Is it cruel to lock my toddler in a dark closet for a couple of minutes?
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Anonymous
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2.5 DS is driving us crazy over the long holiday break. Constantly boundary testing and fighting everything (getting dressed, diaper changes, stopping destructive behavior). He's verbal enough that we know he understands what he's doing is wrong/not allowed, but he's just keeps at it to get a reaction out of us. DH threatened timeout and the following conversation ensues:
DS: What is timeout dada? DH: we lock you in your room for 5 minutes and you're not going to like it. DS: can I be loud in my room? DH: .....yes.. DS: can i be really loud? DH: yes DS: I go to timeout! DH suggested locking him in a closet so it's dark and he's scared (for a few minutes) so he's actually incentivized to avoid it as a punishment. Thoughts? |
Anonymous
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Please start setting aside money now to pay for the therapy that while will need in their 20s.
FYI, that’s abuse. |
Anonymous
| I don't think anyone had that conversation with their 2.5 yr old. Next. |
Anonymous
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OP, my parenting style leans to the authoritative side a bit and even I would never consider locking my child in a dark closet or room.
Please do not do this. It is abusive. |
Anonymous
| Think of it this way. Your child will learn coping skills from you. Develop some calm phrases and some calm consequences. If you would not want to see your toddler stuff someone else inside a dark closet, don’t do it to him. |
Anonymous
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Yep, that's abuse.
Timeout shouldn't involve locking a child in a room, and bedrooms definitely shouldn't be used in time out, but that's not abuse. It's just bad ineffective parting. If you think the dark would scare him, and you intentionally scare him, then you're crossing the line. |
Anonymous
| I really hope this is fake? You think its ok? |
Anonymous
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Scaring a toddler on purpose is absolutely abuse.
2 year olds have no impulse control and very little memory. The purpose of time out is to remove him from doing something unsafe and reset things. It's not going to keep him from doing it again. |
Anonymous
| I don't even get the logic because the closet won't prevent him from being loud. |
Anonymous
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and before anyone comes at me for abuse - DS is extremely well loved and secure toddler. Our frustration is he is perhaps too confident and knows he can walk all over us. We do try replacement behavior, redirecting, the usual parenting suggestions, but often it does not work. Here's another example of something that happens nightly. DS starts banging on the table during mealtime or throwing food. We take away his plate.
DS: I want my food back! DH: Why did dada take ita way? DS: Because I hit the table DH: Are you going to stop if I give it back to you? DS: Yes. We give it back. 2 minutes later destructive behavior returns. DH: Dinner is over (takes away his plate, removes him from table) DS: I want my food! DH: Why did I take it away? DS: Because I be mean. *repeats* |
Anonymous
| WTF? This is abuse. No. I would call CPS on you for this. |
Anonymous
Can you suggest an alternative? I know "fear" is the wrong word here but surely there is someway to get kids this age to respect parental authority a bit more? |
Anonymous
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DH misunderstands.
The punishment for the toddler is losing your attention on his shenanigans. No you don't try to scare your kid. Let him scream his head off in his device-free room. |
Anonymous
| Also, he's two. That is NORMAL. Take a parenting class. |
Anonymous
| Op are you not American originally? This is considered abuse here. |