Husband told me he doesn’t like my cooking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First: You were taken "aback".

Second: This is a tale as old as time, on your part and his. He pretends to like your cooking because he loves you. Finally he can't stand it anymore, so he confesses. You are hurt. He is sorry he hurt you. You learn to cook more to his liking over time. It's a process. No one screwed up here.

^This.

[Anonymous]

Can you be more specific? Is the issue that you aren’t cooking meals he enjoys or that he likes the meals but not your version?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden… Ugh! I’d inquire as to what changed.
Also, maybe suggest he cook. Or simply cook for yourself.

We just got married. We lived together while engaged but he was gone most weeks for work. He‘s in a different job and now we eat dinner together every night.

He can’t and doesn’t care to cook. He has no interest in ever trying.

This is a very bad sign in the relationship. Cooking is an expression of love, and if he doesn’t have any interest in trying at least to help you cutting vegetables, start preparing the exit.

[Anonymous]

He told his new wife he doesn't like her cooking and refuses to cook himself?

What year is this? Did you marry Pete Campbell?

[Anonymous]

Don't listen to the shrews here. The sky is not falling, and your husband is not an ahole. My wife did cook more to my liking over time, but what ALSO happened is that my palate developed over time to like a much broader range of dishes, thanks to her.

[Anonymous]

What does he want to do, OP? If he doesn’t like your cooking and doesn’t want to cook, what does he want? Is he accustomed to take out and frozen meals and wants to eat that? Or is he asking you to cook differently?

I married a man who is a terrible cook and has no interest. His taste buds were pretty hooked on fast food when we got married, and I had to basically say I wasn’t going to good heart attack on a plate every meal, and I didn’t want to eat take out every meal. So he agreed that not everything he ate had to be his favorite. Sometimes food could be just for nutrition, and he didn’t have to love it. That opened the door to more vegetables, etc.

He never said he didn’t like my cooking, so maybe it’s a different issue, but I think what your husband may be missing is that it’s okay to not love dinner. Love the cook, love the company, and the food can just be food.

[Anonymous]

Did he have specifics? DH and I have some different tastes so sometimes we cook our own things. Sounds like you rarely cooked for him when you lived together. Do you cook with a certain spice he doesn't like? Bland? Food he doesn't like?

I think it's fine to have input. It's not fine to have a blanket "I don't like what you're cooking" statement. Have him start helping you. Take a cooking class together.

[Anonymous]

What does he not like about your cooking? Is your technique bad? Is the food under seasoned? Overseasoned? You like Midwestern comfort food and he likes more varied stuff?

Second thing is…cooking is a life skill. He needs to have at least 5 dishes he can cook because, well, life. It can be simple stuff - spaghetti with jarred sauce and roasted veggies, burgers and salad, air fryer chicken, etc. Him not cooking will piss you off over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you be more specific? Is the issue that you aren’t cooking meals he enjoys or that he likes the meals but not your version?

I think a little of both. I’m the best cook but I at least try. Sometimes I make a meal and it doesn’t turn out as good as the last time or right.

I always ask him what he wants to eat for the upcoming week so I can plan and have dinner ready when he’s home.

He likes some things I make but not others. Pasta. Pasta salad. Lasagna. Chili. Roast and roasted chicken he likes. He hates my meatloaf, tacos, oatmeal, eggs, and chicken breasts. I’ve noticed chicken breast are difficult and always come out chewy and rubbery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does he want to do, OP? If he doesn’t like your cooking and doesn’t want to cook, what does he want? Is he accustomed to take out and frozen meals and wants to eat that? Or is he asking you to cook differently?

I married a man who is a terrible cook and has no interest. His taste buds were pretty hooked on fast food when we got married, and I had to basically say I wasn’t going to good heart attack on a plate every meal, and I didn’t want to eat take out every meal. So he agreed that not everything he ate had to be his favorite. Sometimes food could be just for nutrition, and he didn’t have to love it. That opened the door to more vegetables, etc.

He never said he didn’t like my cooking, so maybe it’s a different issue, but I think what your husband may be missing is that it’s okay to not love dinner. Love the cook, love the company, and the food can just be food.

I’m not sure. I made meatloaf and it was not good. Weird texture. He admitted he doesn’t like several of the things I make. Some for lack of seasoning, too much seasoning, and some for weird texture.

He will help prep ingredients but he doesn’t like cooking and won’t try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he have specifics? DH and I have some different tastes so sometimes we cook our own things. Sounds like you rarely cooked for him when you lived together. Do you cook with a certain spice he doesn't like? Bland? Food he doesn't like?

I think it's fine to have input. It's not fine to have a blanket "I don't like what you're cooking" statement. Have him start helping you. Take a cooking class together.

He told me specific meals he didn’t like and for what reason. I agreed with some. I will make a meatloaf and it’s delicious but then bad the next time. Idk why.

He hates the way I cook taco meat. Finds it too bland and nothing like the takeout place he likes. Some other things he finds unseasoned. I don’t season most steamed veggies but he’s used to a ton of butter and seasoning on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden… Ugh! I’d inquire as to what changed.
Also, maybe suggest he cook. Or simply cook for yourself.

We just got married. We lived together while engaged but he was gone most weeks for work. He‘s in a different job and now we eat dinner together every night.

He can’t and doesn’t care to cook. He has no interest in ever trying.

Too bad. He needs to learn how to cook. Why are you doing all the cooking, assuming you are employed, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden… Ugh! I’d inquire as to what changed.
Also, maybe suggest he cook. Or simply cook for yourself.

We just got married. We lived together while engaged but he was gone most weeks for work. He‘s in a different job and now we eat dinner together every night.

He can’t and doesn’t care to cook. He has no interest in ever trying.

This is a very bad sign in the relationship. Cooking is an expression of love, and if he doesn’t have any interest in trying at least to help you cutting vegetables, start preparing the exit.

Terrible take. Profoundly stupid. Pp, try to take some perspective.

*Some* people love coming and use it to express love. Other people loathe cooking with a passion and do the bare minimum to survive.

The issue is that cooking is a necessary chore. DH is refusing to do the hateful, necessary chore, sticking Op will all of it, then complaining about how she does it. That’s the problem.

OP, look at chores as a whole. Is he doing half? If not, suggest that he learn to grill. Grilling is a culturally (though not inherently) masculine activity. If he doesn’t like what you cook, he can grill summer steaks and corn on the cob. Chop raw veggies and he’s made a meal. Once he knows how to grill, have him graduate to sheet pan meals. Start with chicken breasts, cut in half so they cook in 25 min, same as the veggies.

Is he’s not willing to learn simple cooking, and he’s not doing at least half the work, he can pick up other chores so you have more time to cook.

Another consideration: getting good takes awhile. My DH often seasons our food for me, because he’s so much better at it. I will spend 25 minutes cooking a soup. DH tastes a taste at the end and spends two minutes adjusting the flavors. If DH doesn’t like your flavors, he’s welcome to add the spices. It’s a very quick step, I’m just terrible at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does he not like about your cooking? Is your technique bad? Is the food under seasoned? Overseasoned? You like Midwestern comfort food and he likes more varied stuff?

Second thing is…cooking is a life skill. He needs to have at least 5 dishes he can cook because, well, life. It can be simple stuff - spaghetti with jarred sauce and roasted veggies, burgers and salad, air fryer chicken, etc. Him not cooking will piss you off over time.

He sore adventurous. I don’t eat fish, turkey, or pork. Only chicken and beef. He likes all of these. We both hate sushi so that’s a plus.

I cook a lot of things. The most frequent are

- Meatloaf. He likes the taste but sometimes the texture is weird.

- Roasted chicken and veggies. He likes this.

- Pasta. I’ve made from scratch sauce and also jarred. He likes both.

- Burgers. Likes.

- Salisbury steak. Likes it but sometimes I add too much bread crumbs and it gets dry.

- Chili. He likes.

- Chicken breast. I try to make various marinated chicken with veggies and a carb ( he hates my mashed potatoes. Says they’re dry and gluey). Most of time the texture is chewy and rubbery.

- Tacos. He doesn’t like the meat. Too much cumin for his taste.

- Chicken thighs. He likes it.

I try to make other foods but stick with the basics most weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden… Ugh! I’d inquire as to what changed.
Also, maybe suggest he cook. Or simply cook for yourself.

We just got married. We lived together while engaged but he was gone most weeks for work. He‘s in a different job and now we eat dinner together every night.

He can’t and doesn’t care to cook. He has no interest in ever trying.

Too bad. He needs to learn how to cook. Why are you doing all the cooking, assuming you are employed, too?

He doesn’t cook and doesn’t like to. I work from home or get home earlier when I go into work. It’s easier for me to cook than wait until he gets home at like 7/8 to eat.