 7th grader can’t walk home from the bus at 3pm safely?

But the answer is to keep sending them to school after care or babysitters until you feel like they can be home alone?

There isn't any middle school aftercare nor the possibility of hiring a babysitter. Our district doesn’t offer that. Clubs end early. My kids would be home alone for up to 3 hours, more if we’re in traffic. We do not know anyone to babysit. We haven’t been in our neighborhood for a decade and have cultivated deep connections. Like in many places, people generally keep to themselves. We hired a nanny before but that was when the kids were much smaller and she came through our pre-k.

Look at care.com or post on a neighborhood list serve to find a babysitter. or post on the job board of a nearby college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live that a 7th grader can’t walk home from the bus at 3pm safely?

But the answer is to keep sending them to school after care or babysitters until you feel like they can be home alone?

There isn't any middle school aftercare nor the possibility of hiring a babysitter. Our district doesn’t offer that. Clubs end early. My kids would be home alone for up to 3 hours, more if we’re in traffic. We do not know anyone to babysit. We haven’t been in our neighborhood for a decade and have cultivated deep connections. Like in many places, people generally keep to themselves. We hired a nanny before but that was when the kids were much smaller and she came through our pre-k.

Look at care.com or post on a neighborhood list serve to find a babysitter. or post on the job board of a nearby college.

Also considering asking the parents of your kids' friends what they do. They likely have the hyper local knowledge or options.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, your 5th and 7th grader can't get into the house and "survive" for like 2 hrs until you get home?

Maybe try some role play and dry-runs together to help them manage this.

Otherwise, sign them up for the nearest karate after school "camp" for a glorified version of babysitting. Cheaper than hiring a college kid or nanny (if you can find one).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live that a 7th grader can’t walk home from the bus at 3pm safely?

But the answer is to keep sending them to school after care or babysitters until you feel like they can be home alone?

There isn't any middle school aftercare nor the possibility of hiring a babysitter. Our district doesn’t offer that. Clubs end early. My kids would be home alone for up to 3 hours, more if we’re in traffic. We do not know anyone to babysit. We haven’t been in our neighborhood for a decade and have cultivated deep connections. Like in many places, people generally keep to themselves. We hired a nanny before but that was when the kids were much smaller and she came through our pre-k.

Look at care.com or post on a neighborhood list serve to find a babysitter. or post on the job board of a nearby college.

Also considering asking the parents of your kids' friends what they do. They likely have the hyper local knowledge or options.

+1. There must be some solution- there is no after school option and it’s not safe for kids to walk back by themselves? My kids could walk home by themselves from 4th grade and even stay home by themselves for a while.

[Anonymous]

Can they join clubs afterschool and stay a few days a week, so that they are not home alone for those hours every day (if you are not comfortable, I would have been ok with it at those ages, but I don't know your kids or situation).

[Anonymous]

12 year olds can be babysitters. I remember paying my next door neighbor to watch my then 5yo.

Your kids should be able to come home after school and have a snack.

[Anonymous]

My 10.5 and 12.5 yr olds would be so mad and embarrassed if I hired a babysitter for them - especially for a mere 2 hrs after school until I got home at 5/530.

C'mon Op.

[Anonymous]

After school club and parents stagger hours to make the schedule work.

[Anonymous]

I would try to find a part time sitter. Some friends had this - picked up the kids, got them home, did homework (at least start), snacks, get them ready for evening activity (the kids were younger than yours, but keep them on track with reminders “you have baseball at 6, so get as much homework done as possible and have a good snack/early dinner”). If sitter needs more hours see if they would do errands/put away groceries, meal prep, kid laundry. Our friends found their sitter on care.com or one of those sites. I found one for just a couple days a week thru church.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live that a 7th grader can’t walk home from the bus at 3pm safely?

But the answer is to keep sending them to school after care or babysitters until you feel like they can be home alone?

There isn't any middle school aftercare nor the possibility of hiring a babysitter. Our district doesn’t offer that. Clubs end early. My kids would be home alone for up to 3 hours, more if we’re in traffic. We do not know anyone to babysit. We haven’t been in our neighborhood for a decade and have cultivated deep connections. Like in many places, people generally keep to themselves. We hired a nanny before but that was when the kids were much smaller and she came through our pre-k.

Can one of you go in early? My middle schooler gets home at 2:30 and I get home at 4:30, and I don't even have a particulary early schedule. I work 7:30 to 4 with a relatively short commute thanks to carpooling. If I started my day earlier, I could be home by 3:30.

[Anonymous]

You let them walk home alone and stay at home alone. You install a keypad lock that can be unlocked remotely if need be. We have a Level lock. Get a camera for your door. Get the oldest a smart watch. Get them air tags for their backpacks. All of this (admittedly overkill) will be cheaper than aftercare and give your kids a sense of independence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are they? It's weird you won't list their ages.

An eleven or twelve year old should be able to walk or take the bus and stay alone for an hour or so.

At that age we encouraged after school clubs plus taking the late bus home. Kid did three clubs so was only home alone for a little bit three days a week. The other two days I felt fine leaving him for a couple hours.

They’re 10.5 and 12.5. We live off a busy street, and it’s generally safe but we’ve had our share of cop cars driving around for more than standard patrolling. So, this isn’t exactly a Leave it to Beaver neighborhood. My kids have already seen someone get handcuffed. We’re not far from a major highway, either.

And yes, working a hybrid schedule was quite helpful when all I needed to do was let my kids into the house and tell them to start their homework, not do a Supermom costume switch into my secret pinafore while on the clock. It would be nice if my org was still even a tad bit flexible, but alas, it is what it is. So yep, the easiest option- let me drive home early to finish the day at home— is no longer in reach. Maybe laying all my cards on the table with my boss would help.

I find it hard to believe that anyone is going to be sympathetic to your needing to leave a 10.5 and 12.5 year old at home. You should he able to problem solve through this. Like if they are going to fight the. Require them to stay in their rooms away from each other.

[Anonymous]

I would ask a counselor at the high school if you can post for a job opportunity for an older teen to come stay with them. If they can get home alone, and you are ok with them being home for a bit until the teen gets there, this could work.

[Anonymous]

Why do you think your kids are too old for a nanny? Mine are entering sixth (twins) and while we don't have a nanny during the school year any more because we still both work from home, we do have one in the summer. She's young and does the same sport as them but also takes them to the pool, trampoline place, ropes course, movies, etc. We'd probably still have our last nanny if she hadn't moved when her husband was transferred to another base just because she was amazing and made our lives so much easier.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you need someone everyday. I may try to find a babysitter/driver if they are in any activities or sports.

I’m a SAHM. I actually found the upper elementary and middle school years to be the most busy in terms of driving kids. Kids move to more competitive teams that practice more frequently. Middle school ends early and my kid(s) had to be driven to various practices daily.

If your kids don’t need to be driven, there is no reason why your kids can’t walk home and be home for 2 hours.