TJ kid and suspecting hidden disability

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

OP is the kind of parent who simultaneously wants to claim their child is disabled yet totally functionally unaffected. Hence we are expected to believe he refuses to study yet is doing fine academically… at TJ. and he has serious social issues but they are all masked so he has no problem making friends.

It sounds possibly like the kid has some rigidity, maybe anxiety, but it sounds a LOT more like OP has anxiety and a lack of understanding of normal childhood development.

I've posted previously about the refusal for hygiene without the school details and every single response was the kid has special needs on that detail alone.

Kid chose to self-studied a full year of math last summer, repeatedly fought about getting the work done before the deadline, but did complete the work and got a perfect score on the SOL. Kid is very gifted. That doesn't mean there aren't real issues.

I've faced so much judgement over the years about the rigidity, food refusal, inability to sleep through the night for a decade, the works. It's funny how I finally express my concerns and everyone wants to immediately shut it down.

I’m probably going to get flamed. Getting a perfect score on an SOL isn’t “highly gifted” for TJ. There a many kids who ace the SAT & SAT subject tests, go to international math & programming competitions, and make bio fuel & mutate plants before even getting there……..and kids past that.
The exams at TJ are beyond what is at regular high school. For instance, in high school classes teacher would give them all the info needed to ace the test. In TJ, half of the exams are problems they have never seen that they have to “think through”. It can be frustrating for some students.
If your kid is study adverse and rigid, I could see it being frustrating. Not from intelligence. I don’t know your kid. Just style. Freshman year is the easiest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here have experience with suspecting a disability in high school?

Signs:
Food aversions (from a very young age)
Refusal to study
Struggles with social anxiety in certain situations
Avoidance of daily living tasks

The kid is obviously very bright so none of this came out until TJ is now pushing academic limits. Kid masks very very well. Appears very social, no problem making friends.

Where do you start with testing? Do I ask the school?

Perhaps transfer your kid back to their home school. Running people close to the upper bounds of their coping ability is a poor choice.

To succeed long term, people have to enjoy life, school, work enough to find meaning in going forward.

This may not be a question of what diagnosis your child may have. It may be about whether they are in the right environment to foster their growth.

Kid is actually doing fine academically, but the signs I mentioned are not improving despite attempting many at home techniques and hiring an executive coach. Sending back to the home school will allow the behaviors to continue.

Also adding that kid expressed that they would not be opposed to testing and also felt that ADHD might be an issue, but after recognizing kid was the only one in a big group to not eat a very popular food. It sort of dawned on me this behavior is pretty outside the norm.

“doesn’t like tacos” is not a DSM criteria for any disorder. Any DSM diagnosis is supposed to pose a significant clinical challenge in their life. What is the significant issue here?

Tacos is about the only thing the kid eats. There are 3 or so items the kid eats from specific brands and usually it's repeatedly for years on end. As a young child it was one kind of Mac and cheese for about 3 years. These days it's plain burgers. We can't go to random restaurants. Kid will not eat the food.

I have to give kid at least a weeks notice regarding schedule changes. Used to be a few days and expanded to a week after a recent incident that I took kid to a new activity with several days notice. Kid enjoyed activity but that was the new demand.

Kid will not brush teeth or face despite complaining about acne. Usually doesn't shower more than once a week despite being involved in daily athletics. When asked kid will lie or refuse. Prefers lies to refusal.

Natural consequences. Kid can be hungry. Kid can have acne.

As for the schedule stuff it seems like you are too sensitive to him. So he complains that you decided to change weekend plans on Wednesday. Ignore. Alternatively he can just stay home if he doesn’t want to go - again natural consequences.

if HE is bringing up any of this stuff as causing him distress then sure, look into more ways to support him.

Ignore this poster, they have no idea how disability works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

Kid doesn't want to go back to base school. I agree that refusal to study is not going to work long term at TJ or in college. Sending kid back to base will not solve the refusal to study but it will enable the behavior to continue. I didn't realize this wasn't just a I-dont-need-study but a much more strong refusal akin to the food aversion also akin to the needs a week notification about schedule changes. It seems like this is getting beyond average teenage stubbornness. It's definitely a pattern that permeates all aspects of life.

I have a kid with autism and a high IQ. The refusal to study is most likely a reaction to your kid feeling stressed/anxious/afraid he can't understand the material and not wanting to feel that way. It's anxiety and a freeze-up so he doesn't have to endure feeling confused/uncomfortable. It is incredibly common in autistic kids. If the content were easy, he probably wouldn't be afraid to study. (He might not *need* to study either). The solution is usually to scale things down so they feel less resistance/fear. For example, easier classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here have experience with suspecting a disability in high school?

Signs:
Food aversions (from a very young age)
Refusal to study
Struggles with social anxiety in certain situations
Avoidance of daily living tasks

The kid is obviously very bright so none of this came out until TJ is now pushing academic limits. Kid masks very very well. Appears very social, no problem making friends.

Where do you start with testing? Do I ask the school?

Perhaps transfer your kid back to their home school. Running people close to the upper bounds of their coping ability is a poor choice.

To succeed long term, people have to enjoy life, school, work enough to find meaning in going forward.

This may not be a question of what diagnosis your child may have. It may be about whether they are in the right environment to foster their growth.

Kid is actually doing fine academically, but the signs I mentioned are not improving despite attempting many at home techniques and hiring an executive coach. Sending back to the home school will allow the behaviors to continue.

Also adding that kid expressed that they would not be opposed to testing and also felt that ADHD might be an issue, but after recognizing kid was the only one in a big group to not eat a very popular food. It sort of dawned on me this behavior is pretty outside the norm.

“doesn’t like tacos” is not a DSM criteria for any disorder. Any DSM diagnosis is supposed to pose a significant clinical challenge in their life. What is the significant issue here?

Tacos is about the only thing the kid eats. There are 3 or so items the kid eats from specific brands and usually it's repeatedly for years on end. As a young child it was one kind of Mac and cheese for about 3 years. These days it's plain burgers. We can't go to random restaurants. Kid will not eat the food.

I have to give kid at least a weeks notice regarding schedule changes. Used to be a few days and expanded to a week after a recent incident that I took kid to a new activity with several days notice. Kid enjoyed activity but that was the new demand.

Kid will not brush teeth or face despite complaining about acne. Usually doesn't shower more than once a week despite being involved in daily athletics. When asked kid will lie or refuse. Prefers lies to refusal.

Natural consequences. Kid can be hungry. Kid can have acne.

As for the schedule stuff it seems like you are too sensitive to him. So he complains that you decided to change weekend plans on Wednesday. Ignore. Alternatively he can just stay home if he doesn’t want to go - again natural consequences.

if HE is bringing up any of this stuff as causing him distress then sure, look into more ways to support him.

Ignore this poster, they have no idea how disability works.

sure I do. IF the child actually has a disability then the goal is to move towards functionality and independence and that includes natural consequences. There is no medication that makes a kid brush their teeth but there are behavioral methods that OP can access now regardless of any diagnosis. She’s describing an infective parenting style where she expects much but gives no support. People seem to believe there is some magic in labeling a kid as “neurodivergent” that actually produces some kind of tangible result. sorry no, does not work that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

Kid doesn't want to go back to base school. I agree that refusal to study is not going to work long term at TJ or in college. Sending kid back to base will not solve the refusal to study but it will enable the behavior to continue. I didn't realize this wasn't just a I-dont-need-study but a much more strong refusal akin to the food aversion also akin to the needs a week notification about schedule changes. It seems like this is getting beyond average teenage stubbornness. It's definitely a pattern that permeates all aspects of life.

I have a kid with autism and a high IQ. The refusal to study is most likely a reaction to your kid feeling stressed/anxious/afraid he can't understand the material and not wanting to feel that way. It's anxiety and a freeze-up so he doesn't have to endure feeling confused/uncomfortable. It is incredibly common in autistic kids. If the content were easy, he probably wouldn't be afraid to study. (He might not *need* to study either). The solution is usually to scale things down so they feel less resistance/fear. For example, easier classes.

I don’t disagree with you, but I also don’t really trust OP’s narrative. She describes the kid as being motivated (eg to self study math over the summer) but refusing to study, yet then somehow finishing and acing the test. So I really think it may be she is just trying to control how he studies, which is apparently actually effective for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does not sound at all like ADHD. It might be helpful to look into anxiety. You already suspect anxiety in social situations. The other issues could be manifestations of more generalized anxiety. Agree about arfid/feeding therapy. That may help.

Anxiety is always included with an ADHD/autistic profile, PP. I highly doubt this teen is "just" presenting with anxiety, without at least some executive dysfunction.

And yet this kid is doing fine in a competitive school setting that requires high executive functioning skills. His executive functioning issues, if it's that, are only occurring in one setting, at home. High IQ can get you good test scores without studying (though apparently this kid did study), but it can't help you complete assignments and turn them in on time or remember which tests are coming up.

There are lots of high IQ kids with ADHD. Would not surprise me if there were far more than 3-4 at TJ, but those kids are going to either have been flagged and are getting assistance for the ADHD (meds + accommodations) or likely have someone in their life helping them extensively with tasks that involve executive function skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

Kid doesn't want to go back to base school. I agree that refusal to study is not going to work long term at TJ or in college. Sending kid back to base will not solve the refusal to study but it will enable the behavior to continue. I didn't realize this wasn't just a I-dont-need-study but a much more strong refusal akin to the food aversion also akin to the needs a week notification about schedule changes. It seems like this is getting beyond average teenage stubbornness. It's definitely a pattern that permeates all aspects of life.

I have a kid with autism and a high IQ. The refusal to study is most likely a reaction to your kid feeling stressed/anxious/afraid he can't understand the material and not wanting to feel that way. It's anxiety and a freeze-up so he doesn't have to endure feeling confused/uncomfortable. It is incredibly common in autistic kids. If the content were easy, he probably wouldn't be afraid to study. (He might not *need* to study either). The solution is usually to scale things down so they feel less resistance/fear. For example, easier classes.

I don’t disagree with you, but I also don’t really trust OP’s narrative. She describes the kid as being motivated (eg to self study math over the summer) but refusing to study, yet then somehow finishing and acing the test. So I really think it may be she is just trying to control how he studies, which is apparently actually effective for him.

I guess you missed the part where kid volunteered to teach themselves math, didn't actually do the work then did all of the work right before the deadline and got a perfect score.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does not sound at all like ADHD. It might be helpful to look into anxiety. You already suspect anxiety in social situations. The other issues could be manifestations of more generalized anxiety. Agree about arfid/feeding therapy. That may help.

Anxiety is always included with an ADHD/autistic profile, PP. I highly doubt this teen is "just" presenting with anxiety, without at least some executive dysfunction.

And yet this kid is doing fine in a competitive school setting that requires high executive functioning skills. His executive functioning issues, if it's that, are only occurring in one setting, at home. High IQ can get you good test scores without studying (though apparently this kid did study), but it can't help you complete assignments and turn them in on time or remember which tests are coming up.

There are lots of high IQ kids with ADHD. Would not surprise me if there were far more than 3-4 at TJ, but those kids are going to either have been flagged and are getting assistance for the ADHD (meds + accommodations) or likely have someone in their life helping them extensively with tasks that involve executive function skills.

By study I mean outside of class. Kid shows up to class. Kid does not complete homework assignments at all or on time unless it's done in class (which is the new model of school). One class this year required outside work and teacher alerted me only once kid was behind 6 assignments. Despite me stepping in and taking over kid continued to lie about completing assignments. I've continued to have to micromanage this one class. So for just one class kid has not shown any improvement in being able to manage alone. For every class kid will not spend even 10 minutes preparing for an exam. Tried rewards, tried punishments.

[Anonymous]

This has to be fake. Why is the child let out of the house without showering or brushing their teeth? This is insane.

[Anonymous]

Could he have OCD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does not sound at all like ADHD. It might be helpful to look into anxiety. You already suspect anxiety in social situations. The other issues could be manifestations of more generalized anxiety. Agree about arfid/feeding therapy. That may help.

Anxiety is always included with an ADHD/autistic profile, PP. I highly doubt this teen is "just" presenting with anxiety, without at least some executive dysfunction.

And yet this kid is doing fine in a competitive school setting that requires high executive functioning skills. His executive functioning issues, if it's that, are only occurring in one setting, at home. High IQ can get you good test scores without studying (though apparently this kid did study), but it can't help you complete assignments and turn them in on time or remember which tests are coming up.

There are lots of high IQ kids with ADHD. Would not surprise me if there were far more than 3-4 at TJ, but those kids are going to either have been flagged and are getting assistance for the ADHD (meds + accommodations) or likely have someone in their life helping them extensively with tasks that involve executive function skills.

By study I mean outside of class. Kid shows up to class. Kid does not complete homework assignments at all or on time unless it's done in class (which is the new model of school). One class this year required outside work and teacher alerted me only once kid was behind 6 assignments. Despite me stepping in and taking over kid continued to lie about completing assignments. I've continued to have to micromanage this one class. So for just one class kid has not shown any improvement in being able to manage alone. For every class kid will not spend even 10 minutes preparing for an exam. Tried rewards, tried punishments.

So he is having issues in school. You need an evaluation for him. It's usually most cost effective to start with your ped and see what the ped recommends in regards to referrals. Your ped may be able to evaluate your son, which is cheaper, or they may refer you to a neuropsych, which will run about 5k.

It seems like every time someone on here responds with skepticism, you respond with a story that sounds (imo) legit but contradicts your prior statements. I'm guessing that your kid may be having issues in more areas than you realize, but it's become so normalized for you, that you may not even recognize them as problems. An evaluation will help you go over these things in a comprehensive manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does not sound at all like ADHD. It might be helpful to look into anxiety. You already suspect anxiety in social situations. The other issues could be manifestations of more generalized anxiety. Agree about arfid/feeding therapy. That may help.

Anxiety is always included with an ADHD/autistic profile, PP. I highly doubt this teen is "just" presenting with anxiety, without at least some executive dysfunction.

And yet this kid is doing fine in a competitive school setting that requires high executive functioning skills. His executive functioning issues, if it's that, are only occurring in one setting, at home. High IQ can get you good test scores without studying (though apparently this kid did study), but it can't help you complete assignments and turn them in on time or remember which tests are coming up.

There are lots of high IQ kids with ADHD. Would not surprise me if there were far more than 3-4 at TJ, but those kids are going to either have been flagged and are getting assistance for the ADHD (meds + accommodations) or likely have someone in their life helping them extensively with tasks that involve executive function skills.

By study I mean outside of class. Kid shows up to class. Kid does not complete homework assignments at all or on time unless it's done in class (which is the new model of school). One class this year required outside work and teacher alerted me only once kid was behind 6 assignments. Despite me stepping in and taking over kid continued to lie about completing assignments. I've continued to have to micromanage this one class. So for just one class kid has not shown any improvement in being able to manage alone. For every class kid will not spend even 10 minutes preparing for an exam. Tried rewards, tried punishments.

So he is having issues in school. You need an evaluation for him. It's usually most cost effective to start with your ped and see what the ped recommends in regards to referrals. Your ped may be able to evaluate your son, which is cheaper, or they may refer you to a neuropsych, which will run about 5k.

It seems like every time someone on here responds with skepticism, you respond with a story that sounds (imo) legit but contradicts your prior statements. I'm guessing that your kid may be having issues in more areas than you realize, but it's become so normalized for you, that you may not even recognize them as problems. An evaluation will help you go over these things in a comprehensive manner.

Where did I contradict myself?

Evaluation, understood. Trying to get an idea for if treatment even works especially on executive function issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could he have OCD?

Two people on my side of the family have OCD, so yes its a possibility. As a non-professional, it's not easy for me to know if that's part of it. Kid has a weird thing with only drinking one kind of water (so beyond the food stuff there is a thing about not liking tap water and recently only one preferred brand of water). I don't know if again it's an aversion, fear of the unknown, fear of bacteria...I'm not able to get answers about certain behaviors like that.

I don't see repetitive behaviors other than being rigid about routines and schedules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could he have OCD?

Two people on my side of the family have OCD, so yes its a possibility. As a non-professional, it's not easy for me to know if that's part of it. Kid has a weird thing with only drinking one kind of water (so beyond the food stuff there is a thing about not liking tap water and recently only one preferred brand of water). I don't know if again it's an aversion, fear of the unknown, fear of bacteria...I'm not able to get answers about certain behaviors like that.

I don't see repetitive behaviors other than being rigid about routines and schedules.

Get him evaluated ASAP. What does your pediatrician say? OCD can get dealt with pretty effectively at a young age. Get a full neurosych if you can afford it. Something is going on and you need to try and figure it out before he graduates from HS and still lives at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

Kid doesn't want to go back to base school. I agree that refusal to study is not going to work long term at TJ or in college. Sending kid back to base will not solve the refusal to study but it will enable the behavior to continue. I didn't realize this wasn't just a I-dont-need-study but a much more strong refusal akin to the food aversion also akin to the needs a week notification about schedule changes. It seems like this is getting beyond average teenage stubbornness. It's definitely a pattern that permeates all aspects of life.

I have a kid with autism and a high IQ. The refusal to study is most likely a reaction to your kid feeling stressed/anxious/afraid he can't understand the material and not wanting to feel that way. It's anxiety and a freeze-up so he doesn't have to endure feeling confused/uncomfortable. It is incredibly common in autistic kids. If the content were easy, he probably wouldn't be afraid to study. (He might not *need* to study either). The solution is usually to scale things down so they feel less resistance/fear. For example, easier classes.

I don’t disagree with you, but I also don’t really trust OP’s narrative. She describes the kid as being motivated (eg to self study math over the summer) but refusing to study, yet then somehow finishing and acing the test. So I really think it may be she is just trying to control how he studies, which is apparently actually effective for him.

I guess you missed the part where kid volunteered to teach themselves math, didn't actually do the work then did all of the work right before the deadline and got a perfect score.

And …?