Disappointed that it’s a boy

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP.

I preferred a boy and got what I preferred.

My (teen) son is an athlete and pretty typical, but was never into rough-housing or loud. He's kind and smart and gentle and still strong and masculine and athletic. I don't know if that's nature or nurture or both but it is my experience.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize OP. I don’t agree at all with the posters who say you’ll be a bad parent because of this or never get over it.

My first is a girl. I’m very grateful for her. I have had traumatic experiences with men close to me in my life. I don’t really have any positive male role models. I was devastated when I found out my second was a boy.

But i got over it. It took a few months. And I will say, one of the main reasons I wanted a second girl is so my kids could have the close bond of a same sex relationship. You are giving your boys such a gift with that!

I also think boys are pretty much at their worst in preschool. All the savagery of little kids is just amplified at that age in boys with few redeeming features. It gets better after that when their personalities develop and they aren’t just destructive car noises all the time.

It will be ok. It’s ok to be disappointed. But you will be ok.

[Anonymous]

Yikes!

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old son is amazing!!

Spend an hour mourning this news and move on.

[Anonymous]

Same here but my two boys ended up being very different. Try to find some consolation in things like saving money on hand-me-downs, the fact that they will likely be closer than opposite sex siblings, less drama in the teen years. At least this is what I told myself. Now as the only female in a house of three males I double-down on girlfriend/sister time because, despite what I was taught in graduate school, gender is more than just a construct.

[Anonymous]

Just kill it, or leave it somewhere.

[Anonymous]

I think it's okay to have some disappointment, as long as you don't ruminate. My sister really wanted a girl for her second, got another boy, and was sort of devastated for a month or so. By the time he arrived she was over it, he's her little precious angel, and she's a borderline-annoying #boymom at this point (they're both teenagers).

Everyone has a kneejerk reaction, whether good or bad, to the gender from which we could extrapolate all kinds of negative things. Usually it's just a momentary sense of loss - you know you're not having more kids so now you know a daughter is not in the cards. Deal with that and move on, and I agree with the PP who said that however you vent make sure your kids won't find out.

[Anonymous]

Many have been there. It will get better, you will love him and get to a point where you won’t be able to believe you ever wanted anything else. But even then it’s still ok if you wish you could have experienced the girly stuff. My sister and SIL have only boys and they buy my daughter great girly presents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just kill it, or leave it somewhere.

Ha ha! I get it. I wouldn't actually do that, but I wouldn't want a boy either.

[Anonymous]

Dude. These poor kids didn't get to pick an old Mom that doesn't like to have fun.

My first son is very physical. My daughter is also very physical. My second son is very calm and quiet.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry, OP. You feelings are valid, but please remember this will all change once your baby is born and you meet him and fall in love with him.

That said, I had a strong preference for girls too. I ended up with two daughters, and they are both tomboys, athletic, high energy, loud, adventurous, outdoorsy, good at math…all the cliches we hear about boys. You never know who your boys will end up being when they grow up a bit.

P.s. A friend froze embryos due to AMA a few months after giving birth to her second so and ended up choosing to have a third 4 years later, at 43. She opted for the girl embryo

[Anonymous]

I loved having two boys! It’s been a blast and now that they are older, they are great friends. Wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

[Anonymous]

Boy mom here. With more years behind me, the only thing I really regret (big finger quotes here) is that there are still no cute little boy clothes.

Other than that, even with all the challenges, it’s been a blast. Boys get a bad rap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can relate, I cried for hours when I found out my second was also a boy. I wanted (and still want) a daughter so badly. But one thing that has surprised me is how much I love their bond with each other—they play together so intensely and it is wonderful! Most of my friends have one of each and I just don’t see the same sibling bond in those families (obviously there are exceptions)—so I think there is something to be said for same gender siblings!

I have a boy and a girl, and I totally agree with this! And my son is much easier, and sweeter, than my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP. I also wanted a girl, but got two boys. Yes, they are harder when they are younger and very active, but if you like sports and they like sports, they are so much fun! Mine are older now, but I've loved carpooling them to the same activities and cheering them on at their games and not having to deal with the girl drama which sadly starts around 3rd grade.