Senior in college has never dated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys are more shy now

They're not shy. They're addicted to porn and video games.

That's sad and likely true but why it stops them from dating? That's still fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guys are more shy now

They're not shy. They're addicted to porn and video games.

That's sad and likely true but why it stops them from dating? That's still fun.

It takes effort.

[Anonymous]

Dating requires effort and luck.

[Anonymous]

Look at it from today's male perspective. If I talk to her, then she might accuse me of harassing her, or worse: assaulting her. I don't know what will happen, and I am not going to risk it. It isn't worth it. You laugh or roll your eyes, but this is how men today OF ALL AGES are approaching women. As a radioactive zone where you keep your distance. Women have done this to themselves over the last decade. That's the reality, OP.

[Anonymous]

It is senior already. Only 8 more months to go for graduation. Why bother unless the guy live in the same hometown and graduating same time. Just have fun in sr year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is senior already. Only 8 more months to go for graduation. Why bother unless the guy live in the same hometown and graduating same time. Just have fun in sr year.

Many consider dating fun. Time spent with female friends is fun but these girls have been having hanging out with close female friends for a decade or more--going to concerts, restaurants, travel, etc. There comes a time when it would be nice to do anything (coffee, drinks, movie, etc) with a guy.

[Anonymous]

My son tells me that dating in college is difficult for guys. He is the same age, with above average height, nice physique and good facial bone structure.
He says the girls at his college are mostly standoffish and interested in “ exotic” men.
We were in 3 different countries this summer. He went on many dates since the girls he met were so much more approachable and friendlier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is a rising college senior, has never dated or been asked on a date by a guy. She's pretty, thin, smart, has many female friends. Just no males interested in or pursuing her at all from age 13 to now at almost age 22. She's not interested in women.

This bothers her. I listen but I'm not sure what to say. I have two other kids who dated on and off throughout high school and college and one is close to proposing to his girlfriend.

Is she a commuter or lives at college. Its a bit easier if you live around campus with friends and hang out with young people.

Is she missing signs of interest from conventionally unhandsome men who are interested in her and instead hoping to catch attention of good looking and popular men who aren't interested in her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ooh me too. I am late 40s, happily married for 20+ years. No real dates in HS or college, though I was interested. I had lots of male “best friends” who were pining for other girls, was pretty (now looking back!) but tallish (5’9”) and didn’t know how to dress/carry myself, undiagnosed until adulthood high-masking add so rigid and inauthentic. Definitely did not give off any interest - had internalized the “don’t be needy” thing so was cool, unaffected girl. All not great for dating in retrospect!

Met my husband the summer after college in a club I was doing that meant we spent a lot of time together first and he was able to get to know the real me. Married quick and that was that.

I am happy & don’t regret not having had more experiences, but looking back I always thought I wasn’t pretty enough or there was something wrong with me. Not true, I just wasn’t letting myself be me. Things could have been very different. Ah well!

I had to double check to make sure I didn't write this pp! Similar experience, 5' 9" quiet and serious, and really high masking in retrospect. I also assumed something was just wrong with me too.

Met DH in my mid 20s at work and have been married for years. It helped me to leave home and move several states away from my family so I could be myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at it from today's male perspective. If I talk to her, then she might accuse me of harassing her, or worse: assaulting her. I don't know what will happen, and I am not going to risk it. It isn't worth it. You laugh or roll your eyes, but this is how men today OF ALL AGES are approaching women. As a radioactive zone where you keep your distance. Women have done this to themselves over the last decade. That's the reality, OP.

LOL typical boy mom nonsense, women have neutered men and that's why they are all so beta these days. What a joke!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at it from today's male perspective. If I talk to her, then she might accuse me of harassing her, or worse: assaulting her. I don't know what will happen, and I am not going to risk it. It isn't worth it. You laugh or roll your eyes, but this is how men today OF ALL AGES are approaching women. As a radioactive zone where you keep your distance. Women have done this to themselves over the last decade. That's the reality, OP.

That’s not how my sons approach women. They are able to read social cues and ask women out (in person…gasp). Some decline (many accept), but it’s all just normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son tells me that dating in college is difficult for guys. He is the same age, with above average height, nice physique and good facial bone structure.
He says the girls at his college are mostly standoffish and interested in “ exotic” men.
We were in 3 different countries this summer. He went on many dates since the girls he met were so much more approachable and friendlier.

Huh? What does “exotic men” even mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at it from today's male perspective. If I talk to her, then she might accuse me of harassing her, or worse: assaulting her. I don't know what will happen, and I am not going to risk it. It isn't worth it. You laugh or roll your eyes, but this is how men today OF ALL AGES are approaching women. As a radioactive zone where you keep your distance. Women have done this to themselves over the last decade. That's the reality, OP.

lol. Is this the story you tell yourself to feel better about having no game and being a lonely loser? All the men I know (finance bros) can’t handle the amount of women throwing themselves at them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ooh me too. I am late 40s, happily married for 20+ years. No real dates in HS or college, though I was interested. I had lots of male “best friends” who were pining for other girls, was pretty (now looking back!) but tallish (5’9”) and didn’t know how to dress/carry myself, undiagnosed until adulthood high-masking add so rigid and inauthentic. Definitely did not give off any interest - had internalized the “don’t be needy” thing so was cool, unaffected girl. All not great for dating in retrospect!

Met my husband the summer after college in a club I was doing that meant we spent a lot of time together first and he was able to get to know the real me. Married quick and that was that.

I am happy & don’t regret not having had more experiences, but looking back I always thought I wasn’t pretty enough or there was something wrong with me. Not true, I just wasn’t letting myself be me. Things could have been very different. Ah well!

I had to double check to make sure I didn't write this pp! Similar experience, 5' 9" quiet and serious, and really high masking in retrospect. I also assumed something was just wrong with me too.

Met DH in my mid 20s at work and have been married for years. It helped me to leave home and move several states away from my family so I could be myself.

I’m the PP - too funny that you had this same experience. Glad it worked out! I wish I could go back and give 18yo us a big hug and help us understand what was going on and what we needed!

[Anonymous]

I had a close friend like this. She has hang ups and was afraid that if she showed any interest in a guy they'd expect sex. She wasn't ready for that so she wouldn't ever reciprocate interest. The problem was that her lack of experience became a bigger and bigger barrier as she got older. It wasn't that far out of the norm in college, but it was waaaay hard to explain by her late 20s and then mid 30s. She's in her 40s now and finally has a boyfriend, but she missed the window for having kids and she's really sad about that. She wanted kids and a family.

If you think there are real issues stopping your daughter from forming romantic relationships, I'd encourage her to to try therapy to sort those out sooner rather than later. It doesn't get easier after college.