Husband not “into” pregnancy

[Anonymous]

Did you pressure him into the pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Argh .
He’s probably gonna’ be a hands off father.

Counseling and if not I def wouldn’t have more kids with him.

What?!?!? Ridiculous.
My DH was like this… with each of my 6 pregnancies. 🤣 definitely turned off by my pregnant belly (always happy to resume normal frequency after delivery), and NOT into the pregnancy stuff. Never went to an ultrasound, made fun of me for being huge, etc. had to have several talks with him about being doing more around the house when I was subsequently pregnant.

But, he did when I asked. And he is an AMAZING father!

Good for you .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Argh .
He’s probably gonna’ be a hands off father.

Counseling and if not I def wouldn’t have more kids with him.

What?!?!? Ridiculous.
My DH was like this… with each of my 6 pregnancies. 🤣 definitely turned off by my pregnant belly (always happy to resume normal frequency after delivery), and NOT into the pregnancy stuff. Never went to an ultrasound, made fun of me for being huge, etc. had to have several talks with him about being doing more around the house when I was subsequently pregnant.

But, he did when I asked. And he is an AMAZING father!

No he is not your children watching your husband treat you like shit while you are preggers is not a good father

This . Thank you.
But let her eat 🙄🫠

[Anonymous]

Goodness. The people posting are married to some real loser husbands.

If he's not interested in the birth of his first child and doesn't find his wife appealing, I don't know what to say. Ok, maybe I do. You chose wrong.

[Anonymous]

Without asking or tipping him off, look around and see if he is cheating or has a bad porn habit. If he does, you can leave and move to be family support. Once the baby is out, you will be trapped in the state/area. Obviously talk to a lawyer. I am not one.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP - this must be a very difficult dynamic to deal with especially in a delicate state.

You should most definitely discuss your feelings w/your husband.
If you choose not to express your concerns now > you risk resentment building up over time that WILL have disastrous results in the future.

Nothing good ever comes from built up resentment.
Ever.

Good luck to you‼️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re never going to get your body back.

News flash: you don’t keep your body anyway. Childless women don’t all look like lithe 25 year olds their entire life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few issues. You need to communicate with him. If you weren't the type before pregnancy to want foot and back rubs, he likely has no clue you want them now. I certainly never wanted them when pregnant.

Sure, some men find pregnancy sexy. Some don't. And some are indifferent. You're getting caught up in the "fantasy " stories. Guarantee half of the posts you read aren't real. Again, talk to him.

The not going to appts is a jerk move and you need to again, talk to him to find out what's going on.

Keeping quiet and not communicating how you feel is going to lead to resentment. And it will keep happening once the kid is born. And then you'll be one of those angry women on here posting about all her resentment for her husband.

Communicate communicate communicate

That is not going to change his feelings, the true issue.

NP. In my experience talking will not make him not like pregnancy. If anything DH acted worse when I brought it up because he was ashamed but then lashed out at me to make it my fault instead of his

Your husband sounds dreadful. I can’t believe you’re still with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Argh .
He’s probably gonna’ be a hands off father.

Counseling and if not I def wouldn’t have more kids with him.

What?!?!? Ridiculous.
My DH was like this… with each of my 6 pregnancies. 🤣 definitely turned off by my pregnant belly (always happy to resume normal frequency after delivery), and NOT into the pregnancy stuff. Never went to an ultrasound, made fun of me for being huge, etc. had to have several talks with him about being doing more around the house when I was subsequently pregnant.

But, he did when I asked. And he is an AMAZING father!

Here’s another absolute turkey of a husband. Don’t try to normalize this shitty behavior. And the fact that you put up with this SIX TIMES tells us that your self-regard is in the toilet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on Team Husband.

I think it's rude that he's not going to the doctor appointments. My husband didn't go to all of them but he went to most. I'd also be annoyed with the lack of support, although it's always hard to tell what OP is doing/looking for...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few issues. You need to communicate with him. If you weren't the type before pregnancy to want foot and back rubs, he likely has no clue you want them now. I certainly never wanted them when pregnant.

Sure, some men find pregnancy sexy. Some don't. And some are indifferent. You're getting caught up in the "fantasy " stories. Guarantee half of the posts you read aren't real. Again, talk to him.

The not going to appts is a jerk move and you need to again, talk to him to find out what's going on.

Keeping quiet and not communicating how you feel is going to lead to resentment. And it will keep happening once the kid is born. And then you'll be one of those angry women on here posting about all her resentment for her husband.

Communicate communicate communicate

That is not going to change his feelings, the true issue.

NP. In my experience talking will not make him not like pregnancy. If anything DH acted worse when I brought it up because he was ashamed but then lashed out at me to make it my fault instead of his

Your husband sounds dreadful. I can’t believe you’re still with him.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s not interested in hearing about it and he’s not very supportive. He’s not the type to off to rub my feet or my back. I go to all of my dr appointments alone.

It’s also obvious that he doesn’t find the bump attractive. I’ve heard on poignancy boards that of men find it sexy when their wives are pregnant and feel possessive. They’re turned on by knowing they’ve knocked up their wives. They’re can’t help their hands off their wives

I think we’ve had sex like a handful of times since I got pregnant. He’s clearly uncomfortable with it the bigger i get.

Should I tell him that all this is hurting my feelings or just keep quiet and hope things go back to normal once the baby is born and I get my body back?

I suspect your husband displayed insensitive, unsupportive behavior prior to your pregnancy. Does he have issues with anger? Talk to a therapist and book a foot massage.Don’t bother bringing issue up with him. Sex is the least of your problems if he is not interested in hearing about your pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It makes me so sad to hear “get my body back”. He should love you and your body no matter what. He should revere it for what you are doing.
Just keep on going and know you will probably have to do more than you thought.

Ideally he should but telling him that isn’t realistically going to change anything. People can’t help what they find attractive. To a lot of men, pregnancy = mom and mommy isn’t sexy.

[Anonymous]

OP, my husband was similar. I think the belly - especially in the third tri when he could feel it moving from the outside - turned him off. I can’t really say that I blame him, I thought it was kind of weird or awkward to be having sex then too, tbh.

We have 3 kids, he only ever came to the 20 week ultrasounds, he never got into the pregnancy “tidbits” (like “your baby is the size of a plum this week” stuff), he barely took any paternity leave (although to be fair to him, that was less of a trend back then).

But he is an AMAZING father. Probably better than I am as a mother, tbh. He was always one of those dads who got down on the floor to play. He’s very nurturing by nature. He’ll help the kids study for hours if need be.

Some men have no experience with babies and so they get freaked out. It doesn’t mean he is cheating or won’t be a good dad.

[Anonymous]

None of this sounds concerning without additional context.