Husband told me he doesn’t like my cooking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden… Ugh! I’d inquire as to what changed.
Also, maybe suggest he cook. Or simply cook for yourself.

We just got married. We lived together while engaged but he was gone most weeks for work. He‘s in a different job and now we eat dinner together every night.

He can’t and doesn’t care to cook. He has no interest in ever trying.

This is a very bad sign in the relationship. Cooking is an expression of love, and if he doesn’t have any interest in trying at least to help you cutting vegetables, start preparing the exit.

Terrible take. Profoundly stupid. Pp, try to take some perspective.

*Some* people love coming and use it to express love. Other people loathe cooking with a passion and do the bare minimum to survive.

The issue is that cooking is a necessary chore. DH is refusing to do the hateful, necessary chore, sticking Op will all of it, then complaining about how she does it. That’s the problem.

OP, look at chores as a whole. Is he doing half? If not, suggest that he learn to grill. Grilling is a culturally (though not inherently) masculine activity. If he doesn’t like what you cook, he can grill summer steaks and corn on the cob. Chop raw veggies and he’s made a meal. Once he knows how to grill, have him graduate to sheet pan meals. Start with chicken breasts, cut in half so they cook in 25 min, same as the veggies.

Is he’s not willing to learn simple cooking, and he’s not doing at least half the work, he can pick up other chores so you have more time to cook.

Another consideration: getting good takes awhile. My DH often seasons our food for me, because he’s so much better at it. I will spend 25 minutes cooking a soup. DH tastes a taste at the end and spends two minutes adjusting the flavors. If DH doesn’t like your flavors, he’s welcome to add the spices. It’s a very quick step, I’m just terrible at it.

He does his fair share. I cook and he cleans the kitchen. We both do laundry and clean spaces as needed. We both grocery shop depending on who has a less busier week. I feel it’s pretty fair.

[Anonymous]

How about try a food kit service for a few months (a couple meals a week).

He can pick the meals and you can cook them with him helping and watching or at least keeping you company. Or at a minimum doing all the dishes.

From these experiments, you may be able to find recipes you can replicate and may train yourself a bit.

And if he picks the meals, it's on him if he doesn't like the overall taste unless you burned it.

We liked Marley Spoon the best. You can usually see recipes for the subscription meals on their websites.

These meals are no.bargain, but with a promo offer you could try a month or so for a reasonable cost.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's just me but....what he said doesn't sound that bad. DH and I cook pretty 50/50 and are honest with each other about recipes we don't like. Why waste time cooking it again when the other doesn't like it? It sounds like he likes most things except for a few which come down to either how you season it or how you cook it. I hate chicken breasts when they are chewy and rubbery. It grosses me out. I rarely cook with them because of this. The taco meat? Ok....use less cumin. DH uses less paprika in one of his recipes for my preferences.

[Anonymous]

What kind of eggs do you make? The cheap egg cookers (<$20) do a good job of making soft-boiled eggs reliably.

If scrambled or omelets, you need to practice the desired consistency until the operations are natural to repeat. Read a bunch of cookbooks and practice a couple methods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There must be be an article from the 1950s that you can google that will give you advice.

This. Write to Ann Landers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about try a food kit service for a few months (a couple meals a week).

He can pick the meals and you can cook them with him helping and watching or at least keeping you company. Or at a minimum doing all the dishes.

From these experiments, you may be able to find recipes you can replicate and may train yourself a bit.

And if he picks the meals, it's on him if he doesn't like the overall taste unless you burned it.

We liked Marley Spoon the best. You can usually see recipes for the subscription meals on their websites.

These meals are no.bargain, but with a promo offer you could try a month or so for a reasonable cost.

I’ve tried those meal kits. He didn’t like them because he said they were super repetitive, had seasonings he wouldn’t eat, and he highly the portions were small. It’s also pretty expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of eggs do you make? The cheap egg cookers (<$20) do a good job of making soft-boiled eggs reliably.

If scrambled or omelets, you need to practice the desired consistency until the operations are natural to repeat. Read a bunch of cookbooks and practice a couple methods.

This is a preference. I like my eggs a little well done. He likes them a little runny. I like aged boiled eggs jelly inside and he likes them super runny or hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First: You were taken "aback".

Second: This is a tale as old as time, on your part and his. He pretends to like your cooking because he loves you. Finally he can't stand it anymore, so he confesses. You are hurt. He is sorry he hurt you. You learn to cook more to his liking over time. It's a process. No one screwed up here.

Or he can learn to cook. Lazy loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden… Ugh! I’d inquire as to what changed.
Also, maybe suggest he cook. Or simply cook for yourself.

We just got married. We lived together while engaged but he was gone most weeks for work. He‘s in a different job and now we eat dinner together every night.

He can’t and doesn’t care to cook. He has no interest in ever trying.

Honestly, I would never marry a man with an attitude like that. You got a dud, throw him back in the pond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about try a food kit service for a few months (a couple meals a week).

He can pick the meals and you can cook them with him helping and watching or at least keeping you company. Or at a minimum doing all the dishes.

From these experiments, you may be able to find recipes you can replicate and may train yourself a bit.

And if he picks the meals, it's on him if he doesn't like the overall taste unless you burned it.

We liked Marley Spoon the best. You can usually see recipes for the subscription meals on their websites.

These meals are no.bargain, but with a promo offer you could try a month or so for a reasonable cost.

I’m the pp who’s a mediocre cook at best, and I can’t believe I didn’t suggest this. This is exactly how I learned to cook. We did Hello Fresh about 8 or 9 years ago. I can’t speak to how they do it today, but at that time, all of the meals were made from scratch and came with a recipe card. We started a series of binders and kept every single recipe. Each recipe is in a clear page protector and the binders are arranged by protein. Each time we use a recipe, we take it out of the binder. After cooking, we put return the recipe to the binder, placing it in the front. Over time, the best recipes filter to the front half of the binder.

Many of the recipes use similar methods. Over time, you’ll learn flexible patterns that you can implement with a wide variety of ingredients. This is how I learned to make sheet pan meals and sautéed proteins with a pan sauce. They might send a Mexican spice pack, but spice blends are easy to buy. Avoid services that send premade sauces. They want to keep you dependent. Your goal is to graduate from meal delivery service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about try a food kit service for a few months (a couple meals a week).

He can pick the meals and you can cook them with him helping and watching or at least keeping you company. Or at a minimum doing all the dishes.

From these experiments, you may be able to find recipes you can replicate and may train yourself a bit.

And if he picks the meals, it's on him if he doesn't like the overall taste unless you burned it.

We liked Marley Spoon the best. You can usually see recipes for the subscription meals on their websites.

These meals are no.bargain, but with a promo offer you could try a month or so for a reasonable cost.

I’ve tried those meal kits. He didn’t like them because he said they were super repetitive, had seasonings he wouldn’t eat, and he highly the portions were small. It’s also pretty expensive.

I just saw this. I’m sorry. If he’s wanting more variety than you can deliver, he needs to take over researching new recipes. Agree on limits to the time and the number of ingredients you will work with. (If you’re willing to cook for 45 minutes, tell him 35 or 40, because new recipes always take longer than you think.)

He can also use chatGPT to write easy recipes. To get variety, he needs to ask for multiple recipes at the same time. For example, if he wants a chicken crock pot recipe, he needs to ask AI for seven easy chicken crock pot recipes. Then he chooses one that works for both of you.

Here a sample prompt:

Please give me seven easy chicken crock pot recipes. They should be flavorful and delicious. No olives. No paprika. I need four servings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take turns. You eat what the other makes and appreciate it, that's how it works.

He doesn’t cook and has no interest in learning.

Then he can shut up and eat what you make without complaining, or you cook for yourself. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

do you work?

[Anonymous]

OP, I can see this being bad or not so bad depending on how he said it. You are relaying it in a very almost cold way and I'm not sure if that he how he communicated it or how you perceived it.

I will say, I do most of the cooking because I don't really trust my husband to (and I am the pickier eater) and my husband does not praise my cooking all that much. That said, he happily eats whatever is available and does not complain. I am fine with it because I get to cook whatever I want to eat, so it works.

I think it is normal for your husband to not like all your cooking but it's his attitude that is raising some red flags. If both spouses are working and you don't love cooking, then cooking is a chore. If he doesn't want to help with that chore, then he doesn't get to complain about the results, simple as that. It would be like me making my husband clean the toilet and refuse to help but criticizing how he is doing it. As you will learn, to have a successful marriage, either help/do it yourself or don't complain about how it gets done. And honestly, nobody should be picky about food if they are not willing to make themselves a freaking meal. What a failure on you MIL's part.

[Anonymous]

Pp adding that I have two young sons and I would be so mortified if they behaved like this in their future marriages. So this is my daily reminder to raise them right.