Should schools be underwriting private education for the already privileged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was having lunch with a friend who sends their kids to a top private on financial aid. Both parents went to top undergrad and law schools and have chosen to go into less demanding careers that don't pay as well. Both parents work and the family probably makes somewhere around $350-400K all in (but they have multiple children).

Truly, this just rubs me the wrong way. Aid should go to families with limited upward mobility prospects, not kids of super intellectuals who are affirmatively choosing to work lower paying jobs and whose kids are very likely already set up for success in the world. Oh and this family lives in a strong public district but sends their kids to an elite private instead. Just feels disingenuous when the school is asking for donation after donation after donation (in addition to the wildly high tuition) so that kids of privileged backgrounds can get aid.

How do you know what they make?

Are you upset they asked and the school provided or what?

They applied and the school gave them money. Schools have no problem turning down financial aid requests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to an expensive private school, some of their most impressive peers are the kids of highly educated teachers or government employees with impressive degrees. I have no idea who gets financial aid but I send my kids to this school to be surrounded by kids from families who value strong education and hard work, not necessarily those who live in the biggest houses.

Kids from families who value strong education and hard work. But not the poor ones. No, not the poor ones.

None of these kids have true low income kids, i.e. families making under $80 or on assistance or foster care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to an expensive private school, some of their most impressive peers are the kids of highly educated teachers or government employees with impressive degrees. I have no idea who gets financial aid but I send my kids to this school to be surrounded by kids from families who value strong education and hard work, not necessarily those who live in the biggest houses.

Kids from families who value strong education and hard work. But not the poor ones. No, not the poor ones.

You missed my point, I don't care about their income or wealth, just their values.

Low income families can have good or better values than you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what you are saying is that a school should only be filled with rich families who are full pay where tuition isn't an obstacle or families who are poor or first generation families YOU feel are worth receiving the money? So middle class families who YOU think have privilege do not deserve any aid so should be locked out of private schools? Glad you aren't on the admissions committee of any of these schools! And how much privilege is too much? How do you determine this? Schools have their own priorities and want a diverse class to make it stronger. You are free to give or not give to a school requesting a donation. Did you send your kids to private school? They are filled with all types. You don't sound like a supportive friend.

her post said nothing about poor families or middle class families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to an expensive private school, some of their most impressive peers are the kids of highly educated teachers or government employees with impressive degrees. I have no idea who gets financial aid but I send my kids to this school to be surrounded by kids from families who value strong education and hard work, not necessarily those who live in the biggest houses.

Kids from families who value strong education and hard work. But not the poor ones. No, not the poor ones.

You missed my point, I don't care about their income or wealth, just their values.

Low income families can have good or better values than you do.

I agree, again I've said I don't care about their income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re misunderstanding the fundamental goals of a private school. They don’t care about helping underprivileged, it’s about academic and/or athletic results.

+1

You shouldn’t get upset by things that are beyond your control. Stay in your lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what you are saying is that a school should only be filled with rich families who are full pay where tuition isn't an obstacle or families who are poor or first generation families YOU feel are worth receiving the money? So middle class families who YOU think have privilege do not deserve any aid so should be locked out of private schools? Glad you aren't on the admissions committee of any of these schools! And how much privilege is too much? How do you determine this? Schools have their own priorities and want a diverse class to make it stronger. You are free to give or not give to a school requesting a donation. Did you send your kids to private school? They are filled with all types. You don't sound like a supportive friend.

NP. Yes that is what I am saying. This group of slightly UMC white children of Hill staff, ACLU lawyers and NYT reporters who went to Penn and Columbia is emphatically not who I want to subsidize with my meager discretionary income after I pay full freight. These are my literal peers, except with more children and a dramatically better work-life balance than I have

Sidwell and Sheridan of course can do what they want, but I’m not going to underwrite this

Wow. I think you are more offended that they have not chosen more lucrative careers with their education than you are about the financial aid. Lots of highly educated people choose to go into journalism or nonprofit work because it calls to them or they want to make the world a better place. Not everyone wants to be a greedy heartless, soulless person like you.

Journalism and non-profit make the world a better place?! Hhahahahahahah! I nearly had a heart attack laughing so hard. Do you really think that? Have you seen their work? Many of them are making the world WORSE and polarizing it more than ever, How is that making the world a better place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to an expensive private school, some of their most impressive peers are the kids of highly educated teachers or government employees with impressive degrees. I have no idea who gets financial aid but I send my kids to this school to be surrounded by kids from families who value strong education and hard work, not necessarily those who live in the biggest houses.

Kids from families who value strong education and hard work. But not the poor ones. No, not the poor ones.

None of these kids have true low income kids, i.e. families making under $80 or on assistance or foster care.

Those kids would cost $55K/year/kid in aid. A school with a $1 million dollar aid budget can only support 20 of them. If there are 2 kids in a family, they can support 10 families total. If there are 3 kids, they can support 6-7 families total. Plus these kids would need subsidized transportation, aftercare, etc. So that's another $10K/kid easily.

And then those 20 kids would be in school with classmates who all make $400-500K+. Many making $800K+ I think we can all agree that this might not be the easiest row to hoe for those kids. This scenario is not without significant problems for the 20 kids, the school, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to an expensive private school, some of their most impressive peers are the kids of highly educated teachers or government employees with impressive degrees. I have no idea who gets financial aid but I send my kids to this school to be surrounded by kids from families who value strong education and hard work, not necessarily those who live in the biggest houses.

Kids from families who value strong education and hard work. But not the poor ones. No, not the poor ones.

None of these kids have true low income kids, i.e. families making under $80 or on assistance or foster care.

Those kids would cost $55K/year/kid in aid. A school with a $1 million dollar aid budget can only support 20 of them. If there are 2 kids in a family, they can support 10 families total. If there are 3 kids, they can support 6-7 families total. Plus these kids would need subsidized transportation, aftercare, etc. So that's another $10K/kid easily.

And then those 20 kids would be in school with classmates who all make $400-500K+. Many making $800K+ I think we can all agree that this might not be the easiest row to hoe for those kids. This scenario is not without significant problems for the 20 kids, the school, etc.

Previous poster---I say this as someone who grew up in poverty myself. I was the poor kid at an elite private boarding school. It wasn't paradise. It was really, really hard.
Talk to some of the parents who come from far outside upper NW about what their kids' experiences are really like. Ask them if they would make the same choice for their children again. You'll get a very mixed replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what you are saying is that a school should only be filled with rich families who are full pay where tuition isn't an obstacle or families who are poor or first generation families YOU feel are worth receiving the money? So middle class families who YOU think have privilege do not deserve any aid so should be locked out of private schools? Glad you aren't on the admissions committee of any of these schools! And how much privilege is too much? How do you determine this? Schools have their own priorities and want a diverse class to make it stronger. You are free to give or not give to a school requesting a donation. Did you send your kids to private school? They are filled with all types. You don't sound like a supportive friend.

So, basically the Ivy League model?

[Anonymous]

OP - not your business. Do yourself a favor and don't waste time on negative energy like this. Push that garbage aside and use your mental energy on positive things.

In our years at private school - I highly doubt the SAHM families are/were the ones getting aid. I wouldn't be surprised of 2-govt job families or families with at teacher were getting aid. I trust our school to make these decisions.

Plus - the OP didn't say anything about a SAHM in this situation -just two parents who chose a less lucrative paths after strong undergrad education (but clearly - still doing great in the grand scheme).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what you are saying is that a school should only be filled with rich families who are full pay where tuition isn't an obstacle or families who are poor or first generation families YOU feel are worth receiving the money? So middle class families who YOU think have privilege do not deserve any aid so should be locked out of private schools? Glad you aren't on the admissions committee of any of these schools! And how much privilege is too much? How do you determine this? Schools have their own priorities and want a diverse class to make it stronger. You are free to give or not give to a school requesting a donation. Did you send your kids to private school? They are filled with all types. You don't sound like a supportive friend.

NP. Yes that is what I am saying. This group of slightly UMC white children of Hill staff, ACLU lawyers and NYT reporters who went to Penn and Columbia is emphatically not who I want to subsidize with my meager discretionary income after I pay full freight. These are my literal peers, except with more children and a dramatically better work-life balance than I have

Sidwell and Sheridan of course can do what they want, but I’m not going to underwrite this

You don't get to pick what your school does. Sorry to tell you but, essentially, your full pay is still underwriting it - even if your donation dollars are pegged to not go to FA. They can just shift as needed - so any money that goes to the school is supporting the school and its chosen mission - including FA distribution. If you really care, go elsewhere. Or maybe fully fund a scholarship in your own name to target exactly the group you want to reach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to an expensive private school, some of their most impressive peers are the kids of highly educated teachers or government employees with impressive degrees. I have no idea who gets financial aid but I send my kids to this school to be surrounded by kids from families who value strong education and hard work, not necessarily those who live in the biggest houses.

Kids from families who value strong education and hard work. But not the poor ones. No, not the poor ones.

None of these kids have true low income kids, i.e. families making under $80 or on assistance or foster care.

Those kids would cost $55K/year/kid in aid. A school with a $1 million dollar aid budget can only support 20 of them. If there are 2 kids in a family, they can support 10 families total. If there are 3 kids, they can support 6-7 families total. Plus these kids would need subsidized transportation, aftercare, etc. So that's another $10K/kid easily.

And then those 20 kids would be in school with classmates who all make $400-500K+. Many making $800K+ I think we can all agree that this might not be the easiest row to hoe for those kids. This scenario is not without significant problems for the 20 kids, the school, etc.

Wow. Now that’s one big fat convenient rationalization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to an expensive private school, some of their most impressive peers are the kids of highly educated teachers or government employees with impressive degrees. I have no idea who gets financial aid but I send my kids to this school to be surrounded by kids from families who value strong education and hard work, not necessarily those who live in the biggest houses.

Kids from families who value strong education and hard work. But not the poor ones. No, not the poor ones.

You missed my point, I don't care about their income or wealth, just their values.

many teachers choose that path for flexibility - do you question their values too?

It's insane that you are questioning values of journalists, hill staffers, and ACLU (or other NGO) staff? Really? Usually these people are smart and care about making a difference. Meanwhile, there are plenty of big law or lobbyist parents I've met who have zero values (not all - but more in that high earner group than the lower earners being slayed).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t bother me at all that they get financial aid but it does affect how I think about the plea for additional donations above my full pay for multiple kids. I make a small donation each year but no amount of give the gap is going to sway me.

On the flip side - one year we were not happy with the HOS (and they ended up leaving soon after) and we moved all of our giving out of the annual fund and into the bucket that helped FA and supported teacher development.