Explain to me your thought process (parents) with being highly competitive with your swimmer

[Anonymous]

Cell phones have also not helped the hyper parents. I see so many of them taping all of their kids races. I really hope these kids aren’t doing film and stroke technique sessions at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cell phones have also not helped the hyper parents. I see so many of them taping all of their kids races. I really hope these kids aren’t doing film and stroke technique sessions at home

We have a club swimmer on our summer team and they do that. Dad (not a swimmer) records it and then goes over all the things their swimmers do wrong. It is brutal. His kids are fast and break records but he acts like he is the one in the water. So much pressure on his kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was a really long post and you seem very interested in that family. Perhaps you need to take a breath and try to understand why this is occupying your thoughts.

Does it suck for the kid? Sure. But everyone has their own parenting style.

Op here. It is actually three or four families that my swimmer is around. I blended and gave just a few odd details. I am not from the US and this parenting style seems peculiar and for lack of a better term foreign.

My swimmer is in the same group and has always been close in times but this season is besting these swimmers (new height). They are pushing private coaching, camps, etc. on us. I am not interested and if my swimmer expresses interest we will look into it.

What is the end game? What am I missing?

Sounds like you should mind your own business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was a really long post and you seem very interested in that family. Perhaps you need to take a breath and try to understand why this is occupying your thoughts.

Does it suck for the kid? Sure. But everyone has their own parenting style.

Op here. It is actually three or four families that my swimmer is around. I blended and gave just a few odd details. I am not from the US and this parenting style seems peculiar and for lack of a better term foreign.

My swimmer is in the same group and has always been close in times but this season is besting these swimmers (new height). They are pushing private coaching, camps, etc. on us. I am not interested and if my swimmer expresses interest we will look into it.

What is the end game? What am I missing?

Sounds like you should mind your own business.[b]

DCUM meanies do not disappoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

College swimmer here - this is so huge. 12 and unders with perfect technique have a tough road ahead of them. Especially if they are on the small side (and will stay that way) and don't have to try particularly hard to be quick. These kids tend to dominate before other kids grow in height and strength and start surpassing them. It's tough to watch.

Interesting, I've often heard the opposite. Kids that are big when they're young often dominate not because of perfect technique but because they're just big and muscle through - then it is those kids who have to relearn good technique as other start surpassing them as they grow.

I think this can be the case sometimes too. But typically it’s tiny 10 and unders (with muscle, don’t get me wrong!) who just zip through the water with little effort. Their bodies are just so much easier to maneuver. A genetically tall (and often lanky when they’re young) kid who is middle of the road can become incredibly fast when they put on muscle later.

[Anonymous]

Many parents like this don’t understand (yet) that their kids have to want to work hard in the sport to succeed. They think they are setting up their kid for success, but they may be adding pressure that will lead to burn out. Re the filming, Depending on the age and the kid, the kid may want to see the races. I have teens and one complains if I miss filming a swim. He’s very analytical and wants to watch his turns etc so he can make corrections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many parents like this don’t understand (yet) that their kids have to want to work hard in the sport to succeed. They think they are setting up their kid for success, but they may be adding pressure that will lead to burn out. Re the filming, Depending on the age and the kid, the kid may want to see the races. I have teens and one complains if I miss filming a swim. He’s very analytical and wants to watch his turns etc so he can make corrections.

I think younger age groups are very receptive to filming, they've grown up looking at themselves being recorded, and generally like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cell phones have also not helped the hyper parents. I see so many of them taping all of their kids races. I really hope these kids aren’t doing film and stroke technique sessions at home

My kids love watching their own videos. I stopped doing it for a while and they complained. But I don’t try to give them tips based on the videos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cell phones have also not helped the hyper parents. I see so many of them taping all of their kids races. I really hope these kids aren’t doing film and stroke technique sessions at home

My kids love watching their own videos. I stopped doing it for a while and they complained. But I don’t try to give them tips based on the videos.

+1. My swimmers want to watch their races. We aren’t doing post event lectures lol

[Anonymous]

I also don't understand when parents berate their kids for not dropping time, not winning, etc. As if the kid decided before they jumped off the blocks that they were going to try to go slow, mess up the turn, etc. It's kind of incredible. I assume my kid is doing the best they can. I also don't live through my kid or need my kid to be fast to feel like I'm a success. And frankly, I don't think I would have done what they are doing at their age in terms of the physical and time demands of swimming. I admire them for their effort, whatever it is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand when parents berate their kids for not dropping time, not winning, etc. As if the kid decided before they jumped off the blocks that they were going to try to go slow, mess up the turn, etc. It's kind of incredible. I assume my kid is doing the best they can. I also don't live through my kid or need my kid to be fast to feel like I'm a success. And frankly, I don't think I would have done what they are doing at their age in terms of the physical and time demands of swimming. I admire them for their effort, whatever it is!

I love you. Not being snarky but that is good parenting there.

I have often wanted to say something when I see a parent berating or nit picking their swimmer. When my kid has a bad swim/meet I am always ready for the hug.

[Anonymous]

My kid has attended yearly camps and we did private coaching for a few years. We rarely do meets, they club swim because they enjoy it. We also pay for academic tutoring and private music lessons. You are exhausting. It's not worth the college scholarship as your kid needs drive and natural talent. Let them do it because they enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand when parents berate their kids for not dropping time, not winning, etc. As if the kid decided before they jumped off the blocks that they were going to try to go slow, mess up the turn, etc. It's kind of incredible. I assume my kid is doing the best they can. I also don't live through my kid or need my kid to be fast to feel like I'm a success. And frankly, I don't think I would have done what they are doing at their age in terms of the physical and time demands of swimming. I admire them for their effort, whatever it is!

The bolded is the real problem in these cases, IMO. Every single time. It’s a terrible burden for children. I also assume my kids are doing their best, whether it’s swimming or something else. An American swimmer DQ’d at the Olympics FFS! Stuff can happen to anyone.

[Anonymous]

My DD is a diver and practices on Saturday mornings in the dive well during open swim. Open swim at 10 am is generally elderly people and water joggers, save for a small group of insane club swim parents.

The kids arrive with wet hair and in parkas so I assume they’re coming from club practice at another pool. Parents have their kids hop in an open swim lane and go through long workouts, which they video while standing on the deck. The parents will shout instructions across the swim lanes. We live on the west coast and these parents are all mandarin-speaking (I’m mixed ABC), so it dispels any myth of the overbearing white sports dad.

These are kids with caps and gear that indicate that they swim with clubs that they have practice 2-4x/week already but they’re just 8-10 years old. It’s totally crazy and hard to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cell phones have also not helped the hyper parents. I see so many of them taping all of their kids races. I really hope these kids aren’t doing film and stroke technique sessions at home

My kids love watching their own videos. I stopped doing it for a while and they complained. But I don’t try to give them tips based on the videos.

+1. My swimmers want to watch their races. We aren’t doing post event lectures lol

+ another. When I’m working the meet, my swimmer (who is older) still asks, “but who will video my races?” We don’t see it as any different than filming our children’s dance or theatre performances.