It's me - the DIL with the in-laws and drama around their cabin.

[Anonymous]

How exactly is your husband going to “inherit” the HELOC? It doesn’t work that way. You don’t inherit debt. The creditor will take what they are owed from the estate but your husband will not owe it. I also don’t think the HELOC can be opened by someone not on the title to the cabin, nor can it be transferred to someone else.

Just tell your DH you are not OK putting money into the cabin. Open your own savings account and put your share of the monthly savings in there. Let him do what he wants with his half.

[Anonymous]

The sil can’t take out a heloc unless she’s on the title. Is mil competent enough to do this? Can they rent the cabin out to cover expenses? If not, there’s no option - the cabin needs to be sold asap.

[Anonymous]

Once they inherit and have 3-way ownership they will wish they’d sold it beforehand. Joint ownership between 3 siblings, one who is broke, won’t work out.

[Anonymous]

This is a dumb plan. They need to sell it for her care.

[Anonymous]

Things have a way of working themselves out. I predict things will take a natural course before your DH & his 2 siblings are tithing $800 ish per month to this cabin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL is finally moving into Assisted Living after falling nearly every day. She owns a cabin that is valued at roughly 300-400K. My husband states his sister (POA) will take out a HELOC on the cabin to pay for AL. The cabin is willed to the three siblings, and DH said we would be expected to contribute a nominal amount to utilities and property taxes ($150/month), which is acceptable and fair to me.

However, when his mother dies, DH will inherit anywhere from 10 K to 100 K of debt. Depending on the equity left, we will have to keep contributing costs towards the cabin.

My issue is that I'm not on the will. We are equal income earners, and our contributions will likely go out once his mother passes away to around $750-900/month. I do not want to contribute joint income towards a real estate asset to which only one of us has a legal entitlement. We don't have a huge budget right now for extras, and it's coming out of our "extra" leftover money at the end of the month, which I usually put into savings.

Am I a PITA if I say I do not want to contribute joint income towards the cabin if I am not included in the ownership?

You do not inherit debt. Do not agree to anything. If they take a loan the house gets sold in probate and used to pay debt. Any remaining debt gets wiped out.

This is the answer. When MIL dies, her estate has to be probated (unless she has a trust. Does she? Sounds like no.) In that process, debts have to be paid off with assets. Heirs divide what is left.

I would throw in the $150, but the $750-$900 for a time-share with in-laws would be a bridge too far. Fortunately, the law is going to take care of this for you.

[Anonymous]

The fact that you are looking ahead to your future divorce says so much. Why don’t you get out now OP?

As for the rest of the mess, the MIL needs to sell the cabin and invest the proceeds so that she can live off the interest. Check with an accountant. She may need to do it sooner rather than later to take advantage of some tax benefits.

Isn’t MIL fairly young? She may live decades in assisted living. The only financially sound thing to do is sell and invest to stretch the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sell the property.

Agree!

[Anonymous]

Sister says she will take a HELOC loan for assisted living. Who will be paying that monthly bill?

[Anonymous]

Hire a Medicaid attorney and get her into a facility that will accept her. Depending on the state she lives in depends on how much money and assets she can keep. We had to do this in PA.

[Anonymous]

Nobody's going to inherit anything from this mess. Sell the cabin to pay for her care and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

Even if they sell, the money will be wiped out in 3-4 years max and MIL will need to qualify for a medicaid bed in a facility.

Your SIL can’t unilaterally take out a HELOC if she isn’t on the title of the cabin. Your MIL would have to do that. Is she mentally competent? Potentially doubtful anyone would even give her a HELOC if she has no income to make the payments. Payments also start immediately, if your SIL is seriously contemplating a $300-400k HELOC, that monthly payment is way more than the $150x3 you seem to be tossing around. Not to mention taxes and upkeep on the cabin, utilities, etc.

This a cockamamie plan. Cabin has to be sold, now. If the SIL can afford it, she can buy it outright, but it has to be for FMV because Medicaid has a look back period of 5 years.

[Anonymous]

Sell the property.

the siblings need to get some real advice from someone knowledgeable about such affairs. They should not be guessing or making assumptions about how this is going to work. Seems to me like their reasoning is seriously wrong.

Also, what happens if the sibling with no funds doesn’t pay?

[Anonymous]

Sell the cabin. All this family does is wrong decisions. Don't get wrapped up in this.

[Anonymous]

What a complex family drama. It is like a miniseries on HBO or something. I am picturing loggers in the pacific northwest, or maybe a family in the ozarks, and your DH is the one who got out and went to Oregon State, and landed a decent gs-11 fed job and bought a nice SFH ranch-style house out on a half acre in Damascus with his loving, long-suffering wife who put herself through Towson by working long hours as a waitress and a nanny, only for her husband to get sucked back into the family drama when the patriarch came up with one last stupid, selfish plan.

Truly sorry for you and also I enjoy all your updates. Wow. I just want to say again that I feel bad so bad for you, OP and the whole extended family who so greedy, but also, so heartless and stupid.