TJ kid and suspecting hidden disability

[Anonymous]

It sounds like classic ADHD/autism profile. One of my kids is like this. Academics and TJ have nothing to do with this, OP. Lots of kids are diagnosed in high school. Get him a full neurospychological evaluation. I recommend Stixrud.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think testing through the school will reveal much if his issues are not academic, and you are unlikely to get the services he needs from an IEP. If he wants to change, maybe look into arfid treatment/feeding therapy, occupational therapy for sensory issues, and ways to make eating a hygiene easier (perhaps there's a kind of soap, washcloth, toothpaste, mouthwash, etc that is more tolerable?). Cognitive behavioral therapy might be worth a try too. If he wants to go the testing and medication route that's an option if insurance will cover or you can pay out of pocket. At his age, he really needs to buy in to anything. If he wants to stay at TJ, great. If going to his home school will reduce his stress or give him more time to work on his sensory/mental health issues and he wants that, I would encourage him.

My kid receives accommodations for an unrelated condition that would be the same for ADHD so this isn't about school accommodations or performance. It's more about quality of life and acts of daily living that aren't being done.

I've tried the "at home" solutions that worked at younger ages - e.g. choice on types of toothpaste, getting a tooth brush of choice, special skin care that was requested. Standing and watching daily activities, rewards, punishments really the works. Nothing has worked to get change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like classic ADHD/autism profile. One of my kids is like this. Academics and TJ have nothing to do with this, OP. Lots of kids are diagnosed in high school. Get him a full neurospychological evaluation. I recommend Stixrud.

Thanks for the recommendation

[Anonymous]

Does not sound at all like ADHD. It might be helpful to look into anxiety. You already suspect anxiety in social situations. The other issues could be manifestations of more generalized anxiety. Agree about arfid/feeding therapy. That may help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like classic ADHD/autism profile. One of my kids is like this. Academics and TJ have nothing to do with this, OP. Lots of kids are diagnosed in high school. Get him a full neurospychological evaluation. I recommend Stixrud.

Thanks for the recommendation

+1 CAAT is also very good

Don't be afraid of an autism diagnosis. It won't change who your kid is but will help him to understand himself and deal effectively with mental health issues that arise. If you don't know you are neurodivergent it is difficult to understand or cope with your anxiety (which is basically unavoidable for a neurodivergent person in this world).

[Anonymous]

I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here have experience with suspecting a disability in high school?

Signs:
Food aversions (from a very young age)
Refusal to study
Struggles with social anxiety in certain situations
Avoidance of daily living tasks

The kid is obviously very bright so none of this came out until TJ is now pushing academic limits. Kid masks very very well. Appears very social, no problem making friends.

Where do you start with testing? Do I ask the school?

Perhaps transfer your kid back to their home school. Running people close to the upper bounds of their coping ability is a poor choice.

To succeed long term, people have to enjoy life, school, work enough to find meaning in going forward.

This may not be a question of what diagnosis your child may have. It may be about whether they are in the right environment to foster their growth.

Kid is actually doing fine academically, but the signs I mentioned are not improving despite attempting many at home techniques and hiring an executive coach. Sending back to the home school will allow the behaviors to continue.

Also adding that kid expressed that they would not be opposed to testing and also felt that ADHD might be an issue, but after recognizing kid was the only one in a big group to not eat a very popular food. It sort of dawned on me this behavior is pretty outside the norm.

“doesn’t like tacos” is not a DSM criteria for any disorder. Any DSM diagnosis is supposed to pose a significant clinical challenge in their life. What is the significant issue here?

Tacos is about the only thing the kid eats. There are 3 or so items the kid eats from specific brands and usually it's repeatedly for years on end. As a young child it was one kind of Mac and cheese for about 3 years. These days it's plain burgers. We can't go to random restaurants. Kid will not eat the food.

I have to give kid at least a weeks notice regarding schedule changes. Used to be a few days and expanded to a week after a recent incident that I took kid to a new activity with several days notice. Kid enjoyed activity but that was the new demand.

Kid will not brush teeth or face despite complaining about acne. Usually doesn't shower more than once a week despite being involved in daily athletics. When asked kid will lie or refuse. Prefers lies to refusal.

Natural consequences. Kid can be hungry. Kid can have acne.

As for the schedule stuff it seems like you are too sensitive to him. So he complains that you decided to change weekend plans on Wednesday. Ignore. Alternatively he can just stay home if he doesn’t want to go - again natural consequences.

if HE is bringing up any of this stuff as causing him distress then sure, look into more ways to support him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

OP is the kind of parent who simultaneously wants to claim their child is disabled yet totally functionally unaffected. Hence we are expected to believe he refuses to study yet is doing fine academically… at TJ. and he has serious social issues but they are all masked so he has no problem making friends.

It sounds possibly like the kid has some rigidity, maybe anxiety, but it sounds a LOT more like OP has anxiety and a lack of understanding of normal childhood development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

Kid doesn't want to go back to base school. I agree that refusal to study is not going to work long term at TJ or in college. Sending kid back to base will not solve the refusal to study but it will enable the behavior to continue. I didn't realize this wasn't just a I-dont-need-study but a much more strong refusal akin to the food aversion also akin to the needs a week notification about schedule changes. It seems like this is getting beyond average teenage stubbornness. It's definitely a pattern that permeates all aspects of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

OP is the kind of parent who simultaneously wants to claim their child is disabled yet totally functionally unaffected. Hence we are expected to believe he refuses to study yet is doing fine academically… at TJ. and he has serious social issues but they are all masked so he has no problem making friends.

It sounds possibly like the kid has some rigidity, maybe anxiety, but it sounds a LOT more like OP has anxiety and a lack of understanding of normal childhood development.

I've posted previously about the refusal for hygiene without the school details and every single response was the kid has special needs on that detail alone.

Kid chose to self-studied a full year of math last summer, repeatedly fought about getting the work done before the deadline, but did complete the work and got a perfect score on the SOL. Kid is very gifted. That doesn't mean there aren't real issues.

I've faced so much judgement over the years about the rigidity, food refusal, inability to sleep through the night for a decade, the works. It's funny how I finally express my concerns and everyone wants to immediately shut it down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone here have experience with suspecting a disability in high school?

Signs:
Food aversions (from a very young age)
Refusal to study
Struggles with social anxiety in certain situations
Avoidance of daily living tasks

The kid is obviously very bright so none of this came out until TJ is now pushing academic limits. Kid masks very very well. Appears very social, no problem making friends.

Where do you start with testing? Do I ask the school?

Perhaps transfer your kid back to their home school. Running people close to the upper bounds of their coping ability is a poor choice.

To succeed long term, people have to enjoy life, school, work enough to find meaning in going forward.

This may not be a question of what diagnosis your child may have. It may be about whether they are in the right environment to foster their growth.

Kid is actually doing fine academically, but the signs I mentioned are not improving despite attempting many at home techniques and hiring an executive coach. Sending back to the home school will allow the behaviors to continue.

Also adding that kid expressed that they would not be opposed to testing and also felt that ADHD might be an issue, but after recognizing kid was the only one in a big group to not eat a very popular food. It sort of dawned on me this behavior is pretty outside the norm.

“doesn’t like tacos” is not a DSM criteria for any disorder. Any DSM diagnosis is supposed to pose a significant clinical challenge in their life. What is the significant issue here?

Tacos is about the only thing the kid eats. There are 3 or so items the kid eats from specific brands and usually it's repeatedly for years on end. As a young child it was one kind of Mac and cheese for about 3 years. These days it's plain burgers. We can't go to random restaurants. Kid will not eat the food.

I have to give kid at least a weeks notice regarding schedule changes. Used to be a few days and expanded to a week after a recent incident that I took kid to a new activity with several days notice. Kid enjoyed activity but that was the new demand.

Kid will not brush teeth or face despite complaining about acne. Usually doesn't shower more than once a week despite being involved in daily athletics. When asked kid will lie or refuse. Prefers lies to refusal.

Natural consequences. Kid can be hungry. Kid can have acne.

As for the schedule stuff it seems like you are too sensitive to him. So he complains that you decided to change weekend plans on Wednesday. Ignore. Alternatively he can just stay home if he doesn’t want to go - again natural consequences.

if HE is bringing up any of this stuff as causing him distress then sure, look into more ways to support him.

Kid is bringing up that it's causing distress but at the same time refusing to do what kid admits is the solution to solve the distress and can't verbalize why.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the many trolls on this thread.

Yes, a person can succeed academically and still be neurodivergent. Many neurodivergent people do succeed academically while their mental health suffers enormously. I spent high school borderline suicidal because I couldn't pay attention in class, so I learned all the material at night while I flipped out at mom anytime she interrupted me. Don't let your kid wait until they are 40 get support to be who they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

OP is the kind of parent who simultaneously wants to claim their child is disabled yet totally functionally unaffected. Hence we are expected to believe he refuses to study yet is doing fine academically… at TJ. and he has serious social issues but they are all masked so he has no problem making friends.

It sounds possibly like the kid has some rigidity, maybe anxiety, but it sounds a LOT more like OP has anxiety and a lack of understanding of normal childhood development.

I've posted previously about the refusal for hygiene without the school details and every single response was the kid has special needs on that detail alone.

Kid chose to self-studied a full year of math last summer, repeatedly fought about getting the work done before the deadline, but did complete the work and got a perfect score on the SOL. Kid is very gifted. That doesn't mean there aren't real issues.

I've faced so much judgement over the years about the rigidity, food refusal, inability to sleep through the night for a decade, the works. It's funny how I finally express my concerns and everyone wants to immediately shut it down.

who was stopping you from getting him assessed before? To those of us who had kids who couldn’t just pretend to ignore things (and who do not have kids who just get into TJ and have lots of friends) your narrative is just really off. maybe there’s something he could use professional support about but it sounds like you haven’t even tried to inform yourself about some basic ways to handle things like homework struggles. Plus your kid seems to be doing fine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does not sound at all like ADHD. It might be helpful to look into anxiety. You already suspect anxiety in social situations. The other issues could be manifestations of more generalized anxiety. Agree about arfid/feeding therapy. That may help.

Anxiety is always included with an ADHD/autistic profile, PP. I highly doubt this teen is "just" presenting with anxiety, without at least some executive dysfunction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid who went to TJ and had a 504. At least when kid was there, there was maybe 3 or 4 kids with disabilities per year. (I don’t know if that has been increased…..) Your list seems it can be over come, except “refusal to study”. That’s a pretty BIG one. What does your kid want? Do they want to stay at TJ? Approx 10% of each freshman class transfer back to their local high school after year 1.

While TJ isn’t the 2am up every night hotbox people make it out to be, “refusal to study” wouldn’t work no matter who the kid was. Even the kids that go to MIT have to study and do homework. I would argue the super advanced kids have to do even more work because they get put into post-AP classes early.
In terms of college acceptances, being from TJ isn’t an advantage so if your kid doesn’t want to do the work, just place them back in their local high school.

OP is the kind of parent who simultaneously wants to claim their child is disabled yet totally functionally unaffected. Hence we are expected to believe he refuses to study yet is doing fine academically… at TJ. and he has serious social issues but they are all masked so he has no problem making friends.

It sounds possibly like the kid has some rigidity, maybe anxiety, but it sounds a LOT more like OP has anxiety and a lack of understanding of normal childhood development.

I've posted previously about the refusal for hygiene without the school details and every single response was the kid has special needs on that detail alone.

Kid chose to self-studied a full year of math last summer, repeatedly fought about getting the work done before the deadline, but did complete the work and got a perfect score on the SOL. Kid is very gifted. That doesn't mean there aren't real issues.

I've faced so much judgement over the years about the rigidity, food refusal, inability to sleep through the night for a decade, the works. It's funny how I finally express my concerns and everyone wants to immediately shut it down.

That's classic autism with high IQ (that nearly always comes with ADHD and anxiety, BTW). I thought people knew this.

The reason you're getting pushback is that a lot of DCUM posters are going to react negatively to a TJ post, and any high-achieving academic kid in general. There's a little reactionary thing going on with that on DCUM. They feel threatened somehow. Here it's socially acceptable to push your kid in sports to the brink of severe injuries, but forget about it if your kid is a math, robotics or chess whiz.