I think autistic DS is about to be fired

[Anonymous]

OP, you didn’t reply about his specific job, but I worked at pools for years and have watched generations of kids thrive or fail in their summer jobs as a parent and pool goer.

I also have family who struggled with finding the right job fit for their autism and distinct abilities, but who have been ultimately successful. One summer job struggle doesn’t mean their life is over.

If you can share their role, I can guess at where they might be getting tripped up. And I’ll also say that I’ve seen plenty of NT kids struggle in summer jobs, especially at pools where there is a lot of responsibility but also a lot of things that need to be tackled proactively and change constantly. Whether it’s maintenance, front desk, guarding, teaching lessons, or working at a snack bar, none of the jobs are as easy or fun as they look.

[Anonymous]

OP here again. He got fired. They told him it wasn’t a good fit and that they like him very much as a person but that he created confusion among guests because he sometimes didn’t know where to direct them or how to answer their questions and that he should have caught on after a day or two. He is devastated. I think it’s useful information.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. He would probably better in a less customer facing roles. More behind the scenes if in retail. Customers are often impatient, impolite, and not very forgiving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. He got fired. They told him it wasn’t a good fit and that they like him very much as a person but that he created confusion among guests because he sometimes didn’t know where to direct them or how to answer their questions and that he should have caught on after a day or two. He is devastated. I think it’s useful information.

Very useful. Maybe next time he can study up on frequently asked questions.

[Anonymous]

So sorry, OP - at least you and he got some feedback! If at all possible, could you or he contact the manager and ask if they would be willing to record his status as “resigned position” if it comes up in future reference checks? After all, they did like him personally even if it didn’t ultimately work out!

Maybe a warehouse type position at a big box retail store, like a Best Buy or something, might be more his speed, or a data entry like job? Something less customer facing might just be the thing!

[Anonymous]

OP, people, especially young adults, get fired all the time! Maybe try not view it through the autism lens. My 18yo neurotypical kid was doing great in his longtime job until he a new manager. He went away to college, but this guy didn’t hire him for the summer, when he applied in Jan.

I would worry, too, so I get it. But, try not to catastrophize. My other kid failed a college course. The more I don’t freak out about these things, the much better for all of us.

((Hugs))

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. He got fired. They told him it wasn’t a good fit and that they like him very much as a person but that he created confusion among guests because he sometimes didn’t know where to direct them or how to answer their questions and that he should have caught on after a day or two. He is devastated. I think it’s useful information.

That’s hard but really helpful information. So he needs structure and something that includes pretty specific tasks and interactions that are predictable. If he’s old enough, cashiering might be a good fit because any interactions or exceptions are quite scripted. If he likes being outside, working at a garden center/nursery, landscaping, or cleaning/maintenance could be a good fit. Our local suburban Target employs a lot of HS aged kids who are definitely very neurodiverse and they seem to stay around for a long time, so you might consider if a role like that could work. Sometimes something that is more corporate has more guardrails.

Hopeful anecdote time: my DH is autistic and works at an extremely bureaucratic Fortune 500 company. He’s been recruited by startups and small companies relentlessly over the years, but he knows he needs the rules, structure and definition that comes with a big formal company. He’s found a ton of success staying in clearly defined roles and divisions that are more established.

[Anonymous]

Just thought of this - maybe software/hardware testing might be a possibility, depending on your location, many companies have had success with employees/interns like your son!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. He got fired. They told him it wasn’t a good fit and that they like him very much as a person but that he created confusion among guests because he sometimes didn’t know where to direct them or how to answer their questions and that he should have caught on after a day or two. He is devastated. I think it’s useful information.

That’s hard but really helpful information. So he needs structure and something that includes pretty specific tasks and interactions that are predictable. If he’s old enough, cashiering might be a good fit because any interactions or exceptions are quite scripted. If he likes being outside, working at a garden center/nursery, landscaping, or cleaning/maintenance could be a good fit. Our local suburban Target employs a lot of HS aged kids who are definitely very neurodiverse and they seem to stay around for a long time, so you might consider if a role like that could work. Sometimes something that is more corporate has more guardrails.

Hopeful anecdote time: my DH is autistic and works at an extremely bureaucratic Fortune 500 company. He’s been recruited by startups and small companies relentlessly over the years, but he knows he needs the rules, structure and definition that comes with a big formal company. He’s found a ton of success staying in clearly defined roles and divisions that are more established.

+1 this seems like a role that he was really ill-suited for unfortunately. It seems like the whole crux of it is personal interactions that aren't predictable or scripted. Doesn't mean there isn't plenty else out there

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP. I'm sorry and I know it's heart wrenching. Great information to help him to start identifying where his strengths and weaknesses lie. Please stay positive and matter of fact. I know you want to help keep his confidence intact. But don't write it off or blame the employer to protect his ego. it's a balancing act, for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again. He got fired. They told him it wasn’t a good fit and that they like him very much as a person but that he created confusion among guests because he sometimes didn’t know where to direct them or how to answer their questions and that he should have caught on after a day or two. He is devastated. I think it’s useful information.

Very useful. Maybe next time he can study up on frequently asked questions.

Maybe, but if you have a child with autism or another communication disorder you would know that often the problem is not not knowing the answer, it's understanding the question that was asked. This is one of the reasons customer service can be so hard.

I'm sorry, OP, that must have been upsetting for your kid and for you. I hope he can understand that all it means is that a different kind of job would be better matched to his skills. It doesn't mean he is a bad employee or not smart, it's just that autism makes it difficult for him to answer questions on the fly. My son (with autism and fine motor deficits) recently started doing some volunteer work in an office and they initially planned for him to make packets for conferences. He was simply unable to put the business cards in the folder pockets without ripping the pockets, and he mis-counted some papers because they were sticking together. The office pivoted and taught him to do some simple things on the computer instead, but if he had been hired for the actual packet-making job he probably would have been fired. He going to volunteer at a food bank next because I think it will be a good match.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP, it’s tough. My college student with ADHD has been fired from 2 jobs. One for being late (in addition to ADHD she has a sleep disorder that wasn’t yet diagnosed and she was oversleeping). And the other was a bubble tea place where she didn’t make it out of training because she couldn’t memorize the drink recipes/combinations fast enough - not a good fit for her!

But, she now has a job on her college campus (and has had it for a couple of years) that really suits her. She was even employee of the year this year. So it might seem overwhelming and hopeless right now, but focus on giving your son the tools that will help him be successful and counseling him to find jobs that are a better fit for him.

[Anonymous]

My autistic DD is working her first summer job right now. It's a job that fits her strengths, but we did discuss the possibility that she may be fired. Not every job fits every person. But getting out there and getting experience is good, even if it ends in firing, he'll still have learned.

[Anonymous]

OP, while it's a disappointment that he was fired, he got some useful feedback. Use that to help plan his next steps.

[Anonymous]

My ASD 23 year old college graduate would never be able to do that job. Too fluid and too many people with different needs (and he is good with people and very social). He got a job working for Amazon Logistics and although the beginning was stressful and he needed some support to learn all the rules (and I think everyone does), it is now perfect for him as it is extremely data driven and he knows exactly what to expect at all times and he is a hard worker. And he loves it. Just some perspective here as I was worried about his job prospects earlier but am a lot less worried now.