Explain to me your thought process (parents) with being highly competitive with your swimmer

[Anonymous]

The parents were probably competitive HS or college swimmers themselves and are trying to relive their glory days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents were probably competitive HS or college swimmers themselves and are trying to relive their glory days.

I doubt it. Every friend and family me ever I know that is a D1 athlete is the opposite with their kids. Encouraging multiple sports and pretty chill. Those people know the burn out and how tough it is and swim is incredibly tough. Early morning practice up and down a lane. It is not like team sports where there is a lot of camaraderie on and off the field.

My girlfriend was a D1 swimmer and has some incredible athletes. Their kids all play multiple sports and with swim in particular they don't rush technical improvements because she says they will need those tweaks in the coming years so they don't plateau for long periods of time. She also points out the kids that will likely not make it to swim in college because they have the parents making them cry on deck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents were probably competitive HS or college swimmers themselves and are trying to relive their glory days.

I doubt it. Every friend and family me ever I know that is a D1 athlete is the opposite with their kids. Encouraging multiple sports and pretty chill. Those people know the burn out and how tough it is and swim is incredibly tough. Early morning practice up and down a lane. It is not like team sports where there is a lot of camaraderie on and off the field.

My girlfriend was a D1 swimmer and has some incredible athletes. Their kids all play multiple sports and with swim in particular they don't rush technical improvements because she says they will need those tweaks in the coming years so they don't plateau for long periods of time. She also points out the kids that will likely not make it to swim in college because they have the parents making them cry on deck.

+1

[Anonymous]

parents who “like the accolades you get from other parents”

I really hope there isn’t much of that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the kids like swimming and want to excel? I have a d1 swimmer and another high school swimmer that will likely swim in college. They swim because they enjoy it snd want to do well at it.

I support swimming because of the intangible skills they learn from it. They learn about setting goals, perseverance, recovering from disappointments, etc. Whether or not your kid is d1 or Olympics bound, they can learn so many life skills.

I would say that type of parent is by far the minority and not the norm. I’ve seen it but not often, and probably no different from other sports.
+ 1 (NP)
But… I really struggle when I observe parents angry with their children after a disappointing race or lack of best time (which is the norm as they age). If the kid clearly didn’t try or was screwing around, sure, I get it. But it breaks my heart when a parent is angry or disappointed in a kid that tried hard and didn’t get the desired outcome. A parent should comfort in that scenario, IMO.

[Anonymous]

I’ve got a better question: Why are you coming to DCUM for validation when you already feel far superior to these people? What am I missing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve got a better question: Why are you coming to DCUM for validation when you already feel far superior to these people? What am I missing?

Hello parent that lives through their swimmer and does these things, perhaps you can explain your motivation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve got a better question: Why are you coming to DCUM for validation when you already feel far superior to these people? What am I missing?

Probably mostly just bored waiting for their kids to finish practice. I heard NCAP doesn't even let the parents out of the cars in the morning, since it's at a private school and they don't want people wandering around. I am not sure about the details, just heard that, so don't quote me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents were probably competitive HS or college swimmers themselves and are trying to relive their glory days.

I doubt it. Every friend and family me ever I know that is a D1 athlete is the opposite with their kids. Encouraging multiple sports and pretty chill. Those people know the burn out and how tough it is and swim is incredibly tough. Early morning practice up and down a lane. It is not like team sports where there is a lot of camaraderie on and off the field.

My girlfriend was a D1 swimmer and has some incredible athletes. Their kids all play multiple sports and with swim in particular they don't rush technical improvements because she says they will need those tweaks in the coming years so they don't plateau for long periods of time. She also points out the kids that will likely not make it to swim in college because they have the parents making them cry on deck.

Can't overemphasize this enough. Yes, technique is super important. But it's a process that takes years of development. Rushing it now will lead to long periods of time later when they plateau.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents were probably competitive HS or college swimmers themselves and are trying to relive their glory days.

IME it’s the opposite: parents who were good athletes, but not great, and they dump that unresolved tension on their kids. Parents who are satisfied with their athletic history (myself included) don’t need to live anything through our kids, since we lived it ourselves. I want all the great things about sports for my kids, e.g., hard work, camaraderie, persistence, etc. Sports can show how much fun hard work can be and that’s a terrific thing to learn early. As PPs said, it’s almost never parents who were themselves high-level swimmers, because they know how important technique and patience are. This is a long game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents were probably competitive HS or college swimmers themselves and are trying to relive their glory days.

IME it’s the opposite: parents who were good athletes, but not great, and they dump that unresolved tension on their kids. Parents who are satisfied with their athletic history (myself included) don’t need to live anything through our kids, since we lived it ourselves. I want all the great things about sports for my kids, e.g., hard work, camaraderie, persistence, etc. Sports can show how much fun hard work can be and that’s a terrific thing to learn early. As PPs said, it’s almost never parents who were themselves high-level swimmers, because they know how important technique and patience are. This is a long game.

+1
My swimmers happen to be in a cohort of top level kids who made it for the long haul. Almost all kids had one or both parents also compete at top levels, lots of swimmers as well as other sports. None of these parents are over the top, and most of them I have spent time with socially and truly believe they are not very different behind closed doors. We all steer clear of the yellers and highly competitive nuts. Some of the people who I have seen take it the absolute slowest with their kids over the years are those who swam in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents were probably competitive HS or college swimmers themselves and are trying to relive their glory days.

IME it’s the opposite: parents who were good athletes, but not great, and they dump that unresolved tension on their kids. Parents who are satisfied with their athletic history (myself included) don’t need to live anything through our kids, since we lived it ourselves. I want all the great things about sports for my kids, e.g., hard work, camaraderie, persistence, etc. Sports can show how much fun hard work can be and that’s a terrific thing to learn early. As PPs said, it’s almost never parents who were themselves high-level swimmers, because they know how important technique and patience are. This is a long game.

+1
My swimmers happen to be in a cohort of top level kids who made it for the long haul. Almost all kids had one or both parents also compete at top levels, lots of swimmers as well as other sports. None of these parents are over the top, and most of them I have spent time with socially and truly believe they are not very different behind closed doors. We all steer clear of the yellers and highly competitive nuts. Some of the people who I have seen take it the absolute slowest with their kids over the years are those who swam in college.

+1. My husband and I were both D1 swimmers (that's where we met) and our kids swam at low key teams until high school when they decided they wanted to consider swimming in college. This meant 2 practices a week until age 11, 3-4 at age 12 and 4-5 from 13-14. One didn't even start year round until age 10. Once they moved to high school they ramped up to 6 a week. Both now swim D1 and are still improving.

Generally, how fast a child is before puberty has very little bearing on how fast they will be in the long run. Parents who didn't swim at a high level don't seem to understand this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The parents were probably competitive HS or college swimmers themselves and are trying to relive their glory days.

I doubt it. Every friend and family me ever I know that is a D1 athlete is the opposite with their kids. Encouraging multiple sports and pretty chill. Those people know the burn out and how tough it is and swim is incredibly tough. Early morning practice up and down a lane. It is not like team sports where there is a lot of camaraderie on and off the field.

My girlfriend was a D1 swimmer and has some incredible athletes. Their kids all play multiple sports and with swim in particular they don't rush technical improvements because she says they will need those tweaks in the coming years so they don't plateau for long periods of time. She also points out the kids that will likely not make it to swim in college because they have the parents making them cry on deck.

Can't overemphasize this enough. Yes, technique is super important. But it's a process that takes years of development. Rushing it now will lead to long periods of time later when they plateau.

College swimmer here - this is so huge. 12 and unders with perfect technique have a tough road ahead of them. Especially if they are on the small side (and will stay that way) and don't have to try particularly hard to be quick. These kids tend to dominate before other kids grow in height and strength and start surpassing them. It's tough to watch.

[Anonymous]

I think a number of the elite athletes here would say take it slow. Be patient, burn out is real and swim is very much a long game.

I agree that how fast a kid is prior to puberty (and beyond) have very little influence on the swimmer in the long run. A lot of those very fast kids get pushed up groups so fast, practice too much early, etc.

A really fast 12 year old is nothing if they burn out or plateau at 15 and become incredibly frustrated at their lack of improvements. It is also tough to all of the sudden get surpassed by the kid who took the slower route (less practices and intensity) that has slowly been dropping time.

The kids that will not be D1 swimmers are the kids whose parent is coaching them on deck, making them cry, and living through their swimmer's hardwork. I would say you will be lucky if this kid swims in high school or continues loving swimming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

College swimmer here - this is so huge. 12 and unders with perfect technique have a tough road ahead of them. Especially if they are on the small side (and will stay that way) and don't have to try particularly hard to be quick. These kids tend to dominate before other kids grow in height and strength and start surpassing them. It's tough to watch.

Interesting, I've often heard the opposite. Kids that are big when they're young often dominate not because of perfect technique but because they're just big and muscle through - then it is those kids who have to relearn good technique as other start surpassing them as they grow.