Senior in college has never dated
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
They're not shy. They're addicted to porn and video games. |
Anonymous
| You make it sound like she's waiting around to be pursued by men like she's some kind of prey. How is she supposed to find someone when she isn't also actively searching? How many men does she even talk to? Does she go to places or events? Does she flirt at all? I mean, OP is kind of missing a lot of details. If she goes to class then goes home and studies and never does anything then how is she even putting herself out there? Mend don't just hunt for women like a lion hunting in the savanna. There are more women attending college than men these days (I think it's something like 60/40 women/men). She has to put in some kind of effort and not just "wait to be pursued". |
Anonymous
| Same situation, except my daughter isn’t bothered. She put her education and goals first, did not let a relationship or person stand in her way. Once she achieves her goals, then maybe if she meets the right person- if not, being alone is perfectly fine |
Anonymous
| Maybe she is aromantic and/or asexual. |
Anonymous
If you read OP's post, she says that it bothers her daughter so her daughter is not ace spectrum. Honestly, it just sounds like she doesn't know how to flirt and is scared to put herself out there. Combine that with the fact that there are 3 women for every 2 men in colleges and I think it becomes pretty obvious what's going on. If she wants a liberal man, she should be putting in more effort because once she's out of college and in the real world, most of the non-college educated men are going to be right wing republicans. |
Anonymous
My brother has been the head of a medical residency program for 10 years and was recently talking about what he observes among many female residents. So many put the active pursuit of partnership on hold for the duration of their training and then find the opportunities really limited at the other end. They are age 30 and are either not dating or are dating partners with a fraction of their education. He's seen a noticeable uptick in this in recent years to the point where it is almost the norm. Some are certainly fine with being "alone" but it's not the ideal for many others. The men in his program (and there are fewer of them) are almost all married off by 30. |
Anonymous
Plenty of people achieve their goals and education with the right person by their side. Seems like your daughter can’t multitask or is asexual. |
Anonymous
| I did not date in college or high school.Was shy and not super confident. I blossomed with my looks when I hit 22 and also became more confident. After that I was asked out and went on a ton of dates from 22-32. Eventually met the one and got married. Confidence definitely plsys a role. |
Anonymous
|
This was me.
I was (hopefully still am!) a pretty girl who wasn’t hot enough to attract the good looking social guys but considered out of league for everyone else. |
Anonymous
|
Ooh me too. I am late 40s, happily married for 20+ years. No real dates in HS or college, though I was interested. I had lots of male “best friends” who were pining for other girls, was pretty (now looking back!) but tallish (5’9”) and didn’t know how to dress/carry myself, undiagnosed until adulthood high-masking add so rigid and inauthentic. Definitely did not give off any interest - had internalized the “don’t be needy” thing so was cool, unaffected girl. All not great for dating in retrospect!
Met my husband the summer after college in a club I was doing that meant we spent a lot of time together first and he was able to get to know the real me. Married quick and that was that. I am happy & don’t regret not having had more experiences, but looking back I always thought I wasn’t pretty enough or there was something wrong with me. Not true, I just wasn’t letting myself be me. Things could have been very different. Ah well! |
Anonymous
I'm OP and I was literally going to post this last night in response to the question about whether she's tall. no, not tall but it does seem like she's in that middle zone in terms of looks/appeal, especially in the age of social media. Too pretty/outgoing for the awkward guys and yet not HOT enough for the social outgoing guys. Certainly many girls like her partner up but others (she has similar friends) seem to get stuck. |
Anonymous
| I had the same experience as your daughter. After not dating at all throughout high school and college (despite being pretty, fit, smart, and social), I met my husband the summer after graduation and was married by 25. I wouldn’t worry about it. |
Anonymous
| DD about to be senior in college and also has not dated. Said major issue is guys just want to hook up after a party instead of dating. But she’s ok for now. Many girls in her situation as well. |
Anonymous
What part of "this bothers her" in OP's post did you miss? |
Anonymous
To be honest at her age (and younger,) most guys are first attracted then personality. If she's not a blonde, how about getting some highlights? or changing her style of clothes? Also, adding fun pictures (eating/traveling/going out) to her some social media accounts. Guys like to look at those. She also needs to go out... events, markets, restaurants, bars, gym, co-ed events, etc. I met my husband at a bar and we've been married for over 20 yrs. You never know! |