It's me - the DIL with the in-laws and drama around their cabin.

[Anonymous]

My MIL is finally moving into Assisted Living after falling nearly every day. She owns a cabin that is valued at roughly 300-400K. My husband states his sister (POA) will take out a HELOC on the cabin to pay for AL. The cabin is willed to the three siblings, and DH said we would be expected to contribute a nominal amount to utilities and property taxes ($150/month), which is acceptable and fair to me.

However, when his mother dies, DH will inherit anywhere from 10 K to 100 K of debt. Depending on the equity left, we will have to keep contributing costs towards the cabin.

My issue is that I'm not on the will. We are equal income earners, and our contributions will likely go out once his mother passes away to around $750-900/month. I do not want to contribute joint income towards a real estate asset to which only one of us has a legal entitlement. We don't have a huge budget right now for extras, and it's coming out of our "extra" leftover money at the end of the month, which I usually put into savings.

Am I a PITA if I say I do not want to contribute joint income towards the cabin if I am not included in the ownership?

[Anonymous]

Once he receives 1/3 of the cabin, does it become joint property? If not, then I would execute a document that states you are entitled to 1/2 of your DH's share if you are contributing 1/2 of the expense.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I’m not clear on the situation. The cabin is owned outright currently, yes? There are no other assets? The plan is to keep the cabin in the family? Would the other siblings buy your dh out?

[Anonymous]

When you say your DH will inherit debt, do you mean just the HELOC (his share of it)? Or is there other debt too?

[Anonymous]

Why does your monthly cost go up? Is it just to pay the debt or are there other reasons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I’m not clear on the situation. The cabin is owned outright currently, yes? There are no other assets? The plan is to keep the cabin in the family. Would the other siblings buy your dh out?

OP here:

Sorry, I’m not clear on the situation
- DH wants us to contribute to a property he will inherit. In my state, inheritance or gifts are not subject to community property. I am uncomfortable contributing household income to a real property I will have zero entitlement to if we divorce.

The cabin is owned outright currently, yes?
- Owned outright - yes.

There are no other assets?
- MIL has maybe 30K in savings, which will go quickly with 12K of move-in costs.

Would the other siblings buy your dh out?
- No. One is flat broke and unsure how even he would afford the ongoing costs.

[Anonymous]

You have a good point-have you discussed with DH? You shouldn’t be throwing marital assets toward something that won’t be co-mingled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you say your DH will inherit debt, do you mean just the HELOC (his share of it)? Or is there other debt, too?

OP here - likely medical debt at her death (which I'm not sure if that's discharged or a lien would be placed on the cabin ... )

Yes, his share of the HELOC. I have to admit I know nothing about HELOCs, so I don't remember if payments start once you take the HELOC out or if it's added to the overall cost of your mortgage and lessens your equity ... If the HELOC payments begin when it's taken out, we could not afford it or I would put my foot down because we are essentially going into debt to pay for MIL's care.

[Anonymous]

HELOC payments do begin when the loan is taken (sometimes there's one freebie month).

If your husband updates his will say that his portion of the cabin is deeded to both of you, would that solve the problem?

[Anonymous]

Wait, what happened to FIL? Wasn't he the one insisting that the cabin be kept?

[Anonymous]

What? If she’s in assisted living for a few years there won’t be anything left to inherit. Who do you think will pay back the heloc? The cabin will be gone. You won’t have to worry about paying fees because there won’t be an inheritance. Use the heloc to pay the fees now. Why would you guys pay a monthly fee now for an inheritance that may or may not (likely not) come? It sounds like a Ponzi scheme.

[Anonymous]

Sell the property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, what happened to FIL? Wasn't he the one insisting that the cabin be kept?

OP here - he died 6 months ago.

[Anonymous]

They need to sell the cabin and use that to pay for her care. None of you can afford to keep the place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They need to sell the cabin and use that to pay for her care. None of you can afford to keep the place.

OP here - I wish they would sell it!