How many minor transitions do you know ow

[Anonymous]

3 and they are all in the house next door! Yes. Crazy family. Endless source of entertainment for all of us.

[Anonymous]

I know three kids who started transitioning at a young age- like 3-4 years old saying they don’t feel comfortable in their bodies, wanting to wear skirts/dresses. It was not some pop culture thing.

I think it’s been a lot for the families but the parents do not express that to the kids and have been very accepting.

[Anonymous]

None. I’m a gay woman and I have a couple of childhood friends who transitioned later in life. I don’t know any trans minors. Our friends all have kids from elementary school to upper school. All cis and straight (as far as we know).

Our kids go to a liberal private school with trans-friendly policies. I’ve known a lot of the kids since pre-k, although of course the grades get bigger, and I’m not aware of any trans kids, although they probably exist, especially in the upper school. (Our kids are in middle and upper school.)

I guess the closest we’ve gotten is friends (straight couple) whose daughter was questioning her gender. They took her to the local Ivy League university trans clinic. She had one convo with the therapist, realized it really wasn’t her thing after all, and that was the end of that. I mention that bc I think people have this idea that doctors and therapists are desperate to “make” kids trans but really, they’re trying to help kids figure out their reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we are cleaning up holiday cards and realize I know of 4 trans boys.

So we know 4 families who had a girl transition to a boy.

I guess I can understand somewhat about the national attention, if there is really that high number. Does everyone know several families with tran kids?

I have no opinion. I’m a little indifferent to the whole thing; I feel in most ways men and women should have similar options though I know sports is a 3rd rail and shared locker rooms. Outside that, it seems pretty innocuous.

We know a few. My moral world view values equality above all else. I don’t care about biblical or religious constructs of what a family should look like.

In the history of the world, we have gone through cycles of restricting and expanding access to equal citizenship to various groups of people - slaves, women, the Irish, the Chinese, native populations under a colonizing force. gays, lesbians, the disabled, child labor, migrant labor, etc. There has been exactly zero instances when we look back a hundred years later and say, “Gee, we shouldn’t have outlawed those “Irish need not apply” signs”, or “Wow, giving women the right to own property and take out loans was a mistake”.

How ludicrous does it seem now that if your name was O’Malley, you couldn’t be buried in a public cemetery in the U.S.? That if you were a German catholic, you were run out of town to avoid being massacred? But Americans at that time were as vehemently anti-Irish and anti-catholic as some are anti- trans today. I predict it will considered as ridiculous as our current treatment of LGBTQ+ will be in a hundred years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Probably a dozen when they were in middle school. One now that they are going to college. It’s a teen phase that is harmless unless someone uses it to make permanent decisions.

Thank you for saying this and I agree with you. We were not allowed to express the view, “it’s a teen phase,” for the past few years, due to the fear of being canceled; even fired.

But now it feels like maybe there is a little more room for freedom of expression in the USA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know one family with a teenage girl who is transitioning to male, surgeries already in progress. That’s it.

This is false. Doctors do not perform those surgeries on people under 18. They may be on puberty blockers, but the data on surgery is very clear it almost never happens under 18, and even then only in very specific circumstances (such as a 17 year old going off to college).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None in our circles. Which says a lot. You’d think it would be across circles but it is definitely not.

Same.

[Anonymous]

I know two that transitioned as minors. One is still pre-puberty, so I assume no medical intervention yet. The other one is a teenager, I don’t know what has or hasn’t been done.

I know many adults and young adults who transitioned after 18. I don’t know whether they would do it as minors if the option was there. What’s interesting is that for the older crowd that I know the majority are MtF. The younger ones are all FtM.

[Anonymous]

I know maybe 3 who transitioned from F to M. All our white, have autism and or mental health issues.

I know plenty of other non-binary kids (again, all white and more artsy kids).

I do believe it's a teen phase (that yes, they should be allowed to have this teen phase) and social contagion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably a dozen when they were in middle school. One now that they are going to college. It’s a teen phase that is harmless unless someone uses it to make permanent decisions.

Thank you for saying this and I agree with you. We were not allowed to express the view, “it’s a teen phase,” for the past few years, due to the fear of being canceled; even fired.

But now it feels like maybe there is a little more room for freedom of expression in the USA.

Agree. I think there's an increasing awareness that many of the F to M "transitions" are often a reflection of how uncomfortable and disorienting adolescence can be for girls. And identifying as something different is often a coping a mechanism during the turbulent years. More often than not, they end up identifying as a women again once they're a little older. There is nothing wrong with observing that this is often just a stage. I think it'd be more helpful to address the reasons why teenage girls often feel so uncomfortable in adolescence.

[Anonymous]

One child of a neighbor who is clearly on the spectrum and started transitioning well before puberty at about 10. One child of a teacher who started transitioning quite young, around 7 or so. This teacher was very publicity seeking about it which gave me the heebie jeebies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we are cleaning up holiday cards and realize I know of 4 trans boys.

So we know 4 families who had a girl transition to a boy.

I guess I can understand somewhat about the national attention, if there is really that high number. Does everyone know several families with tran kids?

I have no opinion. I’m a little indifferent to the whole thing; I feel in most ways men and women should have similar options though I know sports is a 3rd rail and shared locker rooms. Outside that, it seems pretty innocuous.

We know a few. My moral world view values equality above all else. I don’t care about biblical or religious constructs of what a family should look like.

In the history of the world, we have gone through cycles of restricting and expanding access to equal citizenship to various groups of people - slaves, women, the Irish, the Chinese, native populations under a colonizing force. gays, lesbians, the disabled, child labor, migrant labor, etc. There has been exactly zero instances when we look back a hundred years later and say, “Gee, we shouldn’t have outlawed those “Irish need not apply” signs”, or “Wow, giving women the right to own property and take out loans was a mistake”.

How ludicrous does it seem now that if your name was O’Malley, you couldn’t be buried in a public cemetery in the U.S.? That if you were a German catholic, you were run out of town to avoid being massacred? But Americans at that time were as vehemently anti-Irish and anti-catholic as some are anti- trans today. I predict it will considered as ridiculous as our current treatment of LGBTQ+ will be in a hundred years.

alternatively, medical treatment of gender dysphoric kids will be seen as a big medical mistake like many others over time.

Caution about over medicalizing a normal phase of adolescent development is not the same as being anti-trans or “running Irish people out of town.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Three.

1 adult & 1 teen, both male to female.

The third is a young adult who transitioned from female to male in teens. Now transitioning back to female.

Who is paying for the surgeries for this last individual?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know maybe 3 who transitioned from F to M. All our white, have autism and or mental health issues.

I know plenty of other non-binary kids (again, all white and more artsy kids).

I do believe it's a teen phase (that yes, they should be allowed to have this teen phase) and social contagion.

I do think this accounts for a lot of the trend we’re seeing.

I am a late 40s woman. I went through two phases in my life when I identified as masculine. When I was 2-4, and I was copying my brother and refused to wear girls’ clothes and called myself Boy. My parents went along with it. Again in hs when I went by a male nickname. I wasn’t gay- I was actually boy crazy, and I had a very high feminine voice. But I dressed in less feminine clothes. In my women’s college, a few women asked me out, but I dated men. I dated a lot and have been married to a man for 20 years. I do think it was just my way of expression of myself as a feminist and an individual. I still wear my hair very short, very rarely makeup and don’t love dresses (but on occasion can wear).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But it's totally not a social contagion, right?

It’s 1.6% of the population. If there are 2000 kids at your child’s school, that’s 32, and chances are you’ve encountered at least 1-2 of them.

Stop implying that it’s a larger percentage than it is. It’s not that many, it’s just that we encounter hundreds of kids.

I think there’s an element of social contagion and there’s also some people for whom it’s a genuine issue. I know of a number of people with trans kids or kids that are nonbinary. None are close friends but I can think of 8-10 kids off the top of my head.

My feeling is that all the focus on this issue from those so obsessed with shutting down everything trans related is actually amplifying it.

I do think (and I think most people agree with me) that trans women should not be in women’s sports. I also don’t understand why of all of the significant issues facing our country and world that one has gotten so much attention.