Pausing career to SAHM for a bit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You won't regret it.

Your kids are the most amazing thing you will ever create.

Trust me, that once they are teens and young adults leaving home, you will look back not regret one moment you put them first.

I have never met a mom who looked at her adult children and wished that she had spent more time at her job and less time with her kids.

If you are able to tighten the family budget to spend a few precious years with them while they are young, either as a full time stay at home mom, or through a part time or flexible gig job, do it. It might be hard in the moment, but you won't regret it looking backwards.

This. I took over a decade off. You won't regret it.
We were careful with money at the beginning and then spouse's career took off. By the end, I went back less because of career/money and more because the kids were becoming independent and I wanted something stimulating to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You won't regret it.

Your kids are the most amazing thing you will ever create.

Trust me, that once they are teens and young adults leaving home, you will look back not regret one moment you put them first.

I have never met a mom who looked at her adult children and wished that she had spent more time at her job and less time with her kids.

If you are able to tighten the family budget to spend a few precious years with them while they are young, either as a full time stay at home mom, or through a part time or flexible gig job, do it. It might be hard in the moment, but you won't regret it looking backwards.

This is not true if your spouse leaves you and you have no money or loses his job and you had only one source of income. I know lots of women heading into retirement age who have no money of their own, are trapped in some situation and wish they had been paid for all of the years they devoted themselves to running the Girl Scouts or PTA. I also know plenty of moms who worked outside the home and have no regrets about those decisions.

If you are planning your martia3ge and life to prepare for divorce, then you probably should not have married to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on your reason. Nothing kills your career more than keeping a job you hate where you are struggling to succeed due to juggling the household and kids at the same time. Leaving it and staying home with kids and then returning back with a new outlook is better for your career. Sometimes taking a break to leave toxic situation produces more rewards long term than keeping yourself in a rat race that's killing your drive and making you hate life.

No, it really isn’t. It’s much much easier to find a job when you already have one.

The job market doesn’t treat unemployed candidates well, especially if they’ve even out of the workforce for years.

[Anonymous]

Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

That’s definitely not universally true. My kids have told me that they love that I’m a SAHM. On the flip side I also know of kids who wish that their parents were around more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

That’s definitely not universally true. My kids have told me that they love that I’m a SAHM. On the flip side I also know of kids who wish that their parents were around more.

And I had a mother who was the first partner in her firm. Her kids and grandkids are very close with her and immensely proud that she was able to have such a successful professional career while being a wonderful mother. Some women are capable of more than homemaking, you don’t need to guilt trip them that someday their children will wish they were around more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

This is something people tell themselves to make them feel better about choosing work over their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really depends A LOT on what industry you are in.

This. And for many jobs there is no guarantees one will ever be able to go back to original field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

That’s definitely not universally true. My kids have told me that they love that I’m a SAHM. On the flip side I also know of kids who wish that their parents were around more.

My kids have told me that the daughters of SAHMs have fewer academic aspirations and the sons think women aren’t as smart as men, so I’m sticking with my professional career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

This is something people tell themselves to make them feel better about choosing work over their kids.

I choose to work because I love my kids and want to provide for them, their disabled father is unable to do so. I suppose I should feel bad for not having your life, you sound quite smug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

That’s definitely not universally true. My kids have told me that they love that I’m a SAHM. On the flip side I also know of kids who wish that their parents were around more.

My kids have told me that the daughters of SAHMs have fewer academic aspirations and the sons think women aren’t as smart as men, so I’m sticking with my professional career.

This is a real issue. My sister and her husband met in law school, she’s been a SAHM since the kids were born. All of them think that dad is the smart intellectual one and mom just does the cooking, even though mom was law review and dad was lucky to get a job through family. It’s painful to watch.

[Anonymous]

Almost all of my most high achieving Asians friends had SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

That’s definitely not universally true. My kids have told me that they love that I’m a SAHM. On the flip side I also know of kids who wish that their parents were around more.

And I had a mother who was the first partner in her firm. Her kids and grandkids are very close with her and immensely proud that she was able to have such a successful professional career while being a wonderful mother. Some women are capable of more than homemaking, you don’t need to guilt trip them that someday their children will wish they were around more.

And so it begins...

[Anonymous]

Each one of my own SAHM's kids earned a post graduate degree in STEM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just an FYI, if they’re little when you SAHM, your kids won’t remember a thing. And even if they’re old enough to remember, they won’t care that you SAHM for them. So this has to be something that you yourself find value in doing, because no one else will care about you staying home or about any sacrifices you make financially and career-wise to do so.

That’s definitely not universally true. My kids have told me that they love that I’m a SAHM. On the flip side I also know of kids who wish that their parents were around more.

And I had a mother who was the first partner in her firm. Her kids and grandkids are very close with her and immensely proud that she was able to have such a successful professional career while being a wonderful mother. Some women are capable of more than homemaking, you don’t need to guilt trip them that someday their children will wish they were around more.

And so it begins...

You’re cool with pages of people saying it’s better to be a SAHM but one person’s personal experience with a professional mom is not ok?