Why did preschool teachers care that my daughter hummed when she ate? I regret getting her to stop.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My daughter (19) will still sometimes hum happily if the food is really good. It's cute.

And this is why OP should be glad the preschool teacher encouraged her to get her daughter to stop. It’s a weird, rude, annoying habit

I’m sure you do plenty of weird, annoying things. That’s living with other people. Get over it.

Living with other people means behaving considerately. Including not humming or singing at the wrong time. Etc.

And dressing appropriately. And speaking appropriately. And walking appropriately. And ...

I have two ND kids. Yes, all of those. Don't bother other people when you behave inappropriately. And then, be aware of the consequences, even if you aren't bothering anyone.

I imagine you are a joy to live with given your strict and expansive definition of appropriate behavior.

I also have an ND kid and I agree with the PP. We don't do this harshly, and we understand our kid's ability to adjust certain behaviors may be limited and that certain behaviors won't change. But encouraging an ND kid to consider how their behavior impacts other people and to make an effort to adjust to make it easier for them to be around others is important. If they can adopt a less obtrusive stim, that will be good for everyone. It also helps build flexibility. Many ND people struggle with rigidity, so practicing flexibility from a young age is a life skill.

My spouse is also ND and I have a number of behaviors that make me wonder, though I've never been tested. We both wish we'd had the kind of parents who would have helped us work on our behaviors in a supportive, understanding way. It would have helped both of us as kids and as adults, and helped prevent some maladaptive behaviors that have been harder to break.

[Anonymous]

Many preschool teachers are just on a power trip.

[Anonymous]

Is your child on the spectrum OP? The teachers were giving you information to see if you wanted tp explore some testing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter (19) will still sometimes hum happily if the food is really good. It's cute.

And this is why OP should be glad the preschool teacher encouraged her to get her daughter to stop. It’s a weird, rude, annoying habit

I’m sure you do plenty of weird, annoying things. That’s living with other people. Get over it.

Living with other people means behaving considerately. Including not humming or singing at the wrong time. Etc.

And dressing appropriately. And speaking appropriately. And walking appropriately. And ...

I have two ND kids. Yes, all of those. Don't bother other people when you behave inappropriately. And then, be aware of the consequences, even if you aren't bothering anyone.

I imagine you are a joy to live with given your strict and expansive definition of appropriate behavior.

I also have an ND kid and I agree with the PP. We don't do this harshly, and we understand our kid's ability to adjust certain behaviors may be limited and that certain behaviors won't change. But encouraging an ND kid to consider how their behavior impacts other people and to make an effort to adjust to make it easier for them to be around others is important. If they can adopt a less obtrusive stim, that will be good for everyone. It also helps build flexibility. Many ND people struggle with rigidity, so practicing flexibility from a young age is a life skill.

My spouse is also ND and I have a number of behaviors that make me wonder, though I've never been tested. We both wish we'd had the kind of parents who would have helped us work on our behaviors in a supportive, understanding way. It would have helped both of us as kids and as adults, and helped prevent some maladaptive behaviors that have been harder to break.

+1 Thank you for your sincere, sensitive, and beautifully written post. As a former special ed teacher who has two male cousins with ASD, I agree with all you said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of the things I regret from my oldest child’s life. She’s in high school now but she went to two preschools and each time a teacher commented that she hummed when she ate lunch and snacks and that I needed to work on that with her and teach her not to. I did and she stopped humming during meals but looking back, she was just happy and enjoying her food.

What did it matter to the schools? Why should little kids not hum when they eat?

Its annoying to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many preschool teachers are just on a power trip.

The ones I know and those who have taught our children have been exceptionally kind, creative, patient, and tactful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to teach preschool and I wouldn’t have asked a parent to teach their kid to stop this. Not a choking hazard!

But..I think your dd would have stopped not long after; so try not to feel too sad. They grow up and change so much!

OP- this is the only normal, kind response. Don’t fret over this. Maybe your grandchild will hum while they eat! 😊

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe there is all this animosity towards humming. The world is changing for the worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe there is all this animosity towards humming. The world is changing for the worse.

The people with misophonia can't control themselves. They need to live in a world were they are source of "non-annoying" noises.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe there is all this animosity towards humming. The world is changing for the worse.

I’m not sure that this represents a change. Do you ever see those 1950s videos aimed at teaching school children appropriate behavior? Humming would have been stamped out asap. I suppose a difference here is that it would have been stamped out a year or two later in kindergarten instead of preschool.

[Anonymous]

I hummed to myself in class in the 50s. I was unaware I was doing it. Teacher told parent. I was told to not hum. I stopped, watching out for it.
Afaik I am NT.

[Anonymous]

My sister and my niece hum while eating. Drives me nuts.

[Anonymous]

Annoying sounds can be ignored, tolerated, and allowed by understanding adults. Unfortunately, classmates will often form negative opinions of kids who make distracting/annoying noises like humming, burping, yawning loudly, cracking knuckles, making popping or smacking noises with their mouths, farting, and drumming their fingers. These are socially unacceptable behaviors that can matter when trying to make friends at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe there is all this animosity towards humming. The world is changing for the worse.

I’m not sure that this represents a change. Do you ever see those 1950s videos aimed at teaching school children appropriate behavior? Humming would have been stamped out asap. I suppose a difference here is that it would have been stamped out a year or two later in kindergarten instead of preschool.

+1 because public preschools were not prevalent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Annoying sounds can be ignored, tolerated, and allowed by understanding adults. Unfortunately, classmates will often form negative opinions of kids who make distracting/annoying noises like humming, burping, yawning loudly, cracking knuckles, making popping or smacking noises with their mouths, farting, and drumming their fingers. These are socially unacceptable behaviors that can matter when trying to make friends at school.

You don't know any young boys.