I think autistic DS is about to be fired

[Anonymous]

DS is 20, home from college, and has his first summer job at a pool. He is reliable and kind and isn't aware of anything he's done wrong, but there are several signs that he is about to get fired. I'm so worried. If he can't hold down this job, I have no idea how he will keep a job going forward. This position is not demanding. Not sure why I'm posting except to air my own anxiety. For those of you with autistic kids who are gainfully employed, can you share what types of jobs they have? Our DS doesn't have strong motor skills or technological skills, so hard labor/computer stuff is out.

[Anonymous]

Well why are they going to fire him?

[Anonymous]

Not every job is fit for every person.

This is OK. Summer pool isn't a career.

How do you even know the "signs"?

Your anxiety is the biggest concern in this post.

[Anonymous]

What is he doing at this pool? Lifeguard, entry gate or snack bar? Does he show up on time 100%?

[Anonymous]

It depends on the reason. Lateness, inattentiveness, meltdowns, social cues, whatever it is.

You need to identify a job that plays to his strengths, whatever they are.

[Anonymous]

I was fired from my first professional job, they told me to find another position elsewhere and gave me severance. I learned from that, what I had done wrong and what to do different in the future. It takes me a lot longer, A LOT LONGER, to understand the unspoken rules. DS is the same and has gotten in trouble at school a lot, learning the rules by crashing into them and learning everything the hard way.

If your DC is fired from this job, talk objectively about what went right and what went wrong, what were the unspoken rules that he picked up in and what were the ones he missed. Did his supervisor expect him to do X or not do Y, etc.

Actually, you should be having these conversations now, evaluate how the week is going, maybe have a weekly check in on Thursday or Friday. Discuss expectations, what the others are doing, job responsibilities and scheduling, etc. Review and plan. So that he can be in the habit of reviewing and evaluating and making changes if needed. Whether he keeps this job all summer or is fired or at any other jobs.

[Anonymous]

Different people are good at different jobs.

[Anonymous]

I would let whatever happens, happen. These first jobs are learning experiences. Sometimes the learning part is that you don't want to work at crummy places like that and you need to get the degree/certification for something that would be a better fit. Or he learns the importance of being on time.

What is he doing at the pool that doesn't involve motor skills? Everyone who works at my pool is a lifeguard. The lifeguards rotate into the front desk every 15 min for their time off of deck duty. Snack shop is run as a fundraiser for the swim team and they're volunteers.

[Anonymous]

I understand this is devastating for you and you have concerns about DC’s future employment.

How to avoid it becoming crushing to DC is critical. Is there another post, assignment at the pool? Is there a pro-learning differences employer nearby, Walgreen’s comes to mind.

I am really sorry. It was a victory to get the job.

[Anonymous]

Try not to catastrophize. You've said nothing here that suggests he's going to be fired, other than your own anxiety. And if he gets fired from this particular job at this particular time, that doesn't mean that he will "never" hold a job. If he does get fired, he'll need support reflecting on the possible reasons and areas for growth -- but he will grow his work skills, just like all young adults.

[Anonymous]

One thing may be not showing initiative and coming off as rude. It sucks but that is usually what it boils down to.


There are other jobs out there. Share all of the times you’ve been fired. As a teen, I have been fired.

[Anonymous]

How do you know that he is about to get let go? Has he told you about any problems at work, or has he mentioned things like “they’re cutting back hours/positions?” Has he called out “sick”/come in late more than a few times? Has he mentioned not getting along with his boss/coworkers, or blowing off assignments? We need more information here to help you (and him!)

[Anonymous]

Has the boss/manager told you in private about his issues/possibly letting him go?

[Anonymous]

I had my first couple of jobs at pools as a lifeguard and then later a swim instructor. I’ve honestly never worked in more unprofessional environments. Rampant sexual harassment, super cliquey. I think because it’s a lot of young-ish people in swimsuits that make up the bulk of employees. And I was indeed fired from one. If he does get fired don’t freak out just try and work with him on fixing whatever needs fixing. It’s a learning experience.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks to all. There have been a few concerning signs: reduced hours, being asked to come in for a separate conversation, and more. This isn’t my anxiety talking. He isn’t aware that anything has gone wrong so he’s confused. I’ve emphasized that whatever happens will be a learning opportunity and that he will get through it. Anyway - thanks again for letting me share my angst. He doesn’t know I’m feeling as I am.