My immigrant exDH is a loving, affectionate hands on dad but he used to do this to our kids when they were being oppositional toddlers because he never learned healthier more functional ways to handle it. People claiming it’s abuse are being completely ridiculous, but it’s really not good parenting. Kids are 8 and 10 now, and while they have a generally great relationship with him they absolutely remember it, still sometimes bring it up and talk about how scary it was. He has apologized to them multiple times and wouldn’t do it again if he got a do over |
how long do you have the child sit in the bathroom? does your kid cry while he/she is in the bathroom? |
Good God...no! Obviously. Tell him he has to sit quietly in his room or put him in a specific place where you can see him. |
Another parent interested in effective methods of discipline here. The usual suggestions don't work with every kids and I wish there were more parenting tips beyond the redirection, do not engage, positive encouragement etc. My parent friend group is mostly Americans who would balk at the idea of timeout, but when I have spent time around them and their children what I see is they basically put up with bad or at least very annoying behavior and let their toddlers/kids "walk all over them" like OP is describing. They don't seem happy about it, it's exhausting. But god forbid we talk about discipline and punishment. |
Humans need to learn empathy and face consequences to understand why they can't do whatever they want. It is a process with smart toddlers. They don't have a lot of empathy at the toddler age. It's normal. They have to learn it. |
I had to lock my child in his room several times between the ages of 2-4 because his explosive meltdowns were really intense. I had to do this so that I would not hit my child. We are super close and have a loving supportive relationship now that he’s a teen. He also ended up having ADHD fwiw. |
You don't need to punish him. Punishing is the wrong focus.
If he throws food, plate goes away. Natural consequence. If he hits, you both need a break which means he needs to be in his room: he can be loud there, that hurts nothing. Follow up with a normal pleasant interaction, because you've had your break and are ready to try again. Yes it's repetitive, because he's 2. This phase passes. BTW, it sounds like he needs more exercise and attention. Take the kid to the park, cone home and read a story. |
They don't work as you don't stick with them. Do nanny style time outs. Every time they get up you put them back and start all over. It may take all day. |
NO, if he hits there needs to be a stern talking to and a time out with apology. |
Look up The Happiest Toddler on the Block on Amazon. Great advice on how to communicate on a cave-person level with the cave-person a toddler is. |
He gets SO MUCH exercise and attention. We go outside to parks everyday, even when it's cold. When it's absolutely impossible I take him to indoor playgrounds and run him around. He gets read to for over 1-2 hours a day (because he loves it and we rarely say no when he asks for reading). Pre-school teachers say he is well behaved at school - does engage in boundary testing behavior when he is bored but he actually listens to the teachers when asked to stop. |
😳 |
Go read All Summer In a Day and try not to be traumatized |
what is a nanny style time out? |
You and he both need to read some books and/or take a class. A book like No Bad Kids can be read in one afternoon. Just do that to get going.
Most toddler misbehavior is attributable to either not having had enough physical activity or being hungry or tired, off schedule, etc. |