interesting post in fbook group that caused a fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Never in a million years will a grandchild of mine live in a homeless shelter or in their car or whatever if I have the means to prevent that. My God.

And your kids will live with you for the rest of your lives, completely dependent because they know you will keep helping no matter what. And the cycle will continue with the grandchildren too. All bad decisions just mean for help and less personal responsibility.

I’ve known a ton of people, many in my family, that had children much too young and received family support and are doing just fine now. I really don’t understand why you think helping someone —> cyclic, generational dependence.

[Anonymous]

My grandparents cut off my parents when they became pregnant with me. I can't begin to tell you the harm it caused....my grandmother came to all of us in her 80s crying and apologizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Never in a million years will a grandchild of mine live in a homeless shelter or in their car or whatever if I have the means to prevent that. My God.

And your kids will live with you for the rest of your lives, completely dependent because they know you will keep helping no matter what. And the cycle will continue with the grandchildren too. All bad decisions just mean for help and less personal responsibility.

I’ve known a ton of people, many in my family, that had children much too young and received family support and are doing just fine now. I really don’t understand why you think helping someone —> cyclic, generational dependence.

They're just a troll, that's all, looking to spread nastiness online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP is a troll who is sock-puppetting his or her own thread with hateful rhetoric.

what are you talking about? I’m the OP and I made several comments on people’s comments because I disagree that this situation should be basically celebrated. But ok.

The hope everyone should have for their children is that they go to college or pursue a trade and become successful adults that don’t need their parents support well into adulthood. Having a baby as a teenager with absolutely no goals for yourself is not the way to do it. I cannot believe how accepting some of you are of this nonsense. This couple clearly got pregnant 100% on purpose with absolutely no means to support a child. And I would guess it’s because the boy knows his parents would help, and that’s probably why he did it in the first place.

[Anonymous]

OP you think caring for an innocent human baby is "celebrating" teen pregnancy? Are you crazy?

[Anonymous]

Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again.

I am so surprised a bunch of moms who are barely done raising kids are so willing to start over again from scratch. Are we just servants for life with no life of our own or personal aspirations? I guess so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look at what Kamala Harris' mother did when her little sister Maya got pregnant in her senior year of high school. The entire family rallied around her and fully supported her. Because of the stability and acceptance she received, she was able to graduate from Stanford Law, and raised a child that graduated from Harvard Law. Throwing your young family members to the wolves in the most vulnerable period of their life is so weird and hateful to me.

so is doing something stupid that is completely preventable.

Well, what’s done is done. I don’t disagree with you. But now what? Throw your grandchild out with the bath water? Or get over your preconceived notions of how your child’s life would turn out and continue to help them become as successful and happy as possible? Which includes helping provide for your grandchild?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again.

I am so surprised a bunch of moms who are barely done raising kids are so willing to start over again from scratch. Are we just servants for life with no life of our own or personal aspirations? I guess so.

I don’t think anyone would be excited about it, no. But would you cut off your child and your grandchild just because you were ready to start traveling the world and retire? Like, sorry guys, enjoy living out of your car, I was willing to pay for your apartment when you were single but not when you’re living there with your child and girlfriend? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again.

I am so surprised a bunch of moms who are barely done raising kids are so willing to start over again from scratch. Are we just servants for life with no life of our own or personal aspirations? I guess so.

I don’t think anyone would be excited about it, no. But would you cut off your child and your grandchild just because you were ready to start traveling the world and retire? Like, sorry guys, enjoy living out of your car, I was willing to pay for your apartment when you were single but not when you’re living there with your child and girlfriend? Weird.

There is nothing wrong or selfish about traveling after raising your kids. How long should mothers be self effacing for? In this case I would help a little perhaps but not subsidize entirely or nanny full time. The adult kids are the selfish ones here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again.

I am so surprised a bunch of moms who are barely done raising kids are so willing to start over again from scratch. Are we just servants for life with no life of our own or personal aspirations? I guess so.

I don’t think anyone would be excited about it, no. But would you cut off your child and your grandchild just because you were ready to start traveling the world and retire? Like, sorry guys, enjoy living out of your car, I was willing to pay for your apartment when you were single but not when you’re living there with your child and girlfriend? Weird.

so let me ask you this. Would you be ok with completely supporting both your kid and the live in partner if there wasn’t a kid involved? I’m going to imagine the answer is no. Do you think the kid in this situation probably knew that and also knew that a child might change the equation? Because I would bet yes. If I had to put a theory out it’s that the boy knew his parents wouldn’t approve of basically supporting both of them. So this was what they did to make the parents more sympathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again.

The opposite of cutting off (monetarily, emotionally) is NOT assuming the role as the main parent. Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again.

I am so surprised a bunch of moms who are barely done raising kids are so willing to start over again from scratch. Are we just servants for life with no life of our own or personal aspirations? I guess so.

I don’t think anyone would be excited about it, no. But would you cut off your child and your grandchild just because you were ready to start traveling the world and retire? Like, sorry guys, enjoy living out of your car, I was willing to pay for your apartment when you were single but not when you’re living there with your child and girlfriend? Weird.

so let me ask you this. Would you be ok with completely supporting both your kid and the live in partner if there wasn’t a kid involved? I’m going to imagine the answer is no. Do you think the kid in this situation probably knew that and also knew that a child might change the equation? Because I would bet yes. If I had to put a theory out it’s that the boy knew his parents wouldn’t approve of basically supporting both of them. So this was what they did to make the parents more sympathetic.

Again, what’s done is done. The grandchild is innocent. This is your legacy. If you want the next few generations of your family to live in poverty , then, I guess we have different ideals for our family’s futures.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my son or daughter decided to keep a baby and live with their partner, despite my encouragement to get an abortion, I would help them raise the child so they could keep their hopes of college alive and/or get a full-time job to support their family.

I got married at 23 and had my first at 25, while in grad school. I don't necessarily think a baby at 18 is the end of the world, but for this to be a success, the young people need family support. If you back out of that situation, I would consider you a monster.

Pretty much, yes.

I wouldn't be thrilled but I'd get in board so as not to make a challenging situation worse.

I didn't have a baby until I was 37, married, had an established career, and owned my home. And I still need support from family. Having a child takes community. I would never abandon my child to parenthood without it, nor would I want my grandchild growing up without it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again.

The opposite of cutting off (monetarily, emotionally) is NOT assuming the role as the main parent. Good lord.

Have you met a teen parent before? Because it actually does mean assuming the main role. Maybe not 100% with changing diapers but certainly 100% with buying them.