My husband doesn't want kids

[Anonymous]

Interesting that no one has focused on OPS language: “I couldn’t have been clearer and he agreed.” Note that she doesn’t say “and he said he wanted them too.“

Not so sure he “changed his mind.”

[Anonymous]

You’re 31? Leave! You have time to find someone else who didn’t lie to you the whole time and will actually be a good dad to kids he actually wants. I know it’s hard but I would not have a kid with this man period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is news to me, as we talked about it 100x during our engagement and I couldn't have been clearer with my plans and he agreed.
Do I break up with him, accept a shitty father (basically he said he will have kids but isn't invested), or accept no family for the rest of my life?
I am 31, only married for eight months, and already devastated. Has anyone else been through this?

Get a divorce!!! Run don’t walk!!!
Having kids is the best thing that can ever happen to you. If you are someone who doesn’t want them, your life will still be awesome. But if you were someone who wanted them, and you are deprived from this want and biological need by your spouse, who deceived you into marrying him, then that want will never be filled by anything else in the world.
Do not wait. You can still rebuild your life and have children with someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that no one has focused on OPS language: “I couldn’t have been clearer and he agreed.” Note that she doesn’t say “and he said he wanted them too.“

Not so sure he “changed his mind.”

Who gives a shit? She’s 31 and can still have kids elsewhere!!! Run OP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorce, you will be SO GLAD you did! However hard it is now, think how you will feel in 10 years, still with him, no kids, resentful and angry. Cut your losses now. You’re still so young. I married at 34 and had two kids by 38. I’m 10 years older than you now and telling you now, don’t waste your 30s!

+1!

Think of how you'll feel when you divorce in a decade and he goes on to "be ready" and has kids with a younger woman. Tale as old as time. Leave! Find someone else.

[Anonymous]

BIL did not want any kids before marriage. My SIL tricked and bribed my BIL for no sex protection for 1 night with something he really wanted that costs a few thousands, and she got pregnant. He was beyond unbelievable but he had to accept that he would be a father. He loves their only daughter a lot. She probably planned for a long time in advance using those ovaluation stripes. She wanted another child, and no more chance.

I have another friend's husband did not want a kid because this was his second marriage and he already had a child from first marriage. My friend made it happen with " accident" with ooopsss... and they are happy married with a 10 year old son together.

I want to say that if you trust your husband really love you, then you could try to make it as an accident to get pregnant as long as you zip your lips to be quiet. There is ovaluation stripe, alcohol, sexy lingerine or whatever romantic things or bribes to make it happen...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that no one has focused on OPS language: “I couldn’t have been clearer and he agreed.” Note that she doesn’t say “and he said he wanted them too.“

Not so sure he “changed his mind.”

Who gives a shit? She’s 31 and can still have kids elsewhere!!! Run OP!!

I am not saying she should or shouldn’t. What I am saying is that it’s not necessarily fair to blame the guy. It sounds like OP went into the marriage with a lot of wishful thinking.

[Anonymous]

Divorce now. Absolutely no question.

[Anonymous]

[The climate emergency we are experiencing as a planet means your husban is right and you are wrong, OP. The world does not revolve around you, you know.

+1, maybe he just doesn't want to face the misery of our children in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BIL did not want any kids before marriage. My SIL tricked and bribed my BIL for no sex protection for 1 night with something he really wanted that costs a few thousands, and she got pregnant. He was beyond unbelievable but he had to accept that he would be a father. He loves their only daughter a lot. She probably planned for a long time in advance using those ovaluation stripes. She wanted another child, and no more chance.

I have another friend's husband did not want a kid because this was his second marriage and he already had a child from first marriage. My friend made it happen with " accident" with ooopsss... and they are happy married with a 10 year old son together.

I want to say that if you trust your husband really love you, then you could try to make it as an accident to get pregnant as long as you zip your lips to be quiet. There is ovaluation stripe, alcohol, sexy lingerine or whatever romantic things or bribes to make it happen...

So because he tricked and trapped her, she should trick and trap him?! That’s horrible advice. OP needs to run now while she can.

[Anonymous]

I would leave because I would not be able to ever trust him . At 31 divorce is a no brainer but I would freeze your eggs now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend was married to a guy who told her he didn’t want kids. So she didn’t have any. Ffwd to 8 years in, he divorced her and had 2 kids with the new wife.

This is a very definite possibility. Some men will say they don't want kids but they change their minds later, sometimes with another woman.

You should probably divorce, OP. You cant count on his changing his mind. However, you might find

1) that Mr. Right doesnt come along, so you need to be looking proactively or be okay with being a single parent.
2) Know that your stbx might change his mind with another partner.

[Anonymous]

Annulment would be appropriate if you had a religious wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Devil’s advocate: why not have a kid, since he is willing, and see how it goes?

He might do a 180 and fall in love when the kid is born. I did that (as a woman). I was ambivalent before and planned one mostly because due to social convention.

Or if he’s terrible, well at least you’ll get custody and some spousal support, which is better than doing it alone.

This is a child. Not an Amazon Prime subscription.

"see how it goes"

Are you insane?

[Anonymous]

I have never been through this.
I would divorce - ASAP