Pausing career to SAHM for a bit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Few physicians I know, had to go into research or academia because it was tough to get back into clinical practice.

There are so many places in the country that need more physicians! They should move to one of those places when they are ready to get back into the workforce.

Presumably, they have a spouse that is also working (and maybe that spouse's job needs to be in specific areas, or isn't needed in these areas that need physicians.)
Also, if your kids are already settled in schools and with friends, it's hard to move them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You won't regret it.

Your kids are the most amazing thing you will ever create.

Trust me, that once they are teens and young adults leaving home, you will look back not regret one moment you put them first.

I have never met a mom who looked at her adult children and wished that she had spent more time at her job and less time with her kids.

If you are able to tighten the family budget to spend a few precious years with them while they are young, either as a full time stay at home mom, or through a part time or flexible gig job, do it. It might be hard in the moment, but you won't regret it looking backwards.

This is not true if your spouse leaves you and you have no money or loses his job and you had only one source of income. I know lots of women heading into retirement age who have no money of their own, are trapped in some situation and wish they had been paid for all of the years they devoted themselves to running the Girl Scouts or PTA. I also know plenty of moms who worked outside the home and have no regrets about those decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it worth it? regrets? Did you have a fairly easy time getting back into a job in the area?

Thank you!

It can be a mindf*** to lose that identity, but I have no regrets. The best decision I made was to keep freelancing for about 10 hours per week (after spending 1 year with the baby not working at all), because it made it infinitely easier to get back into the working world later.

[Anonymous]

I stayed home for a year and just found it incredibly boring. After running multiple projects at my office it wasn’t very stimulating to devote all of my mental energy to feeding schedules and laundry. Plus I worked so hard in school for so many years it seemed like such a waste to not later capitalize on that. At different times I had a more flexible schedule but I really loved working professionally and would have had a hard time getting back in if I had stayed out for much longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Few physicians I know, had to go into research or academia because it was tough to get back into clinical practice.

Why? If they completed the required training and practiced clinical medicine before, it shouldn’t be hard to get back into it after staying a home for a few years.

After more than 5 years, it gets hard. After 10, harder unless you go do another residency or fellowship or move to a rural area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Few physicians I know, had to go into research or academia because it was tough to get back into clinical practice.

There are so many places in the country that need more physicians! They should move to one of those places when they are ready to get back into the workforce.

Presumably, they have a spouse that is also working (and maybe that spouse's job needs to be in specific areas, or isn't needed in these areas that need physicians.)
Also, if your kids are already settled in schools and with friends, it's hard to move them.

This^ and if you have a high earning spouse and family is settled in a convenient area, its not easy to get up and leave and long distance during DH's midlife and children's teen years often ends up ruining the life you initially sacrificed for.

[Anonymous]

I've no regret at all, it worked wonders for whole family's mental health. Only issue is that society stops seeing your worth so if that matters to you, reconsider. If not and you feel secure in your marriage and finances, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it worth it? regrets? Did you have a fairly easy time getting back into a job in the area?

Thank you!

Worth it to be with my kid? Absolutely. 100%. I LOVED the baby + little kid days and being home after primary school.

But, yes, I have regrets about not going back sooner. Our financial situation has changed and I can.not.find.a.job.

[Anonymous]

If you can earn high enough to delegate most of house chores and childcare and still have money left to justify the job, it makes more sense to keep the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've no regret at all, it worked wonders for whole family's mental health. Only issue is that society stops seeing your worth so if that matters to you, reconsider. If not and you feel secure in your marriage and finances, go for it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've no regret at all, it worked wonders for whole family's mental health. Only issue is that society stops seeing your worth so if that matters to you, reconsider. If not and you feel secure in your marriage and finances, go for it.

And if you work as you need the money not because you wan to then society feels your husband is a dead beat

[Anonymous]

Depends on your reason. Nothing kills your career more than keeping a job you hate where you are struggling to succeed due to juggling the household and kids at the same time. Leaving it and staying home with kids and then returning back with a new outlook is better for your career. Sometimes taking a break to leave toxic situation produces more rewards long term than keeping yourself in a rat race that's killing your drive and making you hate life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've no regret at all, it worked wonders for whole family's mental health. Only issue is that society stops seeing your worth so if that matters to you, reconsider. If not and you feel secure in your marriage and finances, go for it.

+1

Totally agree. Even in threads discussing it people are looked down on immediately for even considering stepping out.

The bottom line is there can be regrets for all major decisions. Unlike PP who knows NO working moms who regret working I know plenty. Just like I know SAHMs who regret staying home as long as they did. We all make decisions based on what is best for our families based on what we know at the time.

[Anonymous]

In the tech field here and it was moderately easy to get back in the field after 6 years away.

Easiest way I found was to lie. I filled in the gap with parttime work at various temp agencies. They have high turnover and terrible recordkeeping.

After I edited my resume to include work at temp agencies during the 6-year gap, interviews started rolling in. This is a tip I saw on Reddit and it's one I share all the time.

Hiring managers love to hear "I decided to reduce my workload to focus on my family for a bit, but I still wanted to work parttime to keep my skills and stay current in the trends in this field."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've no regret at all, it worked wonders for whole family's mental health. Only issue is that society stops seeing your worth so if that matters to you, reconsider. If not and you feel secure in your marriage and finances, go for it.

And if you work as you need the money not because you wan to then society feels your husband is a dead beat

People judge others to justify their own choices.